sister in law stuff

[pitter]

what do ya think? is it okay for your sister in law ,( who is not usually concerned with us at all unless she wants something,)
to ask  us if she can  have her 40th bday party at our brand new house?
I don't want to, bcz she uses her brother (my hubby)..
I don't want the wear and tear on our house...she says she will pay for the catering and the clean up...
I feel totally out control of my own house...
my hubby said yes to her with out asking me first.
what do ya think?
thanks Patt

[pitter]

hi POO , it's been awhile.
thanks for answering me in my woes a few months back. Mt pc broke and I was off line. .yu are very sweet. and loving.
How are you? and your son?
pitter

[babypooh]

Oh, honey, don't worry about that; I know you don't mean to be unkind. Like you said; enough is enough and things only get worse if you do nothing. It's best if it comes from your husband though so I'm glad he agreed to speak with her.

[pitter]

thank you again pooh! I need the support,,,I am a kind person, but enough is enough!
my best wishes to you too.

[babypooh]

Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry and I understand you about the in-law problems. I'm sorry that your husband is upset, but you need to stand your ground. Ask him how he would feel if it were your brother that kept using you guys and then wanted to use your house. It's very important to set boundaries with in-laws because it only causes problems. It matters to you so it needs to matter to him as well. Stand your ground each time. Good luck.

[pitter]

Hi Pooh,
Thank you for your answere...
thanks for the support. I told him how I feel.i am so tired of getting used..
he is afraid to alienate the family by saying no...
she is just a user...
He is going to call her tomorrow and tell her we decided it's not a good idea.( And he is upset with me now.)
I told him to ask her to please drop it at that...
she is very good at manipulating to get what she wants.
Early Last week we gave her 2 bureaus,( we delivered for her) never got a word from her , til today she calls him to say thank you,   and oh by the way, can I have my bday party at your house...she does this stuff all the time.
Her house is a mess, all the time, so she wants to have it at our house...our house is bigger, so I guess that means a BIG party.
but you are right she doesn't see it as wrong to ask, cuz she gets her way with him.
well thank you again for listening and responding. He is sleeping and I am stewing!

[babypooh]

I think it's kind of inconsiderate of her to ask, but since your husband isn't firm with her about it, she doesn't see it as being wrong. Your husband should have asked you first rather than saying yes to her.  I'm sorry honey, I know how frustrating that can be. Make sure you talk to your husband about it and ask that he NOT make decisions like that without consulting you. Also explain your concerns with his sister only coming to you when she needs something. Good luck. You have good reason to be upset.