how to help your kid (s) readjust

[babyhalestorm]

I need help, I'm not sure I know what I'm doing; but do any of us really? There's no how-to book for parenting. My daughter has been an only child for 10 years I'm currently pregnant with my second, due in June, lately she's been acting up she throws a fit when she doesn't get what she wants, talks back and she neglects to do her chores, all are new. She's usually so responsible and ready to help I know this is from the changes that are currently happening and will eventually happen but other than sitting her down and talking to her about how her behavior is unacceptable I don't feel like that's the right approach because I'm having that talk with her every other day now! Her father and I divorced after 10 years when she was 7 and no longer makes the effort to be in her life but my current BF (her step father) spoils the hell out of her and calls her his buddy but I think that she knows deep down inside that she will no longer be the apple of his eye when baby arrives. I don't know how to help her readjust and I know she's throwing a fit because she doesn't know how else to express her emotions, someone please help. Any advice is taken with the greatest appreciation.

[babyhalestorm]

Thank you so much! I feel awful that she may feel like she's being replaced. I have set some time aside for the weekend to just be with her. I'm working on the praises, even just for waking up on her own in the morning.

[babyhalestorm]

Thank you so much!

[babyhalestorm]

Thank you so much!

[specialmom]

Ahh, sorry to hear this.  Your daughter seems to be in distress and angry.  I like the idea above but really, I think you need to spend some one on one time with her doing fun things, reassuring her and making her feel secure.   I know that is slightly counter intuitive because she is not behaving properly but could be what she needs.  Also, lots of praise for everything she does right.  even if it is an expectation---  praise her like crazy as if she is just wonderful for putting her shoes in the right place.  Kids respond to this.

I know it is hard but it sounds like she is struggling emotionally.  Hang in there

[babyhalestorm]

That's such a great idea! Thanks for the advice. I do need to invest some time into her I think school and work took priority and now it's just the norm, last thing I want is for her to feel lonely when baby arrives

[pc010305]

If she is into reading go to a bookstore and look for books for her age on major life changes. If she is into art or writing let her know she can use those mediums to express how she feels. I had issues growing up and my journals and poetry were my life savers. My Grandma never forced me to share any of them with her. She knew i needed something that was mine and mine alone. 10 years is a long time. One thing I know for sure is making sure you spend some time one on one with her even 15 minutes is very important.  Try and have a period of time each day that you devote to her.  Maybe while baby is sleeping? The biggest concern she has is being forgotten. Continue to reassure her and love on her. It will take time but it will get better. Hope this helps!