Hi ladies,
I just wanted to update you all on my mental health through all of this.
I am very religious but sometimes it is hard to have faith. One day this week, I just grew tired of worrying and crying and letting this consume me 24/7. So, I told both my DH and boss, that 1.) It's either cancer or it isn't. 2.) All this worrying is just making me sicker. 3.) All this worrying and crying is making the days pass by soooo slow. I go in 6 days for my first appointment. I don't want to live each day in agony until then. 4.) I know that God has it in His control and I have to learn to be more trusting. I mean really, that's all I have right now.
I have been on Prozac on and off for a while now, for PMDD. But some days there just isn't enough Prozac for my fears and tears. So I just had to dig in deep, somewhere, to find it in me to give up on the worry, at least for now. That and keeping myself busy helps, too.
Mood swings are very common. I constantly go through them. Alot of it I think is stress. There isn't one of us who isn't stressed out these days. ATivan works for me. It keeps me on a even keel sort of speak.Hect I'm begining to think I'm bi polar or something. Keep yourself busy for now, until the appt, otherwise one does worry themselves into a frenzy, and that isn't good. I am two years out from chemo and I take antidepresants, so I just don't lose it sometimes
Oops. I'm using my phone and I end up hitting the post button every time before I'm finished! Guess I have fat fingers. :)
Anyway, just wanted to remind you that the US is just one part of the whole picture. So don't let it add to your stress.
Take care!
Gail
If you think it could help, don't be afraid to try an antidepressant. Many of us have gone that route, and 5 years after my diagnosis, I'm still on one. Those medications are out there for a reason. If you try one and it doesn't agree with you, nothing says you have to stay on it. But all this watch and wait can be excruciating. If you prefer not to go that route, you could try something like Ativan. It can help calm your nerves enough to let you get to sleep if you find yourself staring at the ceiling at 3 a.m. I'm not a big advocate of drugging oneself out, but there is no shame in getting a little help when you need it.
About your US report...many times they word things in a way to cover themselves "just in case". It is sometimes pretty hard to get a definitive answer out of the images, so they'll mention anything that could possibly be there. So,
Thank you, first of all, for giving me comfort by being so welcoming and encouraging.
I went in today to pick up my medical records (my ultrasound report says more things than what the Dr. told me, but I guess they are much less serious things). I talked to the nurse about making an appointment for this. She said that the way my dr. works is that he works out one step at a time, and to call her after my appt. with the gyn/onc. So I am pretty much just stuck like this - in a run of mood swings. And according to my u/s report, my uterus is riddled with small fibroids or adenomyomatosis. Report was inconclusive there.
Anyway, I am just rambling now. Thank you so much, Gail.
Not only are your hormones out of whack, but you have this on your mind 24/7. No wonder you are having mood swings. It wouldn't matter if it were OvCa or not...if there is a cyst or mass there, it's affecting your hormones. It wouldn't necessarily be a symptom of malignancy. I would love to be able to tell you not to worry, but I know that is much easier said than done. So at the times when you can, come leave your worries here, and let us help you with them. When they start to creep in, remember you have a whole forum who will help you through it.
Gail