Not being allowed to serve at church

[KristenC04]

I'm not really sure how to feel about this. Part of me feels like i deserve it and the other part feels like its not right. My worship pastor told me i can't sing at the new multisite or any ensembles till after i have the baby cause they don't want to send the wrong message. I can't be a greater either. I don't see how hiding me till after the baby is going to change anything people will still see the baby. If anything now i just feel more ashamed disappointed and embarrassed at church. I'm 30wks and they are just now telling me all this. I love my church but i think it might be time to find another one :(

[bee701]

A "woman of God" is to live righteously and to follow the example of Christ.I am the wife of a full time Reverend and in our church many young women have babies out of wedlock, my husband baptises them and throws no judgement on the mothers/fathers.its not up to us in the world to judge each other but its up to us as individuals to see fault in ourselves and try to rectify and not make it hard on ppl.see, being part of the worship team there are lil kids watching and admiring, mimetic theory suggests thy can't pick or choose the good in u, thy see u single and happy with ur baby and want to be like u and that distorts Gods commission of being married.I've counselled tons of women, its such a bad idea having a child out of wedlock, it makes life difficult for the child and the drama surrounding it isn't worth it.however it is true that babies are innocent!!! If u seek a new church maybe ul b happier.all the best with the rest of ur pregnancy, God bless.

[kendallleblanc]

If you are in a church where you are very involved in and being looked up to an example,  and you are pregnant out of wedlock you cannot expect them to be okay with you resuming your role. That would be saying it's okay to have sex, and get pregnant out of marriage. The church is completely in the right.

[jamie_michael]

Ok I'm a church girl too an  if my church did that I'd find a new one because obviously they aren't in it for the holy spirit or God they just carry the name of a church that's it

[KristenC04]

Thank you so much ladies for you guidance and support. I haven't made up my mind yet its hard to leave and start over. I have been praying and hope i will be shown the way soon. Sounds silly but this has been so very upsetting and hard for me. I was a mess all day at church Sunday cause i felt embarrassed ashamed and hurt. Wondering who all was looking down on me when this entire time i was feeling so accepted and loved even though i greatly disappointed so many.

[lilpianogirl85]

I'm sorry but I have to respectful disagree with what the church is putting you through and with a number of people who posted on this board. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. I think it is wrong for the members of the church to treat you that way. And the only reason they are treating you this way is because your mistake is more visible than the mistakes they have made. The better more godly way to treat you is to show you the love of God you despite your sin and mistake. When I had my first son it was out of wedlock and I went through the same thing. I was not allowed to sing in the choir or help out in the nursery. And no one has a right to stand behind the bible and shun you because of a sin. They do not know where your relationship with God is and your walk with him. People and churches now are so focused on looking right and acting right and blah blah but that is totally wing. It's not about anyone but your personal walk. For goodness sake when Jesus walked the earth he had dinner with a tax collector, he wasn't worried about what it looked like, he was caring for his people. And the way that they are making you feel is wrong. Find a church that will love you and except you for who you are no matter what sins you have in your past

[ashsue]

Find another church that doesnt make u feel bad. Some lady said eailer"why would u want to sing in public about a god u dont beluve in. $#@& her i know thats not what u were saying. u do beive in god  and ur church turned against u. This woman is as small minded as the leaders of ur church. God says all babies are blessings... that no one can judge but him and repent ur sins and god will forgive u. A church should never judge but rather allow all "sinnners" and i use that loosley were all sinners.  God wanted you to spred his gospel and love to those who need it not turn ur back and judge.
Going to church doest make u more religious and standing in a grage doent make u mechanic. Beleif comes from the heart and god will know that where ever u may be.

[wayfunmommy]

I would find another church. Jesus says, "Love God and love people." By shunning you, they sure the heck aren't showing you love. I left the Baptist Church because of all their judgements and rules that aren't in the Bible what so ever.  There are churches out there who will welcome you with open arms, love you and your baby and be honored to have you serve God through them.

[alid32]

Find another church. You don't need to be shamed for being pregnant mama.

[missymarie214]

As an athiest, that's something I don't deal with, but last week I did agree to go to church to make my family feel better, and I'm huge and showing, no wedding ring, and they still greeted me with open arms, telling my congrats, and how amazing being a mom is. I can't believe a church of all places who preach of forgiveness, and kindness would be so rude. I would definitely look into another church, because that just doesn't sound right, even to me.

[loveYou4Ever11]

I think try i different church..pregnancy is a beautiful thing .

[DenziWife]

i know alot of ppl had that  happen to them becuz they werent married including my best friend i dnt agree with it but i understand it

[lousie_1986]

People talk about letting you be WHO YOU ARE and LOVE and RESPECT. People that go to church generally believe the Bible right? So you'd believe humans are so sinful they need to be saved. And therefore 'who you are' is the old flesh. The new creation strives to be Christlike right? So for your church to show love they would encourage you to be like Christ. They would also need to be mindful of how their leaders were encouraging others to be like Christ, and therefore removing them from leadership if their actions were jeopardizing this, much the same as a corrupt official would be removed from the police force for fear the public might start to think it's ok to act like that. The nice thing about church is that you get second chances. All the time. God keeps forgiving. But it just might not be wise (for a while) to be in a position where other members look up to you as an example. God will still hear you sing just as clearly off the stage as on... no shame in stepping down for a while and praising him from the congregation floor instead, people will actually respect you more for being able to admit your mistakes. On the other hand if you think the Bible and your leaders are wrong on this issue, why would you want to sing in public about a God you don't actually agree with?? Definitely find somewhere else to meet that suits your beliefs or just leave church! Don't let a bunch of people or an old-fashioned god make you feel uncomfortable about something you don't even believe in!

[niolaisthebest]

That makes no sense no sin is greater then the other... i would of properly told him something

[number3andme]

We all sin they should not turn u away really wwjd

[shysmom87]

I am Christian and attend church. My church has been loving and accepting to people who are not married or people who have cheated,etc. They dont try to bash people or judge or claim to be more perfect then anyone else. They welcome all to our church and try to help in any way they can. Dont be discouraged sweetie, not all churches are the right church for you. But this could be satans way of trying to stop you from goin down the right patj and stop you from church. If you feel like its not the church for you try a different one until you find one that welcomes and loves you. Dont quit going altogether. The Bible also says a child is a gift from God and it doesnt say only children to wedded mothers so i believe it applies to all children to wedded and unwedded mothers.

[MrzMac]

Oh honey, I know you came here for advice and I can only imagine how you're feeling seeing so many judging. No church should turn away a serving heart. Take a deep breath and pray. Though it hurts maybe this is a nudge that you're in the wrong church to be raising your baby. There is no "one way" to serve and worship. If you were not supposed to be having this baby, you wouldn't. I'll be praying for you and the hearts of those involved.

[kolbysmom87]

Word!!! :-)

[christeng]

Aaannnnnddddddd that's why I dont go to church! They hide people for who they truely are when that person has nothing to be shameful of. **** them.

[rosealie23]

I agree stuff happens and not everyone is perfect but they have to show that it is not ok.

[rosealie23]

I agree with the church. If they put you on display they are sending a message to single women that it's ok to have sex and babies and not get married.

[Sammiegirl28]

Have you tried a non denominational church? I.was also raised Baptist, but found a great, loving church family at a non denominational church when I was pregnant with my first. Don't give up on your faith bc of a few bad apples.

[anj3li3]

I agree with you Dandi_2014

[Dandi_2014]

This makes being an Atheist very simple & easy to me..
but each to their own.
I hope they come around and RESPECT and LOVE you for WHO YOU ARE.
I am disgusted people treat eachother like this.

[csections]

Im pentecostal, i know alot of baptists are old school my guess would be that you got pregnant while a member there out of wedlock it does make the church look kinda bad but as i said in my comment before its about the heart and if your saved and your relationship with God this is why so many churches have problems today because they judge to much. as far as waiting until after you have the baby your right it wont be as noticeable but you still will have that child in honesty i think they probably feel if they say wait until the baby is born you will just forget about it and not mention it again. Its wrong how some treat their members but some are just not excepting of change or mistakes. i personally would pray and ask God for guidance on what to do