click

[mumsy1977]

THE THING IV REALISED ABOUT THIS FORUM IS THAT IF YOUR IN THE "CLICK" YOUR QUESTIONS GET ANSWRED IF NOT THEN YOU GOT NO CHANCE OF HEARING ANYTHING WHILE I REALISE SOME OF THE POSTS ARE TO DO ITH PREGNACY OTHER STUFF ISNT BUT THEN STILL THERE QS GET ANSWERD !!!!! I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND IV POSTED 3MAYBE 4 QS NOW AND DELETED THEM AS NOONE SEEMED INTERESTED THE ONLY POST ANYONE COMMENTED ON WAS THE BFP  SO GO GIVE YOURSELVS A HUG AND HAVE FUN IGNORING ALL THE OTHERS THAT ARE NOT IN THE "CLICK"

[LauraB78]

I think you are right in assuming that "clique's" happen this forum. I think it's mostly because some members are on here often and others are not. I am sorry you had unanswered questions. I would be happy to help with anything I can. I don't think you were overlooked intentionally, I just think some members end up super comfortable with other like-minded members that frequent this forum. Again, I am sorry you felt ignored. I am sure that wasn't any members intention.

[Megs2girls7]

I too am sorry you feel this way but I do understand as this is how I felt when I first joined and had some unanswered questions. I know this forum gets pretty busy. You might want to try reposting.

[vacuumprincess]

I am so sorry your questions went un answered.  I have noticed there are busier times than others....  If I post on a weekend, I get less answers than during the week.

I myself, skip over posts that I do not know the answers to.  I would have answered, (if I saw them.... I'm not on everyday anymore...)  perhaps no one knew the answer that day.

have you tried reposting or "bumping" your answer up to the top?  I myself, have never been a "clique" type of girl. .... Always the one on the outskirts, but I have NEVER felt unwelcome here.  
I am so sorry you felt this way.  I know how it feels.

[alaysha]

I don't think people try to intentionally be clique-ish. But some of us have been here years (myself going on 4 years) and you tend to make friends or see people on here for a while that have just had the worst time of it so if they and worried you tend to try to sooth them first because you know how had they've been trying and all the background info of every heartbreaking. I use my cell most of the time to check the posts and if someone asks a question that I think is depressing or I've answered a million times already or think my opinion wouldn't be valued on I tend to skip it. I refuse to answer "am I pregnant" posts anymore since they are all repetitve. Best thing to do when you have a question and are waiting for an answer is to check the search engine for medhelp to see what answers other people have gotten with similar questions. That will help with time and hopefully when you check on your post someone have responded. If it gets too far down on the list comment on your own post to bump it back to the top. I'm sorry you we're feeling ignored. Like I said I've been here almost 4 years and I still feel that way sometimes.

[Spiket77]

I hear ya. This has happened to me too. I have had a few go unanswered too. I was disappointed too. But, I don't think it was a deliberate boycott on my posts. At least I would hope not! I also think it would be strange if their were clicks here. That seems kind of sad to me. If there are clicks... I would advise they need to get off the computer and join a mommy group or something. HA!

I don't comment on posts that I don't feel like I have a good answer for or if they are inflammatory opinionated posts.

Message me your questions anytime. I will answer you!

[cnhauk]

I know exactly what you mean. I've kind of shied away from the forum for that reason. You put in a lot of effort to make "friends" and share with people, and you get nothing in return. It's exhausting. This forum is supposed to be here to help people who have questions, concerns, fears, etc, and it's kind of expected to have them answered. So if/when they aren't, its frustrating.

I hope you are able to find something that works for you throughout your pregnancy and you can get the answers you need!

[cnhauk]

Also, I don't think it's intentional, but people on here definitely tend to jump at the questions posted by people they "know" and skip past the ones they don't. Whatever the reason is, the end result is the same: your questions aren't being answered.

[Ashelen]

Ladies I'm very sorry that you feel like you're being ignored.

Very often if your posts are unanswered, it's because they simply were not seen and made it to the bottom of the page or because few people were on here. I'm a regular member and I ALWAYS try to answer what posts I can, no matter who is asking them. There are plenty of times that friends of mine have asked questions and I haven't answered simply because I have no answer, and that applies to all types of questions.

I for one am a little hurt that you targeted my "give yourself a hug" post. I intended that to be for EVERYONE, new, old, whatever, and it's a bit unfair to target me in that way. You were just as included in that post as anyone else, and more than welcome to post.


This feeling of not being included is the EXACT reason that I have started doing "daily topic" posts...so that everyone can feel a part of the community. If you want to be included, you have to include yourself.

If you feel like a question is being ignored, enter into the comment space on your own post "*bump*" and see if that doesn't help.

Please feel free to contact me with any complaints, or one of the moderators. Airing them in the forum is not the best way to handle this, but I understand your feelings are hurt and I apologize that you felt ignored.

Sincerely and with best regards,
-Co-CL Ashelen

[hiltonvslohan]

HI, Im new here as well. 18 weeks and 2 days pregnant. IF ya ever wanna talk just let me know. Ill help in all ways I can :)
-Dakota

[mumsy1977]

HEY HOWS YOU DOING THANKS FOR THE BAK UP :) I THINK I SAID SOMETHING THAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE FEELING TOO AND ITS NICE THAT IM NOT ON MY OWN IN THE WAY AM FEELING IV GOT A LOT ON MY MIND AND IVE ASKED THE SAME QUESTION IN DIFF WAYS A FEW TIMES AND ITS STILL BEEN IGNORED BUT I HOPE YOU NO HAT YOU GOT A FRIEND IN ME IF YOU NEED AN ONLINE BUDDY AL DO MY BEST KEEP SMILING :)

[Djan2011]

I've noticed this before too and wanted to say something but didnt know how to go about it. it's happened yo me quite a few times where only one or two people reply. but then other people post things that are random or not about pregnancy and get so many replies. and it is very frustrating! Im sorry you're questions didnt get answered. and i'll admit im not on here much but when i am i try to reply to others posts if i have any kind of helpful input. if you ever want to talk you can pm me!

[chantal21]

Sometimes, questions can get missed. Boy, there are TONS of times my posts get skipped over but I also remember that it depends on when you posted it, and sometimes you need to *bump* up your post if it hasn't been answered. We are not doctors or experts, just women looking for support and help or experience from others. Some of us are capable of helping more than others are. I try my best to look through all of the posts and answer the ones that I can or had experience with. I don't think anyone here is ignoring you intentionally. I am very sorry you feel this way. I am happy to answer any questions you may have, if I am able to help!! I have been here for almost 4 years now, had to leave for a while because my child was sick, and I see tons of new people and I have been making new friends along the way again! I really hope that your questions can be answered and that you feel welcome here! =)

[mumsy1977]

THANKS FOR YOUR COMMENT TOO AND THE ABOVE POST APPLIES TO YOU TOO IF YA NEED AN ONLINE BUDDY AL DO MY BEST FOR YOU AND ANSWER ANY QS :)


TO EVERYONE ELSE
I FEEL LIKE PEOPLE SAW THIS POST AND THEN LOOKED AT MY OTHER POST AND ANSWERED IT OUT OF PITY! I DONT NEED YOUR PITY I WANTED ADVICE AND ALTHO I GOT SOME I WOULD OF PREFERRED IT TO HAVE BEEN COS PEOPLE WANTED TO ANSWER IT NOT BECAUSE THEY FELT THEY HAD TO  BUT THANX ANYWAY

[vacuumprincess]

the random questions about relationships & such get lots of replies because ANYONE can answer them.  You don't have to be pregnant, been pregnant or any of that to answer that stuff...  everyone can get involved.  I didn't get it at first either.  I thought this forum was black & white.  either you were pregnant or trying.  that is not the case at all.  If you just have an intrest in pregnancy, been pregnant, trying, not trying, have grown children.... it doesn't matter.  Everyone has knowledge that can be passed on.

pregnancy, ttc or parenting questions take some sort of background knowledge on the specific topic that not everyone has.  I doubt your postswere intentionally ignored.  I have asked questions & gotten tons of responses.  I have also asked & gotten none.  sometime is it the subject that no body knows about.

like I stated before... timing is a big thing.  If nobody is around that knows the answer... bump it to the top later on.  

[Djan2011]

That's a really good point the random questions about relationships & such get lots of replies because ANYONE can answer them."  so i guess i was being selfish thinking people should know what im going through and how to help or hat i should do. lol Thank you for pointing that out! now i feel kind of silly

[vacuumprincess]

no one Has to answer anything. We only answer because we WANT to.  Nobody is getting paid to answer(I don't think).  The answers came because others WANTED to help you with your questions. Perhaps others looked to see what you asked because the missed it before.  I don't think there is any pity.

I have been off here quite a bit because of the holiday( in US here).  I have been really busy & not on med help, so that is wht I missed it I'm sure.  I also did not look up your posts, cause I thought you said you deleeted them???

[SunWorshiper_26]

I just answered one of your posts but I hadn't read this post yet I just came to it as I was going through and answering posts. Now I'm reading this one an I see that your last post had many comments. I think that with your last post because you were asking if anyone else had gone through it that many won't post bc they haven't been through it.

Anytime I'm on here i answer as many posts as I can. I'm on my cell so I can't immediately tell who has even asked the question but then again it doesn't matter. I answer if I know the answer if I notice someone hasn't answered and the person posted a while ago i try and post that I don't know but I did read it that way they don't feel ignored.

You have to remember too that the last week was hectic for most bc of the holiday. But I don't think that it is fair of you to say that people are doing this to you on purpose. I'm no click kind of girl never have been never will be and I always treat others how i would want to be treated and I think that is very important in this forum!

[mumsy1977]

then shouldnt that be on a diff forum as im posting PREGNANCY18-34 and thought people entered the forum either full of knowladge or wanting answers in that department

[Ashelen]

No, this forum is welcome for all topics. We prefer that the topics stay related to pregnancy, TTC, or childbirth but we aren't going to turn people away for posting "O/T" (off topic) because they are members here and deserved respect and communication as well.

While yes, most of our members have a good knowledge of pregnancy or related topics, that doesn't mean we have ALL the answers.

I tried to contact you to discuss this in private. If you do not want to talk to me, please contact a moderator to discuss your concerns.

-Ashelen

[vacuumprincess]

I just saw your good egg bad egg post because it got bumped to the top.

At first I wasn't going to answer, because I went through that situation at 13 weeks last year & it didn't end well.  then I decided to post, because you wanted answers.

I understand how angry you are right now 7 how your emotions are all over the place.  You seem mad at everyone & I understand.  believe me, I understand.  go ahead & let it all out.  yell, scream, shout, cuss anything you want.  it may help it may not....
but perhaps itwould be better suited for in a journal... rhen those who want to read & comment will see it on a side bar & not feel like it is a threat directed at them specifically.

[ammanda]

I agree with Ashelen, the posters who comment on here with OT(off topic) posts are because they have been here for awhile and they trust in these ladies to answer them.  Any one is welcome to post here, we have had this problem before about someone thinking we shouldnt be able to post in here if its not pregnancy related.  But no matter what its gonna happen you cant prevent it.

I think you took this too personally, next time your question doesnt get answered enough for you, simply comment on it yourself with a Bump* and it will bring it back up to the top for others to see.  and you also gotta get on here at the right time.  Mostly in the mornings is when everyone is on more on week days..  and it is the holiday season so not many people are on right now.. i have not seen your post yet, because i just signed in and this was the first post, but if i can help and have any knowledge on your topic I will be sure to help you in any way.

I also hope you arnt to offended and hurt, and plan to stay here.  

[mumsy1977]

now it seems iv got my point across not only for me but some of the other girls that backed me up it seems iv offended some people by talking bout my prob so to all who answed to this thankyou and sorry at the same time i do plan on sticking around  and hope that people will not avoid me bc i spoke up ,ive been having a really tuff time this week and hoped id get answers today from the hospital but as i dindnt i thought i could get a little backup on here and yes i was a little impatient and decided to sound off at everyone over it i hope you can undertand where im coming from as you people are the only people who know bout my pregnancy as i didnt want to tell anyone for this reasonand you are the only ones i can ask about it my partner doesnt know what to do or say to me i really am sorry ladies thanx xx

[ammanda]

Dont even worry about it hun, you have every right to express how your feeling, and we understand. this is a hard time in your life and we all know that feeling.. I am sorry you felt ignored during this time.  and if i can help I will anytime.

[mumsy1977]

sorry!! and i got your messages but i felt i needed to let everyone no my feelings on this forum then they would realise just how it seems and by the feedback  i got on here im sure i just got people all wrong and hope we can all be freinds equally thanx