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Getting Jealous
I live with my boyfriend and we both are in love with each other.
He is Spanish, warm, and we have good sex and everything and he is faithful to me.
He is handsome. He gets easily friend with both girls and boys equally. He is an energetic, kind, open, person.
I always could handle his being friendly with other girls.
Last night we went to a party of my friends. Then he and a girl started talking together. Others were dancing and drinking. One other Spanish guy after a while came to me said that, don't stare at them and don't worry, she is the sister of my girl friend and is safe. Don't get jealous.
My boyfriend always introduces me to everyone as his girlfriend, and then the girl consider his being friendly as just being friend, and take care of me. But when we were leaving the party, the girl seriously brought a paper and in front of me wrote her Facebook name for him, and gave it to him, and she didn't pay much attention to me.
When we were home, my boyfriend as always that he keeps his connection with the people he knows, in the bed searched her in the internet with his laptop.
I looked at him. He told me are you jealous (very simply he asked) (although he is ssssoooo kind to me and really different from others, and we are every night together sleeping so in love), and I said yes. He wondered: really?!! and I answered No.
I didn't like it.
How should I react?
Thanks
He is Spanish, warm, and we have good sex and everything and he is faithful to me.
He is handsome. He gets easily friend with both girls and boys equally. He is an energetic, kind, open, person.
I always could handle his being friendly with other girls.
Last night we went to a party of my friends. Then he and a girl started talking together. Others were dancing and drinking. One other Spanish guy after a while came to me said that, don't stare at them and don't worry, she is the sister of my girl friend and is safe. Don't get jealous.
My boyfriend always introduces me to everyone as his girlfriend, and then the girl consider his being friendly as just being friend, and take care of me. But when we were leaving the party, the girl seriously brought a paper and in front of me wrote her Facebook name for him, and gave it to him, and she didn't pay much attention to me.
When we were home, my boyfriend as always that he keeps his connection with the people he knows, in the bed searched her in the internet with his laptop.
I looked at him. He told me are you jealous (very simply he asked) (although he is ssssoooo kind to me and really different from others, and we are every night together sleeping so in love), and I said yes. He wondered: really?!! and I answered No.
I didn't like it.
How should I react?
Thanks
Best Answer
COMMUNITY LEADER
Yeah!!! I am so glad for you. Sometimes if we express our needs-------- our partner will stand up and meet them. Sounds like you have a good guy. I'm really happy for you! Best wishes.
Last night I told him that: I want to share something with you. Sometimes I feel I love you SO much that I feel being a bit jealous for you. I think couples should share their feelings and take care of each other. And this is not because of someone special or anything that have been done wrong by you or others. This is just because I feel so much love for you. Take care of me about this.
He changed his behavior. He takes care of me really so much. He talks with his female friends in a more serious way. and hugs me or pays attention to me in front of them, more. I am satisfied.
He changed his behavior. He takes care of me really so much. He talks with his female friends in a more serious way. and hugs me or pays attention to me in front of them, more. I am satisfied.
I have a fear what would be his reaction if I tell him I don't like this, or I feel jealous. Then he might say he has many female friends and there is nothing special about it, or he get angry,.. or I lose my face and power telling him my fear.
Considering he has introduced me to all his relatives and friends. And even when I am not with him, I hear later from his (female)friends or even when I am with them, that he says she (me) is my princess. He says this hundred time a day.
He introduced me. He introduces me every time. But there is no difference in his mind that be a bit less close to his female friends because of me. And people are not usually thinking like this, the I feel humiliated.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hm. Well, he sounds like he loves you and you have a good relationship. Yay!, glad for you. But I think it is okay to have your guard up about this. If he didn't follow the usual pattern and introduce you, was acting slightly more interested in her than you usually see (immediately searching the internet for her), and she was't friendly to you like you are important to him------------ yeah. I wouldn't like that. When he asked if you were jealous------- first you said yes and then no. Why did you back down? It is okay to say how you feel--------- right? You aren't being mad at him or unreasonably yelling about it or anything. You just had a funny feeling you didn't like. I think you could have said "yeah, I'm a little jealous and I hate feeling that way." and let him comfort you or explain.
Occasional jealousy happens-------- unless it is a pattern that consumes you and ruining your relationship . . . oh and it is baseless------- I wouldn't worry about it too much. But if he asks if you are a little jealous, tell him so you can talk about it.
By the way, I loathe face book. Wish it had never been invented. It causes tons of problems for couples. My 2 cents on that.
Occasional jealousy happens-------- unless it is a pattern that consumes you and ruining your relationship . . . oh and it is baseless------- I wouldn't worry about it too much. But if he asks if you are a little jealous, tell him so you can talk about it.
By the way, I loathe face book. Wish it had never been invented. It causes tons of problems for couples. My 2 cents on that.
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The thing about relationships is that we should be able to express our feelings. I think you can say "I don't know why I feel this way and am not asking you to change anything----- you've done nothing wrong but . . . I sometimes feel a little jealous when X (then tell him when)". We shouldn't be afraid of reaction about our feelings. You are not accusing him of anything or saying he did anything wrong-------- you are just letting him get to know you better by sharing how you really feel.
I've had twinges of jealousy before especially when my husband and I were dating. I never said anything but my then boyfriend/now husband picked up on it------- he would reassure me even without my saying anything. Some men do not pick up on it------- give your boyfriend the opportunity to reassure you. And as far as female friends that were only interested in friendship with him and not me---------- well, none of them now have contact with my husband. Not because I said one word about it--------- he just drifted from them as we are now a couple and any woo woo games that go on between opposite sexes (which would be the only reason a friend of the opposite sex had no interest in their friend's partner ) came to a halt. He's maintained frienships with plenty of females--------- but they befriended me too. Otherwise, they are gone. Just the way it works out once you committ I guess. As I said, I never said one word about it to my husband. It just happened naturally.
So, let me know if this is occasional or all the time------- your jealousy.