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Avatar universal

How do I cope with my situation?

Morally im against abortion but my girlfriend is pregnant and is already taking the pills before procedure and I truly love her and I'm trying to show her I'm there for her by taking her to these horrible appointments and she knows I'm against abortion and I told her I would raise this child alone if she doesn't want anymore (she has 4 already)& she's telling me I'm not ready for a child and she can't handle having another one at this time and she won't consider alternative ways like adoption... please let me know what i can do to stop feeling so horrible with myself and cope with this
4 Responses
Avatar universal
Tell her to not make this mistake she will regret it so bad...
Only God knows why he does what he does yes itll be tough to raise another baby but theyre ALWAYS a big blessing i am only 24yrs and expecting baby #4 my youngest just turned 1 this month and im so scared for thr baby to come in February but I know I will make it and itll all be worth it :)
1 Comments
I've told her how I felt and for her not to do it and that I would raise the kid and she won't have to be in our life after the birth but she says she can't handle feeling the way she does for another 8 months and she's already taking the medication that kills the baby before the abortion procedure...I am also 24 and this would be my first kid and she is 35 with 2 boys and 2 girls
3191940 tn?1447268717
Unfortunately, you can't tell her anything, nor can you decide that this is a mistake for her.  What's right for one person isn't always right for another.  If she has already made the decision, then only you can decide what to do about the relationship.  If this is a deal breaker for you, then it's probably best to end this relationship and seek out someone whose views are more compatible with your own. I'm very sorry that you are in this situation, and I wish you the best.
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hello.  Well, I think your girlfriend is in the positon with four other children to understand what she can handle.  She most likely feels she is making the most responsible choice based on the situation.  It's hard to be the male, I understand, as you have no say over what a woman does with her body even though it is your dna that she is pregnant with.  But a woman has to carry the baby and often is the one who is left holding the bag with the child if the dad bugs out (her other four kids . . . ) so is the one who gets to decide.  

It's hard.  You may not recover from this but if you've shared your view and she feels abortion is HER best option, you have to respect that.  good luck
1 Comments
Sadly she still lives in the same house as her four kids dad and he knows she is in a relationship with me and tells her all the time to take the kids and get the hell out...I would love for her and her kids to live with me but as of right now I am a live in care taker and the apartment is only two bedrooms so it's not big enough for seven and I'm trying to save up to get a place for us but me and her have one vehicle and it keeps nickel and diming me every other day it seems like something is going out on it or breaking...yes I know it's a f****d up situation but we love each other
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
So she lives with the dad of her other kids but is dating you and got pregnant.  This is definitely complicated.  To be honest, I think she is wise to understand that this is a very bad scene.  You can't right now make a home for her and the other kids (who would be taken away from their father to live with you).  I think that I'd really rethink this whole thing.  She has a TON of baggage and things that should be her priority are her existing children.  She's trying to get it together which unfortunately seems like it may lead to an abortion but if that is what she feels is the responsible and best decision giving this complex situation, I'm not going to argue that.  Again, I'd consider that this relationship is not the best, her lifestyle is not going to lead to a happily ever after with you and that maybe a situation with a less attached woman would be better for you.  good luck
1 Comments
Thank you for your words of wisdom and the suggestions...her and I are both recovering addicts and found that every time either of us have a desire to go and use we can get together and talk about what petty little thing almost sent us back out and not feel uncomfortable or embarrassed by it and we know we'll keep each other's secrets... I got clean in 2014 and got a job and met her at my work, she was a regular customer and she never had any guy with her when she would come in and I could tell she was always high so i pulled out a NA card one day that said need help with a drug addiction? Call and it had my number along with a couple of other peoples numbers and she called me that night crying asking if I could meet her somewhere and talk cause she wanted a change of life like the one I had
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