Baby dad' s mom dilemma

[1st_pregnancy27]

Ok so my baby dad already has a son and I'm currently 37 weeks pregnant. His mom is constantly buying stuff for his son but has not bought one item for my child. She supposedly is supposed to get him a bassinet but that has not happened her response is always " well dang is the baby here yet" so me being me I take offense to that and my mindset is you don't have to get anything for my child "KEEP YA MONEY". So I went online just now and purchased my baby a bassinet,  now my baby daddy is pissed at me because his MaMa said she was gone get the bassinet but the vibe I get is that's bs because she wouldve made a move by now. I don't feel any good vibes coming from her when it comes to purchasing stuff for our child. And when she buys stuff for his other son I feel like she tries to kinda rub it in my face. What do you ladies think about that?

[specialmom]

Okay, just going to be honest.  Kind of an issue that you take offense to this.  Your boyfriends child is here and has an established relationship with his grandma and it is wonderful she does things for him.  THAT child is not competition for yours and if you continue to look at it that way, you'll ruin things with your boyfriend's mom as well as your boyfriend.  When we get together with someone and they already have a kid, this is a common thing that happens.  Women get territorial and a bit jealous.  TRY to fight that as it benefits no one.

I'm sure she'll bond with your baby too.  Give the poor woman a chance.  All she is doing is getting stuff for a kid she already knows and loves.  If you look at things like tic for tat and how much money someone spends on your kid, wowie, that is just going to cause issues.  

Asking her not to babysit for your child only hurts YOU and the CHILD.  We have to rise above knee jerk emotions.  heck, I'd LOVE a grandma to babysit for my kids and you think because she isn't buying gifts and baby items for your child yet she won't be a good grandma?  Yikes.   A lifetime of drama if this is the situation you're starting now.  

I'm being blunt to help spur a different way of thinking before you yourself create a bad relationship that never heals.  good luck

[Nov_miracle2014]

Show Her That You Don't Have To Depend On Her For Anything It's Your Baby You Do What You Have To Do....Let It Burn Her.....Rub It IN If You Have To.
..

[RockRose]

I agree with SM.  Life is SO MUCH easier if you just put a little bit of effort into getting along with people who will be in your life forever.  It's just not that hard,  and the rewards are huge.  Your boyfriend would be very happy if you tried to get along with her.  Your child would benefit from having a grandma (who is kind of scatterbrained). You would get that angry pit out of your stomach and feel better if you aren't locking horns with her.

You got the bassinette yourself,  and can't blame you for that - you're 37 weeks and it's time to put the nursery together.  But I think you should ask her to buy you something that it won't matter at all if she does it - but make it sound like you care.

Maybe a special quilt for floor playtime?  Just say you really want a special quilt/blanket from her that he will know came from grandma,  and can use for years.  Say something about how she seems to have an eye for that kind of thing and you'd appreciate her help.

And you know what?  That won't cost you a dime to act like that and you'll feel better giving up this spiteful relationship you have with her.

And it won't matter one whit if she actually does it or not.   You'll have lots of blankets you can use for that so if she does it great if not it's no loss.

Drama is overrated,  although it's an addictive habit.  Life is richer without it.

[specialmom]

Gosh ladies, the point is to decrease bad feelings in our life.  This adversarial relationship developing is unnecessary.  Much better to diffuse the situation than to help it fester.  As I look back, the times I gave into that were some of my darkest moments.  We want their relationship to grow closer and for the family to ALL get along.  Seeing it as less of a competition and less about things someone buys for another child being some kind of sign that she loves that child more.  Well, at this point, she probably does but that isn't anything against a baby not yet born.  She'll love that baby too as she gets to know him or her.  Give the poor woman a chance!!  

I'm all about healing relationships rather than making rifts bigger.

I know the poster is having what are normal emotions when caught up in the moment.  It's important to see the bigger picture and think long term. This is not worth causing the relationship to have serious issues over.  I wish the poster the very best of luck.  If she spoils a grandchild, take that as encouraging that she may some day spoil yours.  Encourage a good relationship rather than just being mad because she hasn't bought you things at this point.  good luck

[specialmom]

Posting at the same time as rockrose.  I think she has a good idea about the quilt or something like that.  

[Ms_Is23]

I would have done the same thing...your 37 weeks and u have a right to want things prepared and ready for your baby