Are husband supposed to b EVER home or available?

[Noopinion]

Marriage has its ups And down, like now for example I am down b/c my (I call him roommate when I am mad at him cause he acts worse than a roommate) comes home late at night bc he has to stay at work late since he doesn't know how to manage his time to get the job done and worst of all when he does get home he acts all mad and upset eg. Jerk and complains that he hasn't eaten lunch or breakfast and wants to eat. Like as if he just walked in to a restaurant or something!!!! And oh yeah he leaves the table with all the food and plates and everything and goes to bed or falls asleep on the couch. Now my complain is it's not my fault he doesn't know how to manage his time better, get things done that are lingering over for months or that he doesn't set 20 minuets Aside Ina day to eat. Mind u lunch is prepacked for him most of the time. I can use a suggestion or a tip if anyone has anything to say. ( by the way he works for himself so it's not like he makes more money if he comes home late, and I contantly have to hear how he has TOO MUCH TO DO )

[specialmom]

I understand what you are saying.  I guess the question is----  is he truly busy for work or do you think he is avoiding home life?  There is a big difference between the two.  My husband works long hours, travels, etc.  I don't feel neglected because it is what he must do to make the income that keeps us afloat.  But I do know of men (and women) that avoid their home life through work, hobbies, etc. because the emotional attachment is lacking.  I can't tell from what you've written which it is.  

When my husband is gone, it helps me to think of us as a 'team'.  I'm keeping things going on the home front while he has to be away for the sake of our life together (IE: our mortgage).  I keep busy with my kiddos and my own activities.  ??

[Noopinion]

How did u deal with ur husband being so unavailable? Do u have kids?

[Noopinion]

The issue is not that I don't have food ready it's just that I feel he comes home to eat and sleep and that's it and I feel neglected. Not to mention the kids. What should I do?
Ps. I appreciate everyone's comments and yes I work part time

[specialmom]

Hm,  I would cut the guy some slack if it were me.  He sounds like he works hard and is stressed.  Do you have a job outside the home?  I've had times in my life were there weren't enough hours in a day to get it all done and I want to come home to some TLC.  And when my husband is super busy, I try to give him some tlc.  

I often make a crock pot supper or something I can keep on the stove warm for him when I'm not sure when he is home.  

I do agree he could at the very least get his dishes in the sink.  And maybe you should have 'days' to do dishes separated out between the two of you so you aren't stuck doing them all the time.  You can talk about a balance of the home work load unless you are an at home parent or working part time compared to what he is doing for his job.

good luck

[Life360_Dave]

Hi, it appears you both have created a habit lifestyle, do something to change the routine even if it means rearranging the furniture or throwing out a bunch of stuff and keep in your heart thankfullness he has an income and most important his health.
Ive learned that life goes it merry way, then tragety strikes and all we ask of God is to go back to the routine we had before.
Start this new year with a fresh outlook on your relationship and put back in place the femine charm you used to entice him in the begining.

[RockRose]

My husband ran his own business and worked 12 hour days for a couple years - and it wasn't because he was bad with time management,  it was because he simply had more to do than a standard 8 hour day would allow.

I suspect that's what's going on with your husband,  too.

How feasible would it be to have dinner for him when he comes home that can very quickly be reheated in the microwave?  I would fix dinner around 6 or so,  and the kids and I would eat and then when he would come home - often after 10 p.m.,  the food was still sitting on the stove and it was a matter of minutes before he had a fresh warm meal.

The two of you going at each other like this will end your marriage, noopinion,  and your lack of respect for what he does all day long will make him leave.