Aa
Young Relatonship
I am 18 years old and my boyfriend is 21 and we have been dating off and on for 2 years now. He has a 2 year old daughter from a previous relationship and him and the mother of his child are going through this "process" where he's supposedly making everything clear to her that things are going to change and she has to accept the fact that they aren't getting back together. Of course she's not happy about it and isn't giving up easy and I don't trust him completely. I don't know what the odds of us working are because my parents don't care for him due to his situation and he hurt me the first time, she still wants him, she's around all the time, I'm in college, he's in the military and we are a good distance away from each other. What do I do?
Best Answer
I know it sounds cliche to say, but you are young and there are so many other guys out there who don't have so much baggage(other fish in the sea). If you stay with him, you will only have more and more drama in your future. If he really wanted to be with you, he would have made the cut from the mother of his child a while ago, but he hasn't. Actions speak louder than words, so go off of what he does, not what he says he will do. He obviously is not leaving her and moving on with a relationship with you, so cut your losses and move on.
Your both have good points and basically just reiterated what I've been feeling, this is drama. I will take this advice, think about it and go from there. Thanks so much for your time and advice.
So basically right now he's in a relationship with the mother of his child and you are the "other woman" that is pulling them apart.
Being in a relationship with you, and "going through a process" to "change" the relationship with his current girlfriend (mother of his child) is what's known as "two timing". He's got both of you and he's kind of pretending he's breaking up with the mother of his child so you'll be there a little longer.
You can do better than this mess. Listen to your parents.
With any luck your boyfriend will choose to stay with the mother of his baby and they'll create a loving home and family for the baby to grow up in.
Being in a relationship with you, and "going through a process" to "change" the relationship with his current girlfriend (mother of his child) is what's known as "two timing". He's got both of you and he's kind of pretending he's breaking up with the mother of his child so you'll be there a little longer.
You can do better than this mess. Listen to your parents.
With any luck your boyfriend will choose to stay with the mother of his baby and they'll create a loving home and family for the baby to grow up in.
No i don't want to be a mother to another child this young but its kind of hard to just give him up when we've been through so much already and i don't want us to be based on her but you are right she isn't letting up. If you talk to him, his mind is mad up but he doesn't know how to change things with her without it making problems between them cuz shes the messy type. I do thank you for advice and sometimes I agree that I do deserve better!
Yes he was going back and forth with her so she may be getting signals but he keeps telling me he's going through a process of changing his relationship with her and building his relationship with me so I'm just leaving things up to him because I feel like thats all I can do.
Do you really want to be a mom at 18? to someone else's child? You can't get him without his child, so they come as a package deal. Also, he seems a bit fickle, going back and forth, can't make up his mind. That's not a good quality to have in a significant other. Personally, I think you deserve better, but that is something you need to think long and hard about.
When you say your parents dont like him because of what he did last time what do you mean?has he been back and fourth with his ex?if this is the case then i wouldnt stick around it is hard work when a child is involved but even harder when the ex dont let up,why is she still hanging around she must be getting signals,it is totally up to you but i dont personally think this is going to work.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Relationships Community
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
