Hi everyone, i wouldn't think posting here but i needed to talk to someone or at least get some advice from.. i am in a long relationship with my girlfriend over 9 years, to make things clear its also my first gf. we went through a lot in the past good and bad times, mostly from me since i am not the guy who shows feelings, its true i was not complementing her as she has done to me and many other things a girl would like to hear.
for almost 4 years she was dreaming of living together having our own house, there were a lot of reason i could not move from my family's house since i was living with my father and he was sick with heart failure. i cannot say, at least she was understandable and had a lot of patience with me.
last 2 years of our relationship a lot went wrong, even after making a lot of sacrifice moving in with her i was happy but she was not, her feelings, what she was feeling for me was not there. a lot were missing... she even developed feelings with my best friend because he supported here when i was not there, i know its my fault i truly know. but i was there know to make things right, this was last year when she finally asked to break off with me,
i was surprised and even though i looked emotionless most of the years with her, i breached down and cried, because i know i could give her more than i was giving her and support here everywhere, at that time we stayed and tried our relationship and also to improve my self in that time, i made a lot of changes in unbelievable ways she was also surprised with me, in that time we had a lot going on again as some miss communication but in a stupid way like kids, maybe something silly happened after that we do not talk for a day, each time something silly happens she ends up that she wants to die or not wake up the next. day, she is liked trapped with me.
i know that she has feelings for that friend of mine, so i guess what she means trapped makes sense, this year a lot happened, she even found her self pregnant this was a disaster for her but i was there next to her to support her with anything she might need, i explained to her that i have a lot of things i want do with her, travel plan things make things together i was happy explaining this, we even planned the name of the baby and set that we will get married at the end of this year,
but all of a sudden she asked me that she wants to break with me yesterday, hearing this tore me down i was overwhelmed with feelings i could not hold, up un till now i feel very sad i just want to cry, we are both young, having our jobs our house we have same taste in music games in everything and yet there this hole i cannot fill, she asked me again and insisted what i will answer her if she asked me that she wants to live alone, and that she does not see our us living together forever,
sorry for typing all of the above but i wanted to make at least a small clear picture, after all the sacrifice i made things are not turning in the way i wanted, now i need to make my choice, is it fine to leave her pregnant like that and leave? i mean i will hate my self for doing this its unforgivable but again she does want me to leave the house, i don't know what to do i am so sad i am so sad for me and that baby, i know the moment i leave the house i will cut connection with her, i am not the type of person who will carry my ex with me in my phone, again all i am thinking is the baby.... i just don't know what i could do, i wanted to do a lot with my family and make them happy but its not my choice now..