Baby dad' s mom dilemma

[1st_pregnancy27]

Ok so my baby dad already has a son and I'm currently 37 weeks pregnant. His mom is constantly buying stuff for his son but has not bought one item for my child. She supposedly is supposed to get him a bassinet but that has not happened her response is always " well dang is the baby here yet" so me being me I take offense to that and my mindset is you don't have to get anything for my child "KEEP YA MONEY". So I went online just now and purchased my baby a bassinet,  now my baby daddy is pissed at me because his MaMa said she was gone get the bassinet but the vibe I get is that's bs because she wouldve made a move by now. I don't feel any good vibes coming from her when it comes to purchasing stuff for our child. And when she buys stuff for his other son I feel like she tries to kinda rub it in my face. What do you ladies think about that?

[specialmom]

I think the question of whether you should buy it or not is fine---  you did the right thing.  I'm just talking about being eternally angry about it.  That is just not worth it.  Tell her you went ahead and got it because you were worried and wanted to be ready for the baby with a smile on your face and leave it at that.  good luck

[1st_pregnancy27]

I think I made the right decision especially when my baby daddy asked her in my face and her response was well dang is he here yet....I was supposed to have my baby shower back in October which I cancelled she was going to come with some gifts since I cancelled the baby shower I guess she decided not to purchase the gifts....meaning the story keeps changing at one point I said I was getting the bassinet, my mom was getting the car seat or stroller and she was getting the crib then all of a sudden she decided she was going to get all three (car seat, bassinet and crib) because I haven't recieved not one item. I got my baby his bassinet, my mom will be getting the carseat next week. Her word is not bond in my eyes, because if it was the stuff that she supposedly would've purchased for my baby shower would be sitting in my house right now. I don't have time to waste.

[Dee30yo]

I have a girlfriend who is 40 weeks. The mother of her boyfriend waited until they were at the register to western union money to purchase the crib. If that was me I would've purchased the crib and acted like she never offered. Take people for how they act, accept it, and move on. Most people are not true to their word and just want to seem better than what they are. Good luck.

[specialmom]

I had one last comment too . . .   I also realize that there is a good chance the poster is just venting.  She's probably much softer inside than that and doesn't mean she'll not let her mother in law babysit or things like that.  I get it.  We do need a place to vent and when frustrated, we go a bit overboard.  I just encourage it to be venting and not things we act on.  :>)

[specialmom]

I think being mad about it is not worth it.  And I do hear a ring of jealousy in the way she writes about all the his mother does for  his other child.  I only have what she writes to go on.  

I just pick  my battles.  And look for ways to get along with important people in my partner's life.  Because I can almost guarantee if this issue continues in this direction, they will have a lot of family issues.  

You all don't have to believe me on this.  But I have a history of not having drama in my life because drama s ucks the ,life out of everything.  And so often we blame the other one for it when we often are a main contributor.  It's just not worth it.  

So, it's just really important for me to at least 'try' to help people move on from things that in the big picture are not that important.  I agree she should buy her bassinet if she feels she needs it.  I didn't suggest her baby sleep on the floor.  She can then just say to her mother in law "hey, I just wanted you to know since the baby is going to be here in a couple of weeks, that I went ahead and got a bassinet because I was nervous that I needed to have somewhere ready to go for the baby to sleep.  No big deal.  I just took care of it.'  That's like a grown up conversation between two women and worth handling things that way rather than being huffy about it in my opinion.  good luck

[RockRose]

Here's the deal.  Some family members are toxic,  and dangerous,  and you shouldn't be around them because they will harm you or your child.

Some family members are just a little prickery and you should work your best to smooth things over.  There are a lot of pregnant moms in this thread who think you should treat your boyfriend's family exactly the way they treat you - each member, if they're super sweet you treat them sweetly if they're a little more edgy you treat them back that way and even more.  And don't let them around your baby.  And complain all the time about them.

Do you see how this isn't working out?  Do you see that life would be much easier if you just made a small effort to get along?

How about upcoming Christmas and Thanksgiving,  baby's birthdays,  etc.  - wouldn't it be nice to look forward to those events and not dread them because you will be thinking of ways to get revenge on people you don't care for as much as your boyfriend does?

That's one of the secrets of a happy life,  I promise you.