fear of pesticides-- and not trusting myself

[lilysouth]

My OCD takes really crazy forms.. I fear chemicals that are known carcinogens...particularly termite pesticide. (It started when I heard about the dangers years ago, and my aunt had her house treated. Then she died a few years later of cancer.) So my fears aren't related to dirt..but to things that might cause cancer. And my OCD is so bad, I start thinking "maybe I got some of those chemicals in a pest control truck on me or brought them in the house or put them in my purse ..and I just can't remember it". Or I invent the image of me getting this stuff on me  in my head. It's totally nuts, but it makes me afraid of so many things in my apartment (like my shoes, purse, computer case,etc) that might have gotten contaminated. I wish medication was a significant help for me, but it isn't -- and I've tried all the commonly used meds. I'm beginning to think i"m a hopeless case or need brain surgery or something. I just feel like giving up. Thanks for listening.

[lola099]

Hi Lilly,

I can realte to your fears, and I find that the best way to deal with them is not simply face them head on and once you realize nothing will happen, you will be able to beat this. I know this is easier said than done.

I have fear of contamination from germs and chemicals. My brother and mother in law both have bedbugs last year and they both had their houses treated chemically to kill these bugs. For the longest time, sometimes even still, I am afraid to take something from their house, not because of the bedbugs but because I am afraid that there is residual chemicals on the objects that will poison my cat and my children. After a year of these fears and having things brought into my house and having them visit, to date, nothing has happened that I have feared.

OCD has a way of getting waaaaaaaay out there and causing scenarios that to the the un-OCD'ed mind seem impossible but to us, seem totally logical and even probable. That is the real problem I find with OCD.

If you do not use any pesticides in your home then your home is free of these. We cannot control the outside world like our OCD would like us to do, but we can control our homes and what we choose to use in them. There are many green alternatives these days to the usual harsh chemicals that were once used. If you feel better using these products then do that.

Most pesticides dont have any residual effects, from what I understand. Steer clear of using them in your home and feel good knowing that you do not have any of these chemicals in your home. You can walk by the pest control truck and not get any pesticide on you. These people are professionals and they deal with dangerous chemicals they are taking the proper precautions to make sure there is no accidental exposure.

I know that it is frustrating and often overwhelming but with the right medication and the right therapy, you can return to a normal happy life without these fears.

[JGF25]

Lilly....remind me what you tried as far as medication goes and how long you gave each one to work....sorry for asking you to probably repeat stuff you already wrote.  :)