The consequences of stupidity

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I have Reiters Syndrome (Reactive Arthritis) and have been on opiates and fentanyl patches for the past six months.  At the moment I’m having a massive relapse, but I’m very frustrated that the meds don’t seem to be helping. Today I started on high doses of cortisone (I am also type 1 diabetic and asthmatic), but I wrote the following to a friend and would like anyone on opiates to read it in the hope that it will help someone someday.

I have Reiters Syndrome (Reactive Arthritis) and have been on opiates and fentanyl patches for the past six months.  At the moment I’m having a massive relapse, but I’m very frustrated that the meds don’t seem to be helping. Today I started on high doses of cortisone (I am also type 1 diabetic and asthmatic), but I wrote the following to a friend and would like anyone on opiates to read it in the hope that it will help someone someday.

I decided to test out my pulmonogist’s theory that I can’t become a drug addict, and my Pain Specialist’s view that people with chronic pain don’t become addicts. So the long and the short of it is that I have not had a fentanyl patch on for the past 36 or so hours. I thought I was doing brilliantly last night, never told a soul what I was up to and I was very impressed by the lack of withdrawal symptoms. You all know what’s coming don’t you……

Turns out I am most certainly physically addicted to opiates. I got up this morning, I felt incredibly sore particularly in the back and fingers.  Still I did not feel anything different.  After being up for about two hours I started feeling a bit odd, so I had a snack thing maybe my sugar was out of whack. I also took a big dose of cortisone to try help with the joint pain.  About 15 minutes later it hit me like a ton of bricks!  Heart started beating out of rhythm, my mind started jumping all over the place, my body felt like it was separate to my brain, and I started getting a huge panic attack. I had no horrible desire to take any drug, so I guess it’s true that I’m not mentally addicted.

I took some Ativan hoping it would help – no.
I took a bath thinking it would relax me – no.
I tried a bit of meditation – no, no, I couldn’t make my mind still or empty.

I realized what a huge mistake I had made and stuck an new fentanyl patch on.  Won’t work for a while.  Long ago a doctor gave me methadone after I’d been having morphine injections for a few weeks (I had broken 3 ribs from coughing so hard because I had pneumonia so I needed strong meds for the pain). I only needed the methadone for a short time and I still had some in the bottle (thank goodness), so I’ve taken that and it has settled things right down.

My heart rate is steady but fast, my mind has slowed down, and I feel a lot more relaxed. I’ve called my GP but he was unable to speak to me as he’s stitching someone up but will call back later (just now in SA language) and I’ll tell him what I did, what the results were and ask where we should go from here.

I’m sitting here typing and watching a tv reality show called “Interventions”, and I’m thinking I’m as stupid as some of those who choose to become an addict. Well I’ve learned a major lesson today. If anyone reads this and is even considering doing such a dumb thing, please, think again. Get expert advice first!!!!!!!!!!

[Toomanyadvil]

Oh I didnt read the last paragraph, sorry then you knew it wasnt a good decision
IT is a huge problem that faces us all as the stigma that we are all addicts.  

[Toomanyadvil]

Dependancy: When a body becomes dependant on a drug and without it will suffer withdrawls, for Chronic Pain Patients this does not signify psychlogical dependance which is addiction.

Psychological Dependance: a compultion to take a substance  in order to get a high, depsite negative consequences resulting from it or despite having any pain which would need opioids

It is very possible to be physically dependant and not psychologically dependant and also possible to be psychologicaly dependant and not physically dependant,

The research is right only 1% of chronic pain sufferes become addicted to pain meds
the reason for this is simple. We dont not have the same reaction in the brain as someone who is intending to feel high. Infact some of us have never had a high from our medication. Althoug hwhen you take your very first doses you could feel a bit out of sorts but with CP that quickly goes away and is not considered a high.

The only thing you managed to do was make yourself ill for no reason and probably end up pissing your DR off for not follow his prescription and rules.  
Leave the research up to the reserachers and just take care of your pain.
If YOU feel YOU are addicted then tell your DR. If I were you I wouldnt send it around to people. You'll only be adding to the problem of those who dont know what addiction is.  And adding to the general problem we all face as CP sufferes.  

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Yup, I know all that and what I did was really stupid.  A lot of things lead up to me taking such drastic measures, the main one is that my medical insurance will no longer pay for the fentanyl patch as I have a limit funds.  They are too expensive for me to afford and I wanted to know NOW how much effect they were having on the pain.

I've taken some methadone a few times today and the new patch has kicked in and I can feel the improvement in the pain, so obviously I need the drug.

I know I'm not a "drug addict".

Where in Oz do you live, I have family in Bairnsdale.

[mareke]

If you took the opiates because they were prescribed for pain then there is no reason to think of yourself as an addict. Addiction is when you take a drug for reasons other than the therapeutic purpose of the drug (which in the case of opiates is pain relief). Your body has become used to the opiates and you experience some withdrawal symptoms when you stop taking them but since you were prescribed the opiates by a doctor for a valid therapeutic reason (as opposed to say a person that takes heroin solely to get high) then you aren’t an addict. The test of whether someone is an addict is not whether the person experiences withdrawal on stopping taking a drug but the reason the drug is taken. If you want to get off the opiates you could do so by tapering down in consultation with your doctor and from the symptoms you described you are better off doing it with your doctor knowing it rather than off your own bat.