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Pornography & couples
Pornography often has unrealistic ideals and I was talking to a couple of ladies and guys I know regarding this and I thought I would get other peoples opinions.
Given the diverse amount of adult oriented materials, should or shouldn't someone who is in a long range relationship try to get only materials that reflect the somatype and appearance of their partners.
The idea is that by doing this you are reinforcing sexual attractions and the role of your partner in sexual attraction and fantasies. Thic conversation was brought on by a lady saying that she only watched pornography in which the male resembled ideals of her current partner at the time.
What are other people's perspectives on this?
Given the diverse amount of adult oriented materials, should or shouldn't someone who is in a long range relationship try to get only materials that reflect the somatype and appearance of their partners.
The idea is that by doing this you are reinforcing sexual attractions and the role of your partner in sexual attraction and fantasies. Thic conversation was brought on by a lady saying that she only watched pornography in which the male resembled ideals of her current partner at the time.
What are other people's perspectives on this?
Hysterical. This is a new spin on porn. No offense, I actually laughed reading this!
First, I am against pornography b/c I think it encourages sexual abuse (most porn actors have been sexually abused, are drug addicts, other mental disorders). Porn, IMO, perpetuates sexual abuse, addiction, ruins relationships and creates absurd standards that some people feel they need to live up to. Here's a secret - girls don't really like swallowing *** or getting it all over their face. It's not a beauty cream.
I don't like to watch other people have sex. I think it's weird to watch other people even kiss. I only like watching my bf do it with me. That's fun for me.
I'm just going to put this out there. Watching porn people that look like your mates sounds insecure to me. Why don't you just film your own porn movie and watch that? Get a book about sex (it's sad that you would need a book but ok some people aren't good at sex) and then do all the positions and film it. With your mate. Then watch it while eating popcorn and diet coke. There's a new twist on date night.
First, I am against pornography b/c I think it encourages sexual abuse (most porn actors have been sexually abused, are drug addicts, other mental disorders). Porn, IMO, perpetuates sexual abuse, addiction, ruins relationships and creates absurd standards that some people feel they need to live up to. Here's a secret - girls don't really like swallowing *** or getting it all over their face. It's not a beauty cream.
I don't like to watch other people have sex. I think it's weird to watch other people even kiss. I only like watching my bf do it with me. That's fun for me.
I'm just going to put this out there. Watching porn people that look like your mates sounds insecure to me. Why don't you just film your own porn movie and watch that? Get a book about sex (it's sad that you would need a book but ok some people aren't good at sex) and then do all the positions and film it. With your mate. Then watch it while eating popcorn and diet coke. There's a new twist on date night.
I agree with mayflowers porn is not for me.. jo
Again this originated from a real conversation that a lady brought up. It is actually kind of funny though.
The abuse part you mention may have been true at one time but does not hold true now in America and never held true in America or other countries where there are unions etc. And some porn stars have actually held rather high political offices. I believe you are thinking streetwalkers with pimps etc..
The reason she stated that she doesn't make her own movies and the women in the group concurred is that they don't want to end up with a movie featuring themselves enfing up on ebay as they are not professionals in that field but rather in other fields where such media attention would not meet their needs as they are not personally exhibitionists.
Again these are largely women in rather longterm dating relationships.
BTW who do you think rights those books (lol)
The abuse part you mention may have been true at one time but does not hold true now in America and never held true in America or other countries where there are unions etc. And some porn stars have actually held rather high political offices. I believe you are thinking streetwalkers with pimps etc..
The reason she stated that she doesn't make her own movies and the women in the group concurred is that they don't want to end up with a movie featuring themselves enfing up on ebay as they are not professionals in that field but rather in other fields where such media attention would not meet their needs as they are not personally exhibitionists.
Again these are largely women in rather longterm dating relationships.
BTW who do you think rights those books (lol)
I think men write those sex books. Or really ugly women. I've never read a sex book though. Don't need too. I have instincts.
You are incorrect about abuse not being part of pornography. Watch Diane Sawyers documentary with Bella Donna. Sad how young women have been tricked into doing porn. I've known strippers that have been in porn and all were sexually abused as children. All had drug and mental problems. Never met a person with good self-esteem who did porn.
Porn stars in high political offices? The only one I know is Ciciollina. She's nuts. Name some more b/c I don't know of any.
I think your friend is very insecure and most likely very unattractive therefore she feels threatened by attractive women. She's also has control issues.
You are incorrect about abuse not being part of pornography. Watch Diane Sawyers documentary with Bella Donna. Sad how young women have been tricked into doing porn. I've known strippers that have been in porn and all were sexually abused as children. All had drug and mental problems. Never met a person with good self-esteem who did porn.
Porn stars in high political offices? The only one I know is Ciciollina. She's nuts. Name some more b/c I don't know of any.
I think your friend is very insecure and most likely very unattractive therefore she feels threatened by attractive women. She's also has control issues.
Most of those books on sex are actually wriiten by women, regarding womens pleasures. etc..
I stand corrected on the amount of adult entertainers in elected roles though I think you are unrealisic in assuming that women do not watch, read erotica etc.. I am fairly sertain that the majority of sex toys are not bought by men, for men etc.. and it is a multi-billion dollar industry.
Correct me if I am wrong but Diane Sawyer is an entertainer? On the view? or some similar show?
Is their a possibility that astute business women and men would ever choose a career of good pay, flexible schedules, and ego stroking as a career. People who were located in other countries not just America?
After all many countries that are not so flabby as ours like nude beaches for whole families and they are not immoral they just have a healthy outlook towards sex.
Again though this is not a question regarding the validity of porn, rather a question regarding the preferences thereof.
I stand corrected on the amount of adult entertainers in elected roles though I think you are unrealisic in assuming that women do not watch, read erotica etc.. I am fairly sertain that the majority of sex toys are not bought by men, for men etc.. and it is a multi-billion dollar industry.
Correct me if I am wrong but Diane Sawyer is an entertainer? On the view? or some similar show?
Is their a possibility that astute business women and men would ever choose a career of good pay, flexible schedules, and ego stroking as a career. People who were located in other countries not just America?
After all many countries that are not so flabby as ours like nude beaches for whole families and they are not immoral they just have a healthy outlook towards sex.
Again though this is not a question regarding the validity of porn, rather a question regarding the preferences thereof.
I agree whole heartedly with Mayflowers first post. She is my mentor. :)
Also, Anna Nicole admitted to being sexually abused as a young girl... look at her path. First stripping, then married some old man, then she later did porn movies.
Anna Nicloe did not do porn movies. While a lot of people in the porn industy probably have had some abuse I do not believe that the majority of the industry has been abused as a kid. If you look at the industry it has almost become main stream. You have several people crossing over to legitimate movies/tv.
I do agree with mayflowers about making your own and using that as a tool. My wife and I have made our own and I find it more arousing then watching other people.
I do agree with mayflowers about making your own and using that as a tool. My wife and I have made our own and I find it more arousing then watching other people.
Videos have a way of ending up where there not supposed to be so perhaps their unsaid concept was that buying movies of this type it was the next best thing to making their own?
Well, I'm a female that likes porn and always have. And, SURPRISE, I wasn't sexually abused, and SURPRISE, again I'm not a sexual abuser either. I think that porn is a good way to liven up a relationship, because we all know it can get boring after the 1st year together. It's not easy to come up with new and exciting things when you're with the same person for a while.
UH OHHHH!!! This must mean that I'm an ugly, unattractive female because I like porn!! Give me a break, stop stereotyping those of us that watch and like porn.
UH OHHHH!!! This must mean that I'm an ugly, unattractive female because I like porn!! Give me a break, stop stereotyping those of us that watch and like porn.
I've always enjoyed porn, and on plenty of occasions my wife and I have enjoyed reading magazines or watching videos together.
I've never specifically sought out porn featuring women that look like my wife - I'd rather have a variety. I think, for men anyway, porn (amongst other things) helps satisfy our genetic urge to have sex with numerous women in a way that doesn't involve cheating on our partner, so you look for variety in your porn. On the other hand, I do look for porn that involves the sort of situations that my wife and I have enjoyed in role play and fantasy, because those are the sort of things I'm into! Also porn can help you discover or explore new areas - different positions, different fantasies and role plays that you can then enjoy together.
My wife has told me that whenever she has had a sex dream, it has always included me (although often with others involved too!), although the converse is not true. Not sure what that tells us...
I've never specifically sought out porn featuring women that look like my wife - I'd rather have a variety. I think, for men anyway, porn (amongst other things) helps satisfy our genetic urge to have sex with numerous women in a way that doesn't involve cheating on our partner, so you look for variety in your porn. On the other hand, I do look for porn that involves the sort of situations that my wife and I have enjoyed in role play and fantasy, because those are the sort of things I'm into! Also porn can help you discover or explore new areas - different positions, different fantasies and role plays that you can then enjoy together.
My wife has told me that whenever she has had a sex dream, it has always included me (although often with others involved too!), although the converse is not true. Not sure what that tells us...
I think that lusting after another person is cheating in your heart and your mind, and on the same level in terms of "sin" and wrong as actually getting in bed with someone. I think society has reinforced that men "need" sex and must look at other women as they are visual... seriously.
In regards to porn, I personally think it is the same as if the couple were to each have a prostitute of the opposite sex to have foreplay with, or "warm up" if you will, and then have sex with each other. I mean - who would want that for your relationship? Well, naturally most people wouldn't - so why would you want porn?
Just my 2 cents.
In regards to porn, I personally think it is the same as if the couple were to each have a prostitute of the opposite sex to have foreplay with, or "warm up" if you will, and then have sex with each other. I mean - who would want that for your relationship? Well, naturally most people wouldn't - so why would you want porn?
Just my 2 cents.
ANNA NICOLE DID DO PORN PEOPLE!!
Would you still want your partner looking at porn if you were suddenly disfigured? How would that make you feel if your partner continued to look at porn? By your comments you are obviously not an ugly woman, so what if you suddenly became ugly, or so you thought you were ugly?
Can I ask exactly how porn makes you feel when you watch it? And if someone is not intersted in their partner after a YEAR, and that person can not turn them on without having to watch a STRANGERS body, then it's time to throw that "someone" to the curb and find a new piece of meat that "turns you on".
Just my opinion....
I agree with BearHitch "I think society has reinforced that men "need" sex and must look at other women as they are visual... seriously." this is total milarkey, MEN DO NOT NEED VISUAL STIMULATION! Women claim they need a constant companion who is intimate, understanding, makes great money, doesn't mind taking out the trast, and who will just be a close friend when you need one.. are those things too much to ask for? Nope! But men need VISUAL STIMULATION, oooohhhh plleeaasseee, let's see how many of those women who support that statement have men who cheat on them.. and then we'll see if they still think it's OK.
Can I ask exactly how porn makes you feel when you watch it? And if someone is not intersted in their partner after a YEAR, and that person can not turn them on without having to watch a STRANGERS body, then it's time to throw that "someone" to the curb and find a new piece of meat that "turns you on".
Just my opinion....
I agree with BearHitch "I think society has reinforced that men "need" sex and must look at other women as they are visual... seriously." this is total milarkey, MEN DO NOT NEED VISUAL STIMULATION! Women claim they need a constant companion who is intimate, understanding, makes great money, doesn't mind taking out the trast, and who will just be a close friend when you need one.. are those things too much to ask for? Nope! But men need VISUAL STIMULATION, oooohhhh plleeaasseee, let's see how many of those women who support that statement have men who cheat on them.. and then we'll see if they still think it's OK.
Anna nicole did playboy. That is not porn. LOL for quite sometime playboy really has been more for the articles!
What mayflowers said. It's full of exploited, broken, abused, and/or addicted women. Healthy, well-adjusted, mentally stable, addiction-free women choose other paths.
Oh, and Sam, Playboy IS pornography--if you go by the dictionary definition of it:
Pornography
NOUN:
1. Sexually explicit pictures, writing, or other material whose primary purpose is to cause sexual arousal.
2. The presentation or production of this material.
Oh, and Sam, Playboy IS pornography--if you go by the dictionary definition of it:
Pornography
NOUN:
1. Sexually explicit pictures, writing, or other material whose primary purpose is to cause sexual arousal.
2. The presentation or production of this material.
My post was in response to Mayflower's stereotyping of people that watch and like porn My point was that NOT all people that watch porn fit her description of a sexual abuser, ugly, or have been sexually abused. That was a bit narrow-minded. By the way, I would describe myself as average-looking-so my previous post wasn't meant to imply that I was a total hottie. I was sarcastic in that post.
I, for one, like it and get turned on by it. A long term sexual relationship gets boring after a while, so whatever works to liven things up! So, to me, I'd rather watch porn than cheat on a boyfriend. Trust me, if women had the choice of which they'd prefer-I can guarantee that women would agree that they'd rather have their men watch porn RATHER than have them sleep around.
I, for one, like it and get turned on by it. A long term sexual relationship gets boring after a while, so whatever works to liven things up! So, to me, I'd rather watch porn than cheat on a boyfriend. Trust me, if women had the choice of which they'd prefer-I can guarantee that women would agree that they'd rather have their men watch porn RATHER than have them sleep around.
Where exactly did Mayflowers stereotype people who WATCH and LIKE porn?
I only read comments by her about people who are IN the movies and/or ARE strippers. And she commented on Sam's friend--saying she viewed her preference for "types" in movies as insecure. And she said that men or ugly women likely WROTE how-to sex books. But I can't find where she comments on people who watch and like it.
I only read comments by her about people who are IN the movies and/or ARE strippers. And she commented on Sam's friend--saying she viewed her preference for "types" in movies as insecure. And she said that men or ugly women likely WROTE how-to sex books. But I can't find where she comments on people who watch and like it.
"Healthy, well-adjusted, mentally stable, addiction-free women choose other paths."
HOw do you know this? Was their a study-god brought down a stone tablet etc.???
HOw do you know this? Was their a study-god brought down a stone tablet etc.???
I agree with zodiacqueen. You can actually have a stable, comfortable, sexually active relationship and still watch and like porn. Some people think it isn't right. But there are just so many couples out there who like to watch. Watching is part of pleasure too, and some people like to watch other people have sex. Anything wrong with it? Nop, you spent YOUR money to get the CD.
I have to say, I have never been sexually abused and neither has my hubby. Still, we watch porn, the kama sutra etc. It is a part of learning new ways of pleasing your partner. I don't see it in a derrogative manner towards women. If you notice, a lot of women have built an empire off of their movies. They have a solid career and who's in control? It's them! And we also have to admit..some women LIKE SEX. You might see a simple secretary, sorry, executive assistance, or candy seller and they're crazy about sex. I once met a man, very average guy, the type of guy you'd never think has any life at all, yet he was crazy about sex, and its industry, and he was a business guy I met at the gym years ago. He said he enjoyed watching porn with his girlfriend...another way of getting arouse without doing anything really...
So, while it may be true that some porn stars have been abused as children, I also believe that human nature in general, abused or not, altered or not is to LIKE pleasure. Whether you find it in your own books, filming yourself, pleasuring yourself, or watching others is your own self. We have to accept the fact that not everyone who does or watches porn is mentally unstable. And something to add to Zodiacqueen's post: Who are you hurting by watching porn?
I have to say, I have never been sexually abused and neither has my hubby. Still, we watch porn, the kama sutra etc. It is a part of learning new ways of pleasing your partner. I don't see it in a derrogative manner towards women. If you notice, a lot of women have built an empire off of their movies. They have a solid career and who's in control? It's them! And we also have to admit..some women LIKE SEX. You might see a simple secretary, sorry, executive assistance, or candy seller and they're crazy about sex. I once met a man, very average guy, the type of guy you'd never think has any life at all, yet he was crazy about sex, and its industry, and he was a business guy I met at the gym years ago. He said he enjoyed watching porn with his girlfriend...another way of getting arouse without doing anything really...
So, while it may be true that some porn stars have been abused as children, I also believe that human nature in general, abused or not, altered or not is to LIKE pleasure. Whether you find it in your own books, filming yourself, pleasuring yourself, or watching others is your own self. We have to accept the fact that not everyone who does or watches porn is mentally unstable. And something to add to Zodiacqueen's post: Who are you hurting by watching porn?
It's sad to me how many of you have been mislead about porn & the trail of abuse against both men and women.
Zodiacqueen - If you need porn to get aroused with your boyfriend of 1 yr, there is something wrong in your relationship. Really, that's not normal after just one year. Geez. Pathetic.
I didn't say that people who watch porn are unattractive - I said that ugly women write sex books. They have to b/c no man would want to have sex with them otherwise unless they were willing to do "anything". I also think that S.Sam's friend is probably unattractive b/c from what he's written about her issue, she seems very insecure. Just a hunch.
Sam - where do you get your information? Do you have links to studies about pornography? When I was in high school and went to job fairs, I never saw the booth for porn actors. Even porn actors don't want their children in the business. Would you like your son to be a porn actor? Would it make you a proud papa?
Perty Kitty - by watching porn you are perpetuating abuse against men and women. You are part of the problem.
By watching and paying for porn is like buying fake Chanel bags in NYC. You are supporting people that are criminals and do bad things to other people.
Watch who you choose to give your money too. You'd be surprised at who it's actually helping. It would probably turn your stomach if you really knew.
Zodiacqueen - If you need porn to get aroused with your boyfriend of 1 yr, there is something wrong in your relationship. Really, that's not normal after just one year. Geez. Pathetic.
I didn't say that people who watch porn are unattractive - I said that ugly women write sex books. They have to b/c no man would want to have sex with them otherwise unless they were willing to do "anything". I also think that S.Sam's friend is probably unattractive b/c from what he's written about her issue, she seems very insecure. Just a hunch.
Sam - where do you get your information? Do you have links to studies about pornography? When I was in high school and went to job fairs, I never saw the booth for porn actors. Even porn actors don't want their children in the business. Would you like your son to be a porn actor? Would it make you a proud papa?
Perty Kitty - by watching porn you are perpetuating abuse against men and women. You are part of the problem.
By watching and paying for porn is like buying fake Chanel bags in NYC. You are supporting people that are criminals and do bad things to other people.
Watch who you choose to give your money too. You'd be surprised at who it's actually helping. It would probably turn your stomach if you really knew.
There are a percentage of sexually abused people who turn around and sexually abuse other people. This could be what is happening with the women "in charge" in the porn industry.
To you, I'm part of the problem. What problem? I am in a healthy relationship, happier than ever. This world will always be the way it is because we're all different, think differently, and heck I'm happy I don't think like you do.
To me, you're an extremely close-minded person who can't, for once, see that there's actually people out there getting something good off of something you THINK is bad. Have you been in any of those people's shoes (porn stars) to speak so comfortably about who they are and how they feel? Why can't you accept the fact that SEX isn't bad to watch!!! If porn stars want to do this job...who are they hurting? They're getting paid for it any way, while you're all being dramatic about it. Geezzz...
To me, you're an extremely close-minded person who can't, for once, see that there's actually people out there getting something good off of something you THINK is bad. Have you been in any of those people's shoes (porn stars) to speak so comfortably about who they are and how they feel? Why can't you accept the fact that SEX isn't bad to watch!!! If porn stars want to do this job...who are they hurting? They're getting paid for it any way, while you're all being dramatic about it. Geezzz...
"There are a percentage of sexually abused people who turn around and sexually abuse other people. This could be what is happening with the women "in charge" in the porn industry."
Did you know that about 85% of the greatest serial killers in the history of mankind have displayed abusive behavior at an early age by torturing animals and cutting them open ALIVE, cutting their friend's faces at school etc? Many of them come from a good family with values. And while I understand that some porn stars have been sexually abused, tell me how a 3 y.o (who then turned into a maniac killer) got messed up in the head by watching porn. Can't you at least agree with me that some people are born with real problems in the head causing them to become devients in society without having to be sexually abused?
This world has way more serious problems than PORN.
Did you know that about 85% of the greatest serial killers in the history of mankind have displayed abusive behavior at an early age by torturing animals and cutting them open ALIVE, cutting their friend's faces at school etc? Many of them come from a good family with values. And while I understand that some porn stars have been sexually abused, tell me how a 3 y.o (who then turned into a maniac killer) got messed up in the head by watching porn. Can't you at least agree with me that some people are born with real problems in the head causing them to become devients in society without having to be sexually abused?
This world has way more serious problems than PORN.
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