I have a few questions.
I have two sons from a previous marriage. They recently have been diagnosed with A.D.H.D. and are given both concerta and benadryl at night to help them sleep while at their mothers. At my home they have no problem sleeping and I do not give them the benadryl. I do give them the concerta. I am concerned, because when they are in my care they have never acted like they do around their mother, even before they started the adhd medication they were never as hyper as she describes them in her home and at their school. She said they constantly disrupt the class. I am wondering if this may be a behavioral thing, more than A.D.H.D? I am worried they may have jumped the gun and not fully examined the problem. When they are in my home, they are not unusably hyper. I am wondering if there is a possibility of it being something else? I am also wondering if there are any long term affects of taking both of these drugs? is there any alternatives? She has admitted to not always giving the oldest the concerta, due to money difficulty buying the pills. Sometimes she gives it to him on school days, but not weekends, and sometimes not at all. this also concerns me.
My other concern is with their development. One is 10 and the other 8. They up until last summer were sharing a bedroom with their mother, and sleeping in her bed. They only recently started sleeping in their own beds at her home. They were sleeping with her. They say they have a lot of bad dreams at her house, and cannot sleep. At my home they have little to no bad dreams. Now she has given them teddy bears and tells them they have to sleep with them. She has sprayed perfume on them to remind them of her. She now send the stuffed animals to my home and tells me they have to sleep with them. To further my concern sometimes she still lets them sleep with her and her new boyfriend in their bed or sleep on their floor. The 10 year old was wetting the bed up until last month almost every other night. He has sense slowed down the bedwetting doing it about once every couple of weeks if that. Is what she is doing harming the development of my boys in any way? I am very concerned. I am worried that her actions may have long term affects on our boys.
My last question ties into the other two. The oldest is struggling in school. He is in fourth grade, has already failed one grade, and has been in danger every other year. She is trying to say it is his A.D.H.D. but I am unsure. He almost seems as if he does not want to do it, or like he is bored from it. If I sit down at the table with him, he does focus on his homework. Is this normal for A.D.H.D.? Is there anything I can do?
I look forward from hearing from you. Thank you.
A Very Concerned Parent