Aa
Advice anyone ?
I need advice, ever since I moved in with my bf which was back in April everything was ok, we would argue here and there but he would still give me attention, I'm 18 and he's 20 all he does is play video games, I'm 18 weeks pregnant and this is our first, lately we don't have sex and honestly with all do respect he's a minute man so I'm not missing out on anything really but I would still like for him to want me you know, and cuddle with me, tell me he loves me, be more affectionate with me and I don't get none of that it *****, we barely even talk during the day because he's basically on his ps3 playing or talking on the phone with his guy friend while playing, sometimes I wanna tell him what's up but I get scared, becuz there's been times were I opened up to him and he'd get mad saying that I'm overly emotional so I tend to stay quite, I'm actually the one to give him more attention it's so hard to grab his attention, back when we didn't live with each other we only got to see eachother during the weekends and that was awesome cuz we both anticipated and were excited but now that we see eachother every day it's like oh hi... And I hate that :/ any advice to grab his attention I really love him and I don't wanna break up, but this relationship is ****** up I mean he also has a lock on his phone but he has unlocked it infront of me but I refuse to look cuz knowing me when he's asleep imma want to check his phone so to avoid any arguments I don't.. I also have a lock on my phone and he dosnt know my lock and that's just how it is ..
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there. Well, I'm sorry you are feeling so distant from him. That stinks. I know that it is hard to talk about these things especially if the other person is not open to looking within to make their partner happy or just wants to do their own thing. And unfortunately, I think that is what you've got here. A guy that is not all that interested in being a total unit with you. This is tricky because you want him to be (and that is the way a relationship will go long term), you're pregnant, and it is kind of scary to determine if a guy is going to be a life partner or just selfishly have you around without trying to have a real relationship. I think you long for a real relationship.
And you are a smart lady. You're having a baby. A good dad isn't their own separate unit doing as they please when they are a family person. He needs to wean himself off that gaming stuff and start helping out, spending time, etc. If you don't get him to understand this now, it is going to be really hard after the baby comes which changes EVERYTHING. You will grow resentful pretty quick if he goes on about his business and you are left doing everything. Alone.
We shouldn't feel lonely in a relationship and that is what you need to talk to him about. If he says you are being emotional then ask him to please not minimize your feelings. Because you are talking about things that are going to lead to a successful, happy relationship. Grown ups are open to hearing their partner and he needs to be open to your feelings and THINK about what he can do differently to make his partner, you, happy. Relationships are give and take. He has to give!!
It's scary to rock the boat and 'go there' with someone when you know they can be resistant. But he'll ALWAYS treat you this way until you've had enough and the relationship is over. As you two are going to be parents together, you have to help him understand that you aren't asking anything more at this point than for him to be invested in the relationship enough to connect with you.
And yeah, you need to mention that when the baby is here, you'll need him to be more available to help with the baby, to help you feel cared for as well, etc. I really hope he comes through for you hon!!
As to the phone, mine defaults to a locked screen and so does my husbands. Neither of us have passcodes to the other phone. No one has ever asked the other for it. It's kind of a nonissue for us. If you suspect he's doing something like communicating in an inappropriate way with another women, this is hard as well. Trust is one of the foundational pieces of a relationship.
Wishing you all the best hon. Always here if you need anything! peace
And you are a smart lady. You're having a baby. A good dad isn't their own separate unit doing as they please when they are a family person. He needs to wean himself off that gaming stuff and start helping out, spending time, etc. If you don't get him to understand this now, it is going to be really hard after the baby comes which changes EVERYTHING. You will grow resentful pretty quick if he goes on about his business and you are left doing everything. Alone.
We shouldn't feel lonely in a relationship and that is what you need to talk to him about. If he says you are being emotional then ask him to please not minimize your feelings. Because you are talking about things that are going to lead to a successful, happy relationship. Grown ups are open to hearing their partner and he needs to be open to your feelings and THINK about what he can do differently to make his partner, you, happy. Relationships are give and take. He has to give!!
It's scary to rock the boat and 'go there' with someone when you know they can be resistant. But he'll ALWAYS treat you this way until you've had enough and the relationship is over. As you two are going to be parents together, you have to help him understand that you aren't asking anything more at this point than for him to be invested in the relationship enough to connect with you.
And yeah, you need to mention that when the baby is here, you'll need him to be more available to help with the baby, to help you feel cared for as well, etc. I really hope he comes through for you hon!!
As to the phone, mine defaults to a locked screen and so does my husbands. Neither of us have passcodes to the other phone. No one has ever asked the other for it. It's kind of a nonissue for us. If you suspect he's doing something like communicating in an inappropriate way with another women, this is hard as well. Trust is one of the foundational pieces of a relationship.
Wishing you all the best hon. Always here if you need anything! peace
We've been together for 2 years and a half * btw
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