cant deal with it!

[pinkycaz7]

My story. I am married and been trying for a baby for over a year. Doctors starting giving us tests but last week I don't 2 tests and they said pregnant. We was over the moon,a july baby,thinking this is perfect,something we always wanted has happened.5 weeks, Fri I had brown discharge which I read could be old blood and thought ok normal. But then sat,blood,bight red. I was in pieces went to walk in centre and they are going to do a ultra scan to see what is happening. Got home and the blood turned to period like colour with cramps. I no what has happened, I have not stopped crying that I feel my eyes are not part of my body anymore. Something we have been waiting for so long has just been taken away from us. How do u get over something like this, I just can't stop crying.

I have been reading so many of your story's on here and felt like this is the only place I can talk to someone as I can't talk about it without break down face to face.

Life hay,I am such a positive person but I just feel broken.

Thank u for taking time to read this. My heart goes out to anyone who has gone through the same.


Caroline x x x x x

[SunWorshiper_26]

Lots of thoughts and prayers to you!!  I too have had a miscarriage and to this day it is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. It took me 34 months of ttc before FINALLY I am pregnant (27 weeks). But I will never forget the pain and frustration of ttc month after month year after year with no luck. And the one time we were successful it was ripped from us and left us with no faith that we would ever get pregnant again. Now that I am pregnant and this one has stuck I am over the moon. I puked for the first four months straight morning noon and night and I was just so happy bc it was pregnancy symptoms. People ask if I want a girl or boy and I don't care because I am just so darn happy to be pregnant I don't care boy or girl. People complain about pregnancy where as I am thankful for every symptom I've had bc pregnancy is a blessing. This is how you will be too. We will never forget out past. Our long and difficult journey will make us cherish pregnancy in a way no one else can.

I can't explain to you why this happens. People will say that "it will happen when you least expect it" or "everything happens for a reason" but I disagree. Bad things happen to good people and this is a horrible tragedy that you are faced with. I am so very sorry that your ttc journey is so long and full of hurt and frustration. But please know that there are so many women here on this forum who also have been through this. Many who have ttc for years many who have done fertility treatment. Many who have experienced miscarriage after miscarriage. You are not alone, we too have walked the path you are and we are all here to listen, support and encourage each other.

[gorditana]

Dear Friend,

I am sorry to read about your MC.  You are not alone dear,  last year after so much treatment I became pregnant, I was, as you put it, over the moon, dreaming about this baby, talking to my belly, choosing names, then one ultrasound revealed very faint heartbeat at week 9th, they told me to come back in a few days for another ultrasound and I agonized during those days, i talked so much to the baby as if trying to get him better with my voice, sadly when I went back for the second ultrasound there was no heartbeat, it was Christmas day 2009 when I was given the news, I could never forget it, I think I cried non stop until March, and to this day, as I write these lines my eyes are filled with tears.

You have to cry to heal, I dont think there is other way, and you have every right to cry for your loss, it is just the way it is, I dont think there is a formula to get better, other than time and the realization that there are so many others, like yourself who have experienced this terrible time in our lives.

Ever since we have tried several rounds of IUI and IVF only to get negatives, month after month.  I dont know why these things happen, but when I come into sites such as this and read the stories of others, it gives me hope, that one day it will be our lucky time, I just hope with all my heart that it comes soon, for you too.

Hugs! My thoughts are with you!

[beachbunn1986]

im very sorry for your loss. going through m/c is very hard  iv had 4 m/c and am trying for baby  #2  ( i have a 3yr old son)      there are some days i cant get out of bed my last m/c was on my birthday  it feels like it happened yesterday.  you will feel raw for awhile take your time grievng , to help with my grieving process i named each one of my babys  i didnt know the sex of each one but had a gut feeling as to there gender. and buried them. the bleeding is the worst  its a constant reminder that your no longer pregnant.  i wish i had something that wuld majically bring your baby back but i dont i can only tell you that as awful and depressed as you feel now it will get easier to get through the dys i promise-  i  believe your baby is in heaven watching over you and when you look in the sky at the sunset  you'll feel your little angels pesence my thoughts and prayers are with you. this may be a bit of helpful info  almost every women will have a m/c in her lifetime so perhaps the next time things will be fine   you can ask your doc to do blood work to make sure everything is going the way its suppossed to have your progestrum checked that can cause m/c.  im 24 and no one knows why this is happening its extremely frustrating.   again im very sorry for yur loss  if yu want to chat just send me a note or msg.        

[PetiteWonder]

Im so sorry for your loss. It is devestating.   i foudn out I had a blighted ovum when I went for a "12" week ultrasound.   I had no bleeding or cramps so  it was quite shocking.  It never helps to hear it at first but miscarriages are more common than you think.  We dont hear about them because people do not talk about them.  It is almost as if you need to experience a miscarriageto actually learn who has had them.

I know a girl who had a very healthy first pregnancy, and then announced she was pregnant around the same time as me...  Only to find out recently when she asked about my pregnancy and Itold her it ended, that she actually had two miscarriages in between her first child and this pregnancy... She is around 30 weeks now. But I had no idea that she had gone throught that.

It is still hard. It has been two months and I am going to start "not protecting" myself against pregnancy again but it does get better. I am really sorry you had to go through this

[pinkycaz7]

I have just read all your story's and lovely words of advice and I am thanking u. U have all made me cry to think u all took time to wright something, words of encouragement and I am thanking u.
I never knew how common having a MC is until I joined this site. I don't no what to do now,I just feel numb.
Wanting something for so long and then having it took away is heartbreaking.
I just only hope there is light at the end of the tunnel.
I am still bleeding but not much,just feels like I am having a normal period. I am so lucky I never told anyone as could not face them.
I am seeing the doctor again 2mora to see what next step is, see if everything has gone, I feel empty. I guess I have to get on with my normal life and the secret I once had is no longer ture.

Will keep u posted on what doctor does 2mora. Let's hope everything goes back to normal and I can just deal with the loss.......

Loving u all

Caroline x x

[SunWorshiper_26]

Good luck at the dr tomorrow. You will be in my thoughts!  I also felt numb for awhile afterwards numb and then angry at G-d. It took some time but I just kept putting one foot in front of the other and eventually I was able to make it through my every day life activities without wanting to cry or run and hide. But I did spend the first few days in bed watching movies and eating junk food with my husband. We turned off our phones called in sick to work and just spent time together. That really helped to take that time to be sad and be sad together. I think in the end it brought us closer together. I do not wish a miscarriage on my worst enemy. It's horrible worst thing that has ever happened to me.

There is also a miscarriage forum I believe. I hear ladies talking about it and how helpful it has been for them. You should talk to the ladies there too. Dont leave this forum though cuz I'll miss you and I want updates :). Plus you will need this forum bc you will get your BFP and it will stick and you will have a baby!  

A friend of mine actually had to miscarriages and then got pregnant with twins. So she lost two and then gained two. Life has a funny way of working out and hopefully you won't experience another miscarriage ever ever ever again.

I'll also post on here an article i found about ttc after miscarriage.

[SunWorshiper_26]

Here's the article


New Pregnancy Study

by SunWorshiper_26, Oct 12, 2010 02:47PM
 
Research Briefs from The Parent Review
No wait needed for pregnancy after miscarriage


For the best pregnancy outcomes, when should a woman try to conceive again after a miscarriage? The sooner the better, a new study suggests. Scottish researchers looked at data for nearly 31,000 women who became pregnant after an initial miscarriage. Compared to women who conceived 6 to 12 months after their miscarriage, those who became pregnant again within 6 months were 34% less likely to miscarry a second time. They were also less likely to have an ectopic pregnancy, a cesarean or preterm delivery, or a low-birth-weight infant. The highest risks of a second miscarriage and other pregnancy complications were seen among women who conceived more than 24 months after miscarriage. The findings run contrary to current guidelines by the World Health Organization to wait at least half a year to conceive after having a miscarriage, which affects approximately one in five pregnancies.

Source: British Medical Journal 341 (2010): c3967.

[Cassandrajane]

I am sorry for your loss. But there is hope!
I got pregnant the SAME WEEK as my miscarriage in April this year! I will be 8 months pregnant next week. so there is hope!!


Dont give up!! :)

Also,
advice that gets me through everything.
'Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened'

x

[needhelp24121]

I'm so sorry that you are going throught this. I too never realized how many people suffer m/c until I found this site. I found out I was pregnant in June, first pregnancy and not really trying just not preventing. My husband and I were so very excited, we decided that we would wait to tell everyone until after the first ultrasound. Unfortunately, in July, I had my m/c, I felt exactly the same as you. I even lost all hope in God for a while. I just couldn't understand how he could just take the baby away from us. To me, it felt like he realized he made a mistake in letting me get pregnant so soon and took it back, no baby for me and my husband. Since we never told anyone about the pregnancy, we also didn't tell anyone about the m/c. This site hepled me out a lot, I could talk to the ladies on here, and they knew exactly how I was feeling and offered words of encouragement. It has now been four months since the m/c and we still haven't told anyone, we aren't sure if we ever will. We have decided we are ready to try again. Again, I'm sorry you are going through this, and if you ever need to, you can message me.