36 yr old daughter living with Dad

[yourit]

My boyfriend is 56. His adult daughter works part-time and lives at home. She has never left home. She got pregnant at 18 and her and her son just stay with Dad. The boy is now in late high school and also living with my boyfriend with the daughter.  When my boyfriend and I talk about our future, he talks about retiring soon and going on vacation with me and doing more things together, but he assumes we will continue living in seperate homes and he will continue to be with his daughter. He said he knows that the arrangement he has makes it difficult to keep a girlfriend, but he doesn't seem to clue in that he can actually do something about it. He did say once that maybe I could move in with them sometime down the road and all live together. I certainly didn't see my retirement like this. I would like to be with someone, just me and them and have the kids come home to visit, like I see other families doing. I have kids, but they are independent and don't mooch off me. If they fell on hard times, I'd be willing to help out or even let them stay temporarily. You never stop being a parent, but I know that they like myself, expect to live independent and support themselves. My boyfriend has indicated that he wished his daughter would marry her boyfriend of six years, but she has never indicated that she would like to do so or get married and has said she has  no intention of moving out. He gives her mixed messages, too. I have heard him. He will tell her that he needs her to help around the house and the property and then say she really needs to find someone to settle down with. He has had two long term relationships before me that ended over this problem. I have only been going out with him three months and although I like him and he is good to me, I have my doubts. Any thoughts.

[Londres70]

Absolutely agree with Tink as always.  

Your doubts have been validated.  

There are red flags all over this situation.  

Find someone in the situation that YOU want to be in from the start.  

[TTinKKerBBell]

Pay attention to what You are seeing here.   The writing is on the wall.  You already know all You need to know.  This is not going to change just because You want it to.