Pregnant, Husband Doesn't Seem Interested

[arlandonbloom]

I am 13 weeks, 6 days pregnant with my first child. Lately, I feel like I have been in this pregnancy alone. The only support I have is from my husband and close friend from high school, but more support from my friend than husband. He was really excited at first, but now he barely mentions anything about the baby, never feels or talks to my tummy anymore like he did before. I am not sure if it is because he's stressing out about his new job, or if he's finally aware that I am pregnant and this is a big life change. He doesn't seem as passionate or romantic with me either. Usually he is the one always trying to kiss me, but now it's the other way around. I am not sure what is going on with him, he claims that everything is fine and no he isn't stressed out with his job but I don't believe it anymore. I don't know what to do. I've tried being sexy and romantic with him, and he allows it but I think it's just because he doesn't want me to feel stupid. I have tried giving him back and neck massages after his long days at work but it's like now he doesn't want me to help him out at all and it makes me really sad because that's my duty, to help him and make him comfortable. Anyone have any advice?

[alaysha]

There is a great saying that a woman become a mother the moment she finds out she's pregnant and a man becomes a father the first time he holds his baby. You could explain everything there was to know about pregnancy and he could nod and say he understand but it isn't real to them until they see the baby. So yeah, he might be acting a little strange, but honestly it probably has nothing to do with you. It sounds like you have some big life changes, ie: new job, newly pregnant. I'm sure he is just trying to balance everything in his head. Men aren't big on talking about their feelings. Just let him be and once he figures things out he'll be fine. I remember during my last pregnancy I was feeling so insecure because my husband did the same thing that I started bawling one day convinced he didn't want to be with me anymore and he looked absolutely shocked and could not grasp why I felt like that. Men.

[newmommy1217]

I had my daughter this past Easter and I went through the same if not a little worse. Believe me you'll see a change once you find the gender out, the babyshower, etc. My advice would be to see where the next couple months take you and him. Don't let him be non- existent but realize that we become mothers when we find out were pregnant. Men become fathers once they see their child. It's definitely challenging, but also they are not experiencing the changes in body and carrying a baby. Try to have some sympathy but at the same time you do not need to have him there to have a good and beautiful pregnancy 100% of the time. Journal, get the baby's room ready, keep busy is what I did and once my daughter was born things changed. Stay strong momma ;)

[baby2014]

Specialmom explained it so well. Men just don't understand. Everything will go back to the same after the baby. Just don't nag at him it causes more stress on you. I learned that the hard way during my first successful pregnancy. Now I'm pregnant again and he's acting the same as he did during the first pregnancy. I just leave little notes around such as possible baby names or can't waiting to be called mommy and hear daddy. Don't stress just be happy and make a date night and have fun that is safe for pregnancy.

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Ya know, my husband and I worked hard to have a child.  It didn't 'just happen' and we both wanted it badly.  FINALLY, I got pregnant.  Wow, were we excited.  But I noticed pretty quickly that my husband wasn't acting much different.  I of course was because the baby was growing inside of me.  My whole life kind of changed.  He was definitely happy but not like me.  

Please don't worry.  I think some men have a bit of a hard time getting all hyped up for 9 months with something they really can't feel, etc.  It's different for us than them.  My husband also got weirded out by the baby moving.  While some people love to feel that . . .  my husband was not into that.  

But he was right there when I delivered and has been there ever since.  He fell in love with his child (and now children) and is a great dad.  

some men also do have intimacy issues when a woman is pregnant.  Again, my husband was just acting weird when I was pregnant about sex and what not.  All went back to normal after the baby although then I was less in the mood than normal for a while myself.  LOL  

You can try talking to him about it.  Not in a way that makes him defensive so he feels like he has to act a certain way.  But rather ask him questions about if he's excited to be a dad.  and if you want more affection, then ask for it.  

Try not to read too much into how he's acting.  It is true what is said above as well that he can be nervous about the whole thing and that is normal.  good luck

[genamarie]

Just try talking with him, calmly explain to him how you feel he's been seeming a little distant and that you're concerned. It may be nothing at all aside from feeling stressed, and even a bit afraid. I hope everything is alright, good luck! I wish there was more to say to help out!