Aa
parenting tip I live by!
Your children should FEAR you, LOVE you, and RESPECT you. It will get you far and your relationship with your kids will strong and healthy. In fact this works with any child teaching full time this is my go to guide and as long as I instill these 3 emotions they will always come to me first. No wonder all the mommies look at me like deer in head lights, they're lucky if they can get the kiddos to nap and I've got them cleaning up after themselves, using their manners, and doing what they're told without repeating myself. Yes I had to toot my own horn for a moment I just love my job and how awesome I am at it!
I love hearing how well behaved my daughter is and the how'd you do it? Simple. I love her for better, for worse, forever and she knows that. She also knows I will not tolerate disrespect or misbehavior. If she is asked to do something, it means now. Because she knows I do everything I can for her, she returns the favor. She has her moments, as all kids do, but one look gets my point across. She actually asks me if she can help do housework and cook, because I've tried to instill a teamwork attitude in her. And I've been a single mom since she was 1, so it has not been easy. She is looking forward to being a big sister and is going to be a great one. Praise goes a long way. I tell her everyday how proud I am of her, so she strives to earn good words. She is amazing and I'm grateful everyday for my girl and her kind heart. :)
That's wonderful you got very lucky to have such a cooperative daughter! I commend parents when they are good parents by no means am I saying that my way is the only way there are plenty other ways that work for all kinds of families. I'm basically stating this is how things work for me because I am often asked how I get them to behave or do things without being asked to. If you have your kids under control that's an accomplishment any mommy should be proud of.
i have a 3yr old....i have chosen to raise her by talking to her...i try to explain things to her...she is VERY well behaved and listens well...she is FANTASTIC and always has been. i have taught her to RESPECT people, LOVE people, and treat people with kindness...I told her you can not make friends if you are mean. She is very helpful around the house too and WANTS to help. she LOVES me soooo much and listens very well....and i am proud of her.
i disagree with the FEAR part...theres a difference between being the PARENT/Authority...and then theres having them be Fearful of their parents....
I think children should learn Love, Respect, and Honesty and learn MORALS.
Fear is a definant NO
I think children should learn Love, Respect, and Honesty and learn MORALS.
Fear is a definant NO
I agree mckee513, I don't spank at all, because time out, toys taken away, etc. is much more lasting than a temporary pain, I teach him not to hit me so I can't hit him when he doesn't listen!
Mckee I totally was the same way when I was younger. My parents being disappointed in me was more painful than an *** whooping so I always thought of what I was going to say or do beforehand. Not everyone agrees with my motto but it works for me and a lot of others which I think is great. I like that I know children don't dare disrespect or misbehave me or any other adult when I implement these values.
My tip don't count 1,2,3.... Start at 5 and watch them scramble to get whatever it ia done before you hit one. I've never gone to one truthfully I have no idea what I would do at one they just know when I count mommy ain't playin. Oh and we don't spank we don't have to use violence to instill respect
I agree. The worst thing my mom could say was that I dissapointed her. Stab me in the heart pain. Kids are out of control.these days its horrible. My boys 11 and 6 yrs old respect and fear me. I know they think what would mom say/think/do of I did this. We need to raise our kids the way way we were raised. To many spoiled brats out there. Watching melt downs in a store almost makes me laugh. Parents fault unless there is an underlying mental health problem.
I'm with ya on the fear thing. Lol let's not take it soon rationally ladies. As long as you yes consistently discipline your kids(so they fear the consequences of their actions) but play more often than not and I mean get in there and play not send then out to play. Your kids will love and respect you for sure. I don't beat my kids but I have no patience for disrespect or ridiculous behaviour.
Yeah I dont entirely agree with your tip either. It never got my parents anywhere good I resented them as a kid too. I had a better family with my friends than I did with my parents because of the same tip. We've mended obviously, but they dont use that stuff with my kids. My five yr old has Autism and my 2 yr old needs evaluated at the children's hospital, but I dont instill that teaching into them. If it works for you guys then good but it doesnt for everyone and those it doesnt work for still have decent and well behaved kids that go far.
Baby2 that's so great! I'm glad your child is mature enough to reflect your actions.
Love and respect yes! Fear no, and I get what some of your definitions of fear is, but really it's not the right word to use.. I have a five yr old so I do know a little of what I'm talking about I'm also in school for early childhood education and eventually I'm going into special education. Alot of the problems with parent child relationships isn't that the kid is spoiled and the parent isn't strict enough it's that the parents have no credibility with their children they don't stick to the consequences of the child's actions, and without consistency you will always have problems.. If a child knows each and every time what is going to happen they tend to make the right choices and that even goes for little kids as young as a year old. The strict thing can turn into a bad thing when the kid gets older more often than not they will rebel. The trick is being firm without being authoritarian. Parents need to decide what rules and values are important to them in their family and be consistent with them. Another excellent tip I've learned is to take action rather than reminding n arguing with the child I.E. a toy needs to be removed just psychically remove it without a big production and explaining it to death.. The kid already knows.. Sorry if this is long I can't help it there is just so much one could talk about on the subject, but I'll leave it alone at this..
I guess I too agree, I was a lead teacher in the 2 year old room in the daycare I worked at, then the preschool room, I have a 2 year old of my own and am expecting my second child. LOVE is the most important in my eyes, then RESPECT. I have never told my daughter NO. instead I use words like "no thank you" and instead of telling her what I don't like about her actions, I tell her what I would like her to do instead. (ex. if she is standing on the couch I would never say "get down" I would say "please put your feet on the floor") this is my way of showing her the respect she deserves and in return she shows every one around her tons of respect. every one looks at me like im crazy when I talk to her so nicely while she is misbehaving, but it works and I will do the exact same thing with my son. this has also brought me a lot of respect from my boss. I am a nanny and in the 6 months I have worked with his children he has seen dramatic improvement in their behavior and completely eliminated any yelling in his house hold and he loves it
I agree, it's not fear like child abuse fear, it's a fear of discipline. I get from my mom and her boyfriend that I'm so strict, well no, my son won't eat a ton of candy before dinner, or ask someone else for something when I told him no, or sneak and eat candy or sneak a toy off when he knows he's not supposed to, and my moms boyfriends granddaughter is TERRIBLE, she bites, kicks, punches, and screams constantly.. she's 2. Someday my son will respect me for being strict, and someday he'll be grateful I did it, and he's going to make it far, sounds like all of our little ones will! :)
Its not fear like u would scare the crap out of em! Its fear as in... I know I shouldnt do that.. my mom would be really dissapointed if I did. Its a respect fear. My 4 year old would NEVER make a scene in public or even at home because she knows I wont put up with it. She fears and knows a punishment will take place! There is definitely a difference in a child having some room to learn and running the show. So yes! Amen to all you mommas with ur head on straight!!!!
Thumbs up to you ladies dealing with the behavioral imbalances it can be so tough I tip my hat to you :)
My 10 yr old has behavioral issues, he is ADD with ODD and those things are NOT the fault of the parent or parenting style. Oprah is right professional help is the only way. Its what I've had to do and let me tell you its a night and day difference in my son.
That's a problem I see a lot too. It can be tough to parent seperately especially when contradicting is going on. As long as your doing the right things at home you have the upper hand and the stronger relationship
Nicole. Behavioral issues occur in some cases that aren't controlled by parents and it takes professional help. Don't feel bad about that
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