Why does she not live full time with her dad?
No. She lives between her grandmothers house and our house because her school is closer to her home. She comes to our house during the weekends. Her mother is not available, she doesent know her.
Something else is going on here. I get the feel from your comments that the step daughter is more a burden to you. Also its not a normal thing to have your kid live away from you if dhs or other child protection is not involved. I'm sure there are plenty of schools near you. Most public schools have roughly the same Curriculum bace, and there is not much dif from one to the next as far as educational gane.if you are fortunate enough to have a private school the normal parental response would be to move closer to the school. If she is in need of a special school your home district legally has to buss her from home. Your message has a feel of contention towards your step daughter, and opositionaly a feel of over pride for your daughters. Example why mention them? Is the problem with them? Isn't it obvious your daughters are perfect because you are the worlds best mom with perfect kids? You wouldn't want people thinking the heathen is your fault. This is your problem. Kids don't raise themselves. Who is taking an interest in this child? Who is taking responsibility for her? Dad shipping her off to grandma who is actually not responsible. For school is lame. I'm sure your daughters go to school just fine from your house. Mom is MIA. Her step mom would rather deal with her perfect children and blame any problem on mental problems, rather than take an interest.in short why should she take an interest in this Girl why should she? She has learned that she is less than important,or wanted. So she is acting accordingly. How often do you tell your two at home you love adore them,and they are beautiful? How often do you tell this girl that,and mean it? Obviously less just for the fact that she is not even home 5 of the 7 week days available. How is she to feel when her parents don't even want her.if you care at all for this kid? Bring her home. Show an interest. Tell her she is to beautiful a girl to have bad maners. Tell her what you want to see rather than how disgusting she is. If you continually tell a child they are gross they will feel gross,and act according to that belief.she is acting like what you expect from her. How you make her feel about herself. Get her a new hair cut and paint her nails get her a new outfit. Make her feel good about herself, and important enough to warrant a need for manars.most importantly the adults in her life need to stop putting the responsibility for her off on other things, and other people,and desire to actually care for her,and about her.How a young adult leaves your home feeling, there abilities,to cope with real life practicaly,and emotionaly,and there skills for success do reflect on your parenting skills weather or not they are yours by blood.I have two adopted children in my home. I'd never dream of putting out there that those two aren't my fault because they aren't mine.they are in my home. I am responsible for them. Who is responsible for this child. She should be her fathers. And shame on you for dating a man with a child if you can't be responsible for his kid to. Snob.
Agree with much of what you have said here. thank you
If she didnt care or wasnt interested then how come she came on here for help with her? How come she wants her behabior to change? Its obvious that she does care and is interested because if she wasnt she wouldnt have reached out to the entire world for help regarding her step daughter. Leave her alone stop attacking her everyone makes mistakes. We are here to help not chastise or judge.
If you think she has a developmental problem then she needs to see a developmental pediatrician asap. Talk to her regular pediatrician immediately and get her some help. What do you do with your other children that helps them stay clean? Try those same techniques with her and see what happens.