a first time mom-to-be's hopes and fears...

[hopefulLady]

Just a journal-like entry to vent my anxiety.............

My baby is officially 8 weeks and 3 days today... it seems such a long way from my BFP and the initial cramps and scare.. and yet it seems ages away from my first scan scheduled for Dec11th...
Between counting days and looking up my baby ticker at least 4 times a day.. I go through so many ups and downs.. hopes and fears... I am reading, praying, thinking, dreaming "baby" all the day!
Since I have not even had one scan till now, I have not even heard my baby's heartbeat, not even know if I have one or two babies, have no clue what day I conceived for sure, how much does the baby measure and if the baby is actually doing totally fine in there!!
Plus my lack of much of symptoms.. I no longer have much cramps.. I never had any nausea or throwing up uptil now..  I only have sore bb, back pain, fatigue, sudden sharp tugs or shooting pains in my abdomen when I get up or turn my side in bed and my tummy is bloating up and showing already.. I also have heartburn and acid reflux occasionally... Does that sound like pregnancy? Most people would say yes.. but as a first timer mom-to-be.. it freaks me out that I am not puking like the conventional pregnancies...

Yesterday I missed my folic acid+ dha suppliment.. I later realized that I had forgotten to take the folic acid capsule and felt SO VERY guilty.. I felt like I deprived my baby of the vitamin needed for the brain and nervous system!

Pregnancy is such an anxious time.. I feel like the baby is a permanent part of me already, yet so fragile and so unknown, such a mystery!
God! I am waiting n waiting for the scan and for the doc to tell me my little angel is doing well!

On one hand, I automatically start dreaming baby toes, and gurgles and gummy smiles in my arms.. and on the other hand, I sit and cross my fingers, that nothing should go wrong with my tiny angel..

Phew!!
I now know how a mother starts giving all her love and protection to the baby even before the first time the tiny heart beat begins! With this, my love and respect for my own mother has increased a million times :-)

Thank you for reading the long post.. All you ladies here have always been so supportive and educative, glad I found this site!

[BeccaLoo]

OMG am I ever glad that you wrote that because it really sums up the way I have been feeling for the last week! I am going to be a first time Mom at 6W1D and I go in on Monday for my first U/S I am scared to death...We tried for 8 months and then on the 3rd Clomid Cycle we conceived.  We have worked through so much pain and tears that if something were to happen we would be devistated.  I think that it is a normal though and reaction because as you said before your new instant reaction is to protect...Thank you for writing that it really helped to settle some of my anxiety!

[Jen133]

Your baby is fine. Just because you are not puking like every pregnancy doesn't mean your baby is healthy.  I'm 23+ weeks and I never once puked.  I understand all your concerns and worries because I went through that with my second baby, she's 6months old now and it's just wonderful.  So my advice to you is enjoy your pregnancy because once you give birth you are going to miss being pregnant.  It's just something natural that happens to most women.  

[hopefulLady]

hey.. thanks a ton for reassuring me!! I actually got tears in my eyes when I saw the first response to my post... i had been feeling so very anxious today!
But yes, I will try to enjoy my preggy time  :-) and to feel positive that my baby is doing great in there!!

[Ashelen]

What a sweet mommy-to-be you are!!!! I'm sure everything's fine and you're just doing what we all do....once you see that first scan you'll be waiting for the next one. Your pregnancy doesn't sound unconventional!!! Just unique to you :D <3 happy and healthy 9!