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Secret for love?
We all want love. And you have to give it to get it, right? So, what's your secret for keeping your partner happy??
Mine list is not as developed or well thought out as yours. I can't give my husband everything he wants or do everything he would like, but I can give the most important of the list of things he wants and likes. I.e., he gets a good wife, a good partner, a ho-hum house cleaner. He values the first two over the third. So we get along. :)
COMMUNITY LEADER
Okay, I'll go first. I agree Rockrose, the secrets of successful relationships that we have in our life are not just for romantic relationships (although some may be reserved for that . . .).
Letting it go. This is something I've learned over the years. In truth, I think those we are close to could drive us crazy 25 times a day. On bad days, 25 times an hour. Picking battles and letting the majority of things go -- especially trivial things helps me in my relationships. My sister has a couple of annoying habits such as feeling she must share her knowledge in such a way that it is absolute fact rather than opinion. I could be contrary and try to argue but what does it matter? I take the advice I want/need and say thanks for all the rest and do my own thing. People can say things off the cuff that are hurtful without realizing it. I could be sensitive all the time and get hurt feelings--- but why? When I keep it in perspective, the person probably didn't mean it that way and rather than being hurt, saying something and making it into a 'thing'--- cut them some slack. So, whenever you can-- let go of things.
Boundaries. We can not be the type of person who can't say no and then feels taken advantage of when people keep asking us to do things. I've learned how to set appropriate boundaries so that we are all on the same page. This helps me in every relationship I have from another mom with a playmate for my kids, my bestie, my hubs, my family. You can't complain if you don't set boundaries.
Fun. Focus on fun. KNOW the other person and what they think is fun and try to connect with them there. My sons think different things are fun than my husband. Than my sister. (sometimes, than me). So, I try to connect with them doing what they like. For Christmas, I got a video game for our wii u that we all can play and they taught me how. Boy, they were like in pig heaven with mom playing the wii with them. Husband loves basketball. Tickets over the Christmas break for the family to a basketball game was HIS kind of night. So, figuring out what you can do together that may not always be your own first choice of activity, and doing that with someone having some FUN builds a lot of credit in the relationship.
Remembering. trying to remember what is going on with another person and asking about it. Being interested in their lives. We do this for people we care about. The world is filled with talkers. Learning to listen to people helps a relationship grow.
So, there are a few things from my pantry. :>)
Letting it go. This is something I've learned over the years. In truth, I think those we are close to could drive us crazy 25 times a day. On bad days, 25 times an hour. Picking battles and letting the majority of things go -- especially trivial things helps me in my relationships. My sister has a couple of annoying habits such as feeling she must share her knowledge in such a way that it is absolute fact rather than opinion. I could be contrary and try to argue but what does it matter? I take the advice I want/need and say thanks for all the rest and do my own thing. People can say things off the cuff that are hurtful without realizing it. I could be sensitive all the time and get hurt feelings--- but why? When I keep it in perspective, the person probably didn't mean it that way and rather than being hurt, saying something and making it into a 'thing'--- cut them some slack. So, whenever you can-- let go of things.
Boundaries. We can not be the type of person who can't say no and then feels taken advantage of when people keep asking us to do things. I've learned how to set appropriate boundaries so that we are all on the same page. This helps me in every relationship I have from another mom with a playmate for my kids, my bestie, my hubs, my family. You can't complain if you don't set boundaries.
Fun. Focus on fun. KNOW the other person and what they think is fun and try to connect with them there. My sons think different things are fun than my husband. Than my sister. (sometimes, than me). So, I try to connect with them doing what they like. For Christmas, I got a video game for our wii u that we all can play and they taught me how. Boy, they were like in pig heaven with mom playing the wii with them. Husband loves basketball. Tickets over the Christmas break for the family to a basketball game was HIS kind of night. So, figuring out what you can do together that may not always be your own first choice of activity, and doing that with someone having some FUN builds a lot of credit in the relationship.
Remembering. trying to remember what is going on with another person and asking about it. Being interested in their lives. We do this for people we care about. The world is filled with talkers. Learning to listen to people helps a relationship grow.
So, there are a few things from my pantry. :>)
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