How do I tell people who will be upset?

[JoyRenee]

When I get pregnant, I want to tell everyone in a wonderful, creative way. BUT... I have a SIL who is bipolar and has endo and has been unsuccessful in getting preggo. I'm way younger than her and I already have had 3 pregnancies, each time she's been really upset about it.

So how can I share our blessing while being sensitive to her and her circumstances? I don't want to be deliberately hurtful towards her or insensitive to her feelings. I can see WHY she'd be upset. But how can I tell the whole family???

[LosingMyMindInGA]

You're very good with words and very sympathetic to other peoples feelings.  Just make sure that you completely udnerstand if she's upset and if she doesn't want to be closely involved.  Let her know that you didn't want to just up and shock her with this when the rest of the family was told becuase you udnerstand it's a sensitive subject for her.  i think she will greatly appreciate your caring and understanding.

[shasy03]

my DH and I had been trying for like 3 months.  We actually started trying when his brother got married.  I forgot to pack my pills so we said what the heck!  When that third month hit his brother called my DH and said I got something I need to tell you and I need you to tell Sherri.  My SIL was preggo!  They had been married less than a month when she got preggo.  They thought that I would have a fit but my MIL had the fit for me!  She could not believe it until they brought the US home.  I would agree with everyone else tell her before you tell everyone else.  I would think that would be the easiest way!

[LosingMyMindInGA]

I think telling her ahead of time on a one to one basis would be best..perhaps maybe telling her friday so that she has more time to let it sink in and decide what she wants to do.  

[JoyRenee]

Hmm... maybe I could tell her the day before I'd tell everyone else (we all get together on Sundays as a family for lunch and hanging out). I thought, when I become pregnant, that I'd bring mini cupcakes with pink and blue sprinkles as a surprise or have DH put a BUN (as in hamburger) in his mom's oven and then exclaim, "Who put this bun in the oven? Oh ME!".

I guess I could let her know the day before so that she could decide whether or not she'd want to be there. The only thing about it is she tells our other SIL EVERYTHING. She was supposed to keep our first pregnancy to herself until we were able to let everyone know privately. She went and blabbed it to the other SIL, crying and whining about it.

That really upset my other SIL (hope I'm not confusing) because she was newly pregnant herself and WE didn't tell her, someone else did.

It's so darn touchy!

[KellyA74]

that's a tough one....my best friend cannot get pregnant...her DH has no viable sperm...she's going for IVF in March and they have chosen a donor....Before my M/C I was so nervous about the time that I would have to tell her...b/c it IS such a touchy subject.......
Perhaps you could call her and personally tell her rather than doing it with the rest of the whole family??  I'm not sure that there's an easy or pain free way of doing it...It kind of stinks b/c it's such a happy time and you don't want it to cause pain to anyone!  
yeah, I would deinfately just call and tell her personally..that way at least she may feel like she's a little more "special" than the everyone else???  And as long as she's open to talking about her situation maybe you could bring it up and let her know that there is hope for her and that she needs to give your little ones a cousin to play with!