Aa
Failing in Asia
Sorry this is kind of a long story so I will try to make it as brief as possible.
Successful American male, earning 6 figures, marries an Asian girl. Girl insists on moving back to her home country. Husband sends his wife to Asia at least 4 months out of the year to visit home. Still not good enough.... Wife stipulates move or divorce.
Husband can not survive in Asia, does not speak the language. Eventually a baby is born. The wife really starts to make strong demands or returning home. So after 5 years of marriage in the US, couple moves to Asia. Husband now works 6-7 days a week, as opposed to 4.5 days a week in America. Husband is required to travel often.
Family now lives in the mother in laws house, husband is now treated as a fly on a wall. No longer treated as an important figure, relationship is really no longer treated as a relationship, more like an association of two individuals. No privacy, no intimacy.... Sex is minimal 3 times in 7 months to be exact. Wife states she has no intimate desires for her husband at all, and that it is not due to lack of husbands attractive looks. She states she is just sexually "TURNED OFF" period. She is not on any medications, The lack of sex within the marriage has lasted for 3 years. Husband and wife sleep in seperate rooms.
Husband, out of desperation finally had an affair.... and believes he may be in love with the other woman.
Husband does not want a divorce, does not want to lose his son, or a large amount of his wealth and in some respects still loves his wife.
This particular asian culture does support the practice of having a "minor wife" but he does not know if this could work...
He is dyeing inside.
Child has dual citizenship, without a doubt the mother would be granted custody. Wife, through her husband is already has 100% ownership of rental property which provides the income of twice the average citizen in her home country. If there was a divorce she would retain the property because foreingers can not own land in her country. She would also recieve 20% of husbands income for child support & half of all of his savings. In short, she would be extremely rich.
Advice?
Successful American male, earning 6 figures, marries an Asian girl. Girl insists on moving back to her home country. Husband sends his wife to Asia at least 4 months out of the year to visit home. Still not good enough.... Wife stipulates move or divorce.
Husband can not survive in Asia, does not speak the language. Eventually a baby is born. The wife really starts to make strong demands or returning home. So after 5 years of marriage in the US, couple moves to Asia. Husband now works 6-7 days a week, as opposed to 4.5 days a week in America. Husband is required to travel often.
Family now lives in the mother in laws house, husband is now treated as a fly on a wall. No longer treated as an important figure, relationship is really no longer treated as a relationship, more like an association of two individuals. No privacy, no intimacy.... Sex is minimal 3 times in 7 months to be exact. Wife states she has no intimate desires for her husband at all, and that it is not due to lack of husbands attractive looks. She states she is just sexually "TURNED OFF" period. She is not on any medications, The lack of sex within the marriage has lasted for 3 years. Husband and wife sleep in seperate rooms.
Husband, out of desperation finally had an affair.... and believes he may be in love with the other woman.
Husband does not want a divorce, does not want to lose his son, or a large amount of his wealth and in some respects still loves his wife.
This particular asian culture does support the practice of having a "minor wife" but he does not know if this could work...
He is dyeing inside.
Child has dual citizenship, without a doubt the mother would be granted custody. Wife, through her husband is already has 100% ownership of rental property which provides the income of twice the average citizen in her home country. If there was a divorce she would retain the property because foreingers can not own land in her country. She would also recieve 20% of husbands income for child support & half of all of his savings. In short, she would be extremely rich.
Advice?
Yes I am, and I apologize for my writeing style. I was trying to make it brief as possible, rather than makeing into some type of novel.
I have no disapointment with my child, none at all. If anyhting admiration, love and pride. He is one of the reasons I am here. Actually pretty much the reason. I can not bare the thought of having a child "somewhere" out there.
Also in a way, the writeing style does represent me.... What I mean is, I try to disjoin myself emotionally when I think about my situation. I just blow it off and carry on.
My wife is even looking for a job for me that would require me to live in an apt without her and my boy! The job location to too far from where we live, and my boy is not going to be raised in an area of nothing but traffic, cars, pollution and cement. So I would have to sleep at an apt, maybe 2-3 nights a week. I mean, how does one read these signals. Do I read them as, I don't love you, We are no longer WE, go get you a minor wife...? Even my mother-in-law tells me to get a " F - buddy" for a lack of a better translation. I think my mother-in-law is a minor wife herself. It is so complicated, and this family is upper class, this type of behavior is condoned at all levels within this society it seems.
I just can't do this unless my wife seriosly says... "It is OK to live together, and you have a misstress...." I mean make it official or something because I don't like to live like this. Also here, the minor wife, does not even mind being a minor wife.... it beats nothing at all in their view. Weird for me to comprehend.
Any how, yes this situation is real and I am living it & I stand to loose a fortune, and my parents are concerned because I also stand to inherit a lot of money through them. They do not want to see their money go up in smoke.
I have no disapointment with my child, none at all. If anyhting admiration, love and pride. He is one of the reasons I am here. Actually pretty much the reason. I can not bare the thought of having a child "somewhere" out there.
Also in a way, the writeing style does represent me.... What I mean is, I try to disjoin myself emotionally when I think about my situation. I just blow it off and carry on.
My wife is even looking for a job for me that would require me to live in an apt without her and my boy! The job location to too far from where we live, and my boy is not going to be raised in an area of nothing but traffic, cars, pollution and cement. So I would have to sleep at an apt, maybe 2-3 nights a week. I mean, how does one read these signals. Do I read them as, I don't love you, We are no longer WE, go get you a minor wife...? Even my mother-in-law tells me to get a " F - buddy" for a lack of a better translation. I think my mother-in-law is a minor wife herself. It is so complicated, and this family is upper class, this type of behavior is condoned at all levels within this society it seems.
I just can't do this unless my wife seriosly says... "It is OK to live together, and you have a misstress...." I mean make it official or something because I don't like to live like this. Also here, the minor wife, does not even mind being a minor wife.... it beats nothing at all in their view. Weird for me to comprehend.
Any how, yes this situation is real and I am living it & I stand to loose a fortune, and my parents are concerned because I also stand to inherit a lot of money through them. They do not want to see their money go up in smoke.
Could you possibly use words like "I", and "my wife"?
You sound completely, and absolutely disjointed from your wife, your child, and your situation. Maybe that's the problem? Your post is bizarre, and I can't imagine my husband writing about me in those terms.
Could you possible re-write this in terms like "I married an Asian woman, now she's gone back to her family, and won't have sex with me, and I don't even know the language, etc.".
Are you actually talking about your own life situation here?
You sound completely, and absolutely disjointed from your wife, your child, and your situation. Maybe that's the problem? Your post is bizarre, and I can't imagine my husband writing about me in those terms.
Could you possible re-write this in terms like "I married an Asian woman, now she's gone back to her family, and won't have sex with me, and I don't even know the language, etc.".
Are you actually talking about your own life situation here?
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