lying about porn

[gypsyqueen11]

I have continuously caught my boyfriend looking at porn and he always lies about it.  I have told him I would watch it with him and don't care if he watches it himself.  I watch porn sometimes and like to do it solo.  Anyhow, its that he lies about it and is driving me insane.  I am trying to be rational, I understand he finds others attractive but cannot get over the feeling of betrayal, esp. with the lies.  I feel I've became obsessivly mad and dont want to confront it more than I already do as not to sound prude.  I am not.  Any ideas?

[specialmom]

Yes, you do seem to be conflicted on the issue.  No one wants to be lied to and once someone is lying about one thing, we naturally have to assume there are other 'secrets'.  Since you've tried telling him that you are open to porn (whether you really are or not), there must be some reason that compels him to lie.  Do you think he doesn't believe you?  

Anyway, people are entitled to feel how they do about porn, for or against it.  I would say that if you don't mind him watching for real, I wouldn't look at it like he thinks others are attractive.  Is porn really about that?  He likes watching others have sexual activity.  That is it.  

But, dead honest here.  If I had a boyfriend that lied to me a lot while dating, I'd end the relationship.  No matter what they lie about.  It doesn't bode well for the future.  good luck

[RockRose]

gypsyqueen,  you are saying two different things.

First,  you say you don't care that he watches porn,  you do too and you do it alone.

Then you say you're obsessing over it and you are holding back so you won't sound like a prude.

I don't understand.  Either you DO care (seems pretty obviously the case) or you don't care, and you need to get your behavior in line with which it is.

If you don't care (like you don't care what he eats for breakfast, you wouldn't be continuously asking him that,  you don't care) stop bringing it up.

Since you DO care,  be honest about that,  and stop watching porn yourself.

[Londres70]

How long have you all been together?  How old are you two?

Question to yourself:  Do you want to deal with someone who is NOT honest about what he does or who he is?  

Sounds like he wants to do this "activity" solo.  That is something you would have to accept if you stay with him.  Obviously he is NOT going to "come clean" about what he is doing.  

[teko]

Of course he is going to lie about it. You think he is stupid? Kinda like the forbidden fruit. Caved to lust and he is embarrassed and as long as he can deny it you cannot make him feel like a parasite about it. lol