My boyfriend won't have sex with me

[ambidextria]

We have been together for two years now. He used to be crazy about sex, he would do it just about anywhere as long as it was private, he hardly said no. He always wanted to kiss me and touch me, and he talked about it and sexted me almost every night. Then, something changed. Now he will only make out with me when we're completely alone, he won't show any PDA, he will only accept hand jobs and asks for blow jobs, he hardly fingers me or eats me out, and sex is absolutely out of the question, he will not have sex under any circumstance. He says he's afraid of me getting pregnant, but we use condoms and I have offered to go on birth control as well (still using condoms). He still said no. This is kind of raising red flags in my head because it's super unlikely that I'll get pregnant with two birth controls and having access to plan b. He hasn't really shown much intimacy lately and we bicker a lot. I really feel like he hates me now but when I ask he says he loves me and he's just changed and matured. We don't live together, but he masturbates frequently too and I refuse to masturbate, it just doesn't arouse me at all, I actually hate it, so I feel like his needs are being met and mine aren't. He masturbates, gets hand jobs and blow jobs, and I'll get fingered or eaten out or both probably once or twice a month. Is it wrong that I'm so upset? I feel like he's lying and there's something more but he swears it's nothing more. I feel he's being irrational, but I don't want to force him to do anything he doesn't want to do. We haven't had real sex (fully naked, long lasting) sex in over a year. We have had sex (quickly, some clothes still on, he pulls out within five minutes without cumming and finishes himself or asks me to do it) maybe two or three times. Sorry if this is TMI but I just don't know what to do. I feel ugly and unwanted and this sex thing is stressing me out. I feel like he's lying to me and that he doesn't want me anymore, but he swears it's not like that, and he's brutally honest and blunt. I don't want to break up with him because of this but it's driving me crazy. I just can't get horny anymore without knowing that there's a possibility of sex, being naked together doesn't arouse me at all. I get horny when I think about sex then get disappointed when I realize we probably won't have it for a few more years until we're stable enough to handle a child.

[D_Snead35]

I had a bf like this once. It drive me insane. He had E.D. You didn't mention this, but this may be a issue for your bf& he just doesn't know how to tell u. It was the same for me he always wanted oral or hand jobs intercourse was nonexistant between& I was never sexually satisfied in any manner fingers our oral. I dated him for two years left him because of this, ended up chasing on him because of no satisfaction, got back with him about two years later, nothing had changed. Also discovered that I really didn't like him, his attitude was very arrogant & he always acted like it was my fault he never satisfied me as long as he got what he wanted it was all good, but talk to ur bf if u really love him & want to be with him he may be suffering from E.D. He may also have an enlarged prostate which can cause E.D. He may need to see a doctor asap. Good luck

[loveblind]

Either that, or there is some bizzar hold with his relationship with his mother.  Ive seen this before.  Two situations come to mind, first his mom had him so OCD crazed and dictated his thoughts that it was a bizzar control.  The second situation.  The guy walked in on his mother and best friend having sex.  He may need some help if there is an emotional deal.  If he is plan selfish wither he is cheating or not... Move him out of your way quickly!

[Londres70]

Regardless the reason or reasons why he isn't being that sexual with you anymore the BOTTOM LINE is that you aren't getting what you want from the relationship in regards to sex.  

My guess is that he wants out of this relationship OR he is in a relationship with another woman and is playing you both.  

I can't imagine this ending "great" for you dear.

[hotmama78]

Sad to drop this comment but I need to share with you.. my own brother in law acting the same to his gf which happen to be my good friend :( after 8 months we then find out he was actually seriously dating someone else... yeahh 8 months...!!!

I felt truly sorry for my friend, she was so hurt badly and I can't do much bcos the other he was my brother in law.. but he claim that he is really love the other girl. Has been 2 years since then, my friend still hurting but my brother in law has married the girl he having affair with few months back so I guess yeahh he does truly love her.

I not saying your case are same this just a sample from others experience and is happen in my own life. When my friend share me that they has been stop having sex, life are different and Bla Bla.. I never thought things happen that bad but when we have family gathering I surprise that the girl he bring wasn't my friend and I get my answer. Worst more they having 5 years relationship and close to married just that when the bell finally ring is wasn't my friend be the bride. I sad and happy in the same time....

Lots love..
Rachel..

[lisaob1]

it seems like its a one way street..and you need to cross the road..because you either put up with him being this way or you tell him  you want more..if he doesnt change then he is not for  you...