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Pain just spiked don't know what to do
My best friend since high school just called me, her huband shot and killed his self last night. I can't quit crying and my pain just went threw the roof. I don't know what to do or how to control it. She left him last weekend cause things just wasn't working out. Any ideas would be great, I know my family dr won't help me and I have no pain dr to go to for help. I had a good friend a couple of years ago her husband killed her and then killed his self. It is just like living that all over again but thank god he didn't hurt her this time.
Jamie
Jamie
I hear you about not wanting to go to the ER. I'm the same way. Short of near death, there is no power on earth that will make me go there for anything, and certainly not for pain management.
God bless you. We all understand but I doubt many of us have been in your exact situation before. You. Did. Nothing. Wrong. It is right to be upset. It is right to grieve. It is not right to blame yourself for someone else's actions. If it helps at all, I absolve you. :-)
Have you tried any breathing exercises yet? Lay down, get comfortable and concentrate on breathing slowly in through your nose and slowly out through your mouth. Kind of like the the breathing you do for childbirth. Once you get that under control, start thinking about how tense your muscles are. Start with your scalp and consciously try to relax those muscles. Work your way all the way down to your toes and don't forget to regulate your breathing while you do it.
When I'm in a bad state, no sooner do I relax my facial muscles and move on to shoulders then I realize my face is squinched up again. So, I keep on going from top to bottom and finally calm down enough to get a little relief.
God bless you. We all understand but I doubt many of us have been in your exact situation before. You. Did. Nothing. Wrong. It is right to be upset. It is right to grieve. It is not right to blame yourself for someone else's actions. If it helps at all, I absolve you. :-)
Have you tried any breathing exercises yet? Lay down, get comfortable and concentrate on breathing slowly in through your nose and slowly out through your mouth. Kind of like the the breathing you do for childbirth. Once you get that under control, start thinking about how tense your muscles are. Start with your scalp and consciously try to relax those muscles. Work your way all the way down to your toes and don't forget to regulate your breathing while you do it.
When I'm in a bad state, no sooner do I relax my facial muscles and move on to shoulders then I realize my face is squinched up again. So, I keep on going from top to bottom and finally calm down enough to get a little relief.
If you have to go to the ER just mention the pain being really bad and nothing about what happened or any emotional struggles you're dealing with because they'll probably just say you're having a mental breakdown.
My condolences for your friend and you. I understand how hard it can be at times but you WILL make it through this; it's just as matter of time.
My condolences for your friend and you. I understand how hard it can be at times but you WILL make it through this; it's just as matter of time.
I'm so sorry this happened. This is not your fault, people make their own decisions. I have plenty of experience with pain spiking due to emotional distress, and I have gone to the ER about it. Take it from me, do not mention the suicide. If you tell them about any emotional distress they will call for a psych consult, and possibly place you on a psych hold as well. And not only will you still be in pain, it might follow you throughout your future pain treatment. If you go to the ER, blame your tears on your physical pain.Good luck hon!
Jamie: This is NOT your fault. repeat NOT your fault. It's natural to wonder what if. Your friend's husband had problems, bad ones. And your advice was sound.
As for your pain, if it doesn't get better, try the ER. And don't mention the suicide.
I do hope you get relief soon. You've got way too much on your table right now. You don't deserve this but here you are. And some pain relief would be well deserved right now.
As for your pain, if it doesn't get better, try the ER. And don't mention the suicide.
I do hope you get relief soon. You've got way too much on your table right now. You don't deserve this but here you are. And some pain relief would be well deserved right now.
I won't go to the ER no way I will put myself thru that, I would just rather deal with it. I will try the things you guys said. I am on anti depression pills have been for about 6 months now. I just need to learn how to control my mind and ignore the pain when it gets bad. I am just really upset right now and that is making everything worse.
Jamie
Jamie
The ER, is the most sensible conclusion, as you have stated that your pain is, "out of control" ! As pain can be subject to our mental status, it seems that with this news and the fact that you have an underlying condition, it really points to your getting some medical intervention. NO ONE SHOULD EVER SAY, their family doctor will not help them. As we don't know you, it seems that if you can't rely on your Doctor, it's time to find another. But for today, if you feel out of control, in pain, go to an Emergency Room!! I sincerely hope you feel better, SOON !
I called my family dr and told them what was going on. They called back and said they are referring me to another pain dr as we speak so I should be getting a call from them. I just don't know how long it will take to get in. She also said since I am going thru so much right now she will talk to the dr about giving me more meds but she is gone for the day so she will call me in the morning.
the bad thing in all this, I told my best friend a few weeks ago that she needed to move on with her life she wasn't happy and she needs to be happy and her husband will move on also. So I feel like this is my fault. My other friend that was killed I talked her into going back to her husband and she got killed after she did. I really need to just shut up. I am so upset right now and I can't be with her cause she is 3 hours away from me. I just hope she isn't mad at me.
Jamie
the bad thing in all this, I told my best friend a few weeks ago that she needed to move on with her life she wasn't happy and she needs to be happy and her husband will move on also. So I feel like this is my fault. My other friend that was killed I talked her into going back to her husband and she got killed after she did. I really need to just shut up. I am so upset right now and I can't be with her cause she is 3 hours away from me. I just hope she isn't mad at me.
Jamie
Jamie, first let me express my condolences. Having lost my mother recently, I completely understand how grief and anxiety increase physical pain levels. Tempting as it is, this isn't a situation that increased pain medication can help. If you aren't alread on an antidepressant med, this would be a good time to explore it.
It's also a good time to see a pain psychologist if you aren't doing so now. Aside from this latest trauma, anyone with chronic pain should see a pain shrink. Pain messes with every aspect of our lives and a good shrink can teach you some new coping skills for both the physical emotional pain. Relaxation techniques help me more than meds when these things happen.
You have to focus on slowing and controlling your breathing and then convince every muscle in your body to relax from your head to heels. Think about it. When your pain levels spike, you may breathe faster like panting or more likely hold your breath. That also causes your muscles to tense up, all of which result in increased pain. If you can use relaxation skills to drift off to sleep, so much the better. Sleep is one way to escape pain if you can relax enough to do it.
Use any distraction you can think of. Read a book. Listen to music. Watch a movie. Meditate. Pray. Anything that will get your mind off how much you're hurting. These techniques won't cure your pain, but they can help you endure it better.
It's also a good time to see a pain psychologist if you aren't doing so now. Aside from this latest trauma, anyone with chronic pain should see a pain shrink. Pain messes with every aspect of our lives and a good shrink can teach you some new coping skills for both the physical emotional pain. Relaxation techniques help me more than meds when these things happen.
You have to focus on slowing and controlling your breathing and then convince every muscle in your body to relax from your head to heels. Think about it. When your pain levels spike, you may breathe faster like panting or more likely hold your breath. That also causes your muscles to tense up, all of which result in increased pain. If you can use relaxation skills to drift off to sleep, so much the better. Sleep is one way to escape pain if you can relax enough to do it.
Use any distraction you can think of. Read a book. Listen to music. Watch a movie. Meditate. Pray. Anything that will get your mind off how much you're hurting. These techniques won't cure your pain, but they can help you endure it better.
I would try the ER. But I would be skeptical about mentioning the terrible news as it may give them the impression your just being emotional instead of being in real pain.
I know that is ridiculous to us CP sufferer's but unfourtunty that is the way some doctor's will see your situation.
I had a terrible experience happen to me when I was pregnant and it was a high risk pregnancy.
I had taken over as Mom for my husbands niece's daughter from birth. I was essentially this little girls Mom. When she turned three she took the baby from me and I had a break down! I was having chest pains and my pain sky rocketed. I went off all my meds during pregnancy and so I went too the ER for help and was wrote off as being overly emotional from the situation and sent home!
So just give them the facts and nothing more, only my suggestion.
I am so sorry for you and your friend!
I know that is ridiculous to us CP sufferer's but unfourtunty that is the way some doctor's will see your situation.
I had a terrible experience happen to me when I was pregnant and it was a high risk pregnancy.
I had taken over as Mom for my husbands niece's daughter from birth. I was essentially this little girls Mom. When she turned three she took the baby from me and I had a break down! I was having chest pains and my pain sky rocketed. I went off all my meds during pregnancy and so I went too the ER for help and was wrote off as being overly emotional from the situation and sent home!
So just give them the facts and nothing more, only my suggestion.
I am so sorry for you and your friend!
I'm sorry Jamie. I had this happen to your family not to ling ago and it *****. I thought you had a new Pain Management Clinic lined up. I recall that your appt. should have been just recently or coming up. I remember that you had to cancel the anitial appt. due to your Son's surgery. Can you call them?
I wish I had better advise. Hang in there. If the pain gets too bad, go to the ER.
Best wishes,
Molly
I wish I had better advise. Hang in there. If the pain gets too bad, go to the ER.
Best wishes,
Molly
My dear, my heart is breaking for your friend and for you. Words cannot express the sadness at hearing not only this news but the horrible news that you received a couple of years ago of the loss not only of your other friends husband but also the horrifying news that he took her life also. It's no wonder that your pain is at such high levels right now.
If your friend lives else where and you are not going there right now, then try to go in and TRY to relax in a warm bath with some soothing music and have a REALLY good cry or possibly lay down with a cool wash cloth in a dark room with some soothing music and have a really good cry. Take some Ibuprofin or tylenol to help you relax and just stay quiet for awhile. IF you have ANYTHING that can help you relax of course take that instead of the OTC meds. (I'm going on the concept that you are TOTALLY out of your pain meds.)
Jamie, I am sending you a PM. Please check it.
My heart is breaking for what your friend and you have to endure....Sherry
If your friend lives else where and you are not going there right now, then try to go in and TRY to relax in a warm bath with some soothing music and have a REALLY good cry or possibly lay down with a cool wash cloth in a dark room with some soothing music and have a really good cry. Take some Ibuprofin or tylenol to help you relax and just stay quiet for awhile. IF you have ANYTHING that can help you relax of course take that instead of the OTC meds. (I'm going on the concept that you are TOTALLY out of your pain meds.)
Jamie, I am sending you a PM. Please check it.
My heart is breaking for what your friend and you have to endure....Sherry
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