sleeping with a good friends brother...would that be wrong?!

[msbk]

Hi guys!

I love going to thread bc of the great advice. Now I'm 25...26 in a few weeks! a college graduate in the process of applying to go back to school to obtain my masters. Now I have a good friend who has a brother who is much older than. He's 15 years older than me to be exact. My friend is my age.I have known him as long as I've known his sister so for like 7yrs.  Mind you I'm single and so is he. I only see him obviously if I'm hanging with his sister and she invites him out. We might talk on twitter here and there. Well, recently her brother and I have been talking more..exchanged numbers...no biggie. Well, she had a b-day recently and he was there and of course we were all drinking and him and I were talking and flirting with each other. Every since than he's been texting me and calling me. Now this man is attractive...very attractive for his age. He doesn't look his age..very fit and has a lot of youth to him. Well, one of our convos ended being a little sexual...and it made me wonder what sex with an older man would be like. The real question here is if I slept with her brother would that be a bad thing? I wouldn't tell my friend and he wouldn't tell his sister. I mean we are both adults and both single...so we wouldn't be hurting anyone. I just want real honest advice here. Would it really be bad if I slept with my friends older brother?

[Londres70]

Well.....just skimmed your other posts.  I would sincerely hope you change your view about "friends with benefits/booty calls."  

[Londres70]

"We both have somewhat of a interest in each other, but like I said Im realistically not trying to date this man...there is to big of an age gap for us to enter into a relationship."..........It's ok to sleep with this older man (if it happens), but you wouldn't have a relationship with him because of the age difference?  I am sorry, but that doesn't make much sense to me.

I do find it odd you want to keep this on the dL (down low).  I am not sure if you are ashamed of wanting to only sleep with your friend's brother and don't want her to know that you are wanting to do this OR you don't want anyone knowing you are having or wanting to have sex with this older guy in fear of what they will think or both situations apply.......purely guessing though.

Well......your decision about what to do with this.  

[Life360_Dave]

Hi MSBK, i think is just fine to date him. You might find older men more interesting and at least have some financial security. (But dont use him). I think the problem with the replys that are bothering you is that you are revealing some of your fanticies, like the sexual references. Your perking everyones ears up with this type of revelation. When you make this type of working, its kinding of leading towards a sexual encounter only, Your posts starts with asking this so we all think its about sex only.
Your ok

[specialmom]

Hi, thanks for the correction.  I, of course, can only go on what you write here.  Sounded like you had already mapped out a  strictly sexual relationship with the brother of a friend behind her back.  That is curious to me.  It's a big world out there and knowing you'd have to keep the whole thing secret seems an odd thing to do to me.  But you now say you are just keeping your options open even though the option of dating isn't a realistic one.  

I think you've gotten great advice from those who commented here.  Ultimately, you'll have to do what seems best for you.  good luck

[msbk]

Specialmom: I'm not seeking badly to have sex w this man as u claim. If it happens it happens if it doesn't no biggie. There is no thrill seeking behind this to correct u.

Anyway, I can see where many of u all r coming from ...esp concerning feelings and bits of awkwardness possibly happening. We both have somewhat of a interest in each other, but like I said Im realistically not trying to date this man...there is to big of an age gap for us to enter into a relationship.

Like I said I was just seeking out diff opinions on the subject. Thanx ladies.

[RockRose]

I agree with the other.  I don't see anything at all wrong with having a relationship with a friend's brother - there's nothing immoral there.

I don't think casual sex is ever a good idea,  and certainly not secret casual sex.  

If you want to have a relationship with him,  great!  Otherwise,  someone is going to get hurt and misunderstood.

[TTinKKerBBell]

I agree with Londres70

Your answer sounds as though You would tell Your Friend if You were dating Her Brother, but You don't want to tell Her You want Him only as a "friend with benefits"? That tells me You think Your Friend might not approve of casual sex, Brother or no.  If that's the case, I agree with Friend/Sister.

[specialmom]

I agree with Londres.  I don't quite get this.  And because you want so badly to have casual sex behind her back with her brother, I wonder if the fact that this is  your friend's brother if this isn't part of the thrill.  This worries me about  you a bit.  

Why create a potentially awkward situation as well.  So you sleep togehter and he thinks you are horrible in bed or you think he is and it is a bad experience.  And then you have to see him at her house when you stop over to give her a Christmas gift?  Or, what if you LOVE it and you want to do it again and he doesn't, so he essentially rejects you.  Then you have to see him and his new girlfriend when you pick her up to go out for the evening.  ETc.  Lots of scenarios that casual sex just isn't worth here.

If you had a crush on him and you two were contemplating starting to date, then I'd say go for it.  But just to sleep together, no.  Not worth it.  good luck

[Londres70]

Well......I would never recommend sleeping with someone just for "pure curiousity" especially your best friend's brother.  NOW, if you wanted to establish a relationship with her brother and then sleep with him......don't see a thing wrong with that.  

The "friends with benefits" is NEVER a good thing IMO.  You are ASKING for problems if you are trying to do this.

Sleeping with people casually nowadays......hmmmm, just isn't smart.

[msbk]

Well, I wouldn't tell my friend bc I'm not trying to date her brother. It seriously would be like a friends with benefits thing with him and I. What would I say to her "hey, girl I'm thinking of sleeping with your bro" lol...I didn't think it was necessary. Now, if him and I were seriously trying to date and enter into a relationship I would of course tell her than.

[TTinKKerBBell]

You say "You are Both adults" (I agree), and "You are Both single" (I agree)....and "You wouldn't be hurting AnyOne" (I agree)
so,
why would You keep this secret from Your Friend, His Sister, if You both feel You are single adults and wouldn't be hurting AnyOne?  I'm curious.

[RainLover71]

This is up to you and the brother--it has nothing to do with your friend--his sister.Always be safe and use protection if you are going to be intimate.