Help , No Rude Comments

[MommyToBe4214]

I met my boyfriend 2 1/2 years ago and we have been together since. When we first started dating he asked me how old I was, vise versa. I told him I was 19 which would make me 21 almost 22 but I was only 16 which I am now 18 almost 19. I hope that makes sense. He told me he was 24 which was a lie. He was 30 when I met him. He will be 33 next month. I found out his real age shortly after we started dating but he has yet to find out mine. I'm surprised he hasn't due to the fact we have a 1 1/2 year old son and he was there when I gave birth and he signed for the birth certificate which had both of our ages on there, me being 17 and him being 31 at the time. Our second child, a girl this time, is due September 21st 2015. We're looking for a place but they need our sons birth certificate which I had to go order from DMV because we had yet to get it. They now come with the age of both parents on it. So I haven't gave it to him. I made up an excuse that they had to mail it to me. So unless I give him the birth certificate we can't finish applying for the place. With me being pregnant, he will most likely find out my age when filling out the hospital papers, which like I said, I'm surprised he didn't last time. I know he needs to know but I'm scared to tell him being such a huge age difference. I need advice, etc.!?

[RockRose]

My guess is,  he knew full well all along that you just became an adult,  and he wanted to pretend to believe you so he could have sex with a minor and not be prosecuted.

Turns out he was worrying for nothing,  apparently,  because the hospital didn't seem to care at all that he's 31 and you were still technically a child.

I can't imagine being able to pull off pretending to be 19 with my partner when I was just in reality 16.  

He's always known.

[Chima7]

You do need to tell him. But if he gets mad about it then he's kind of a huge hypocrite since he literally did the same thing. So if he gets mad then just ask him why it's ok for him to lie about his age and not for you?

[TTinKKerBBell]

First I'll say - age IS more than a number -

MUCH experience and maturity comes for all of us between the ages of 16 and 30.  At that point You had only been a teenager for 3 years - on the other hand, He was 11 years PAST being a teenager.  

But now.....You are married with Babies, so the lies are no longer what matters - what matters is providing and maintaining a good home/life/environment for the Babies.

He lied, You lied - even steven.  It doesn't appear that You were mad about Him lying so why should He be mad for You to do exactly what He did?  THAT would be a double standard for sure.  Probably You are worried for naught.  Why don't You just try coming clean with one another?

Try starting off with:

"Honey, Baby, Sweetheart, we love one another and our Babies SO much how 'bout we BOTH put our true ages out in the open.  No need for either of us to be upset 'cuz it only interprets that we wanted to be together SO much that we BOTH told a little white lie"

GoodLuckWithThis and I too truly think it will be okay

[Roxxxy915]

Ithink by the time you tell him hes gonna just laugh about it. & say babygirl , ialready new that & you'll laugh about it too. Its okay dnt stress over it . Its just a # plus , u guys been together this hole time idoubt he'll leave u bcuz of that! Just be honest about simple things frm now on...

[MommyToBe4214]

My supposed to be 21st birthday was December, shortly after that I got pregnant. That's why he never asked. He should have an idea by now. I'm just scared of his reaction. You know? He never told me his age. I found out myself.

[zulema1015]

I agree with all the ladies...Plus i would be absolutely shocked if he didn't know already...You guys have two kids and by the sound of things you two are very much in love. My advice tell him you never want to have secrets in a relationship it's not a strong foundation. Good luck and don't even stress it, as everyone mentioned he lied to only difference is he came clean so you should too.

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Well, never too late to be honest.  Just get it over with.  I know why you lied but why do you think he lied?  You were under age and probably afraid he wouldn't date you.  I just kind of wonder if he doesn't really have some idea about this.  He may ask you to not tell people though because of how it looks for a 30 year old to have been with a 16 year old.  It's over and done with now and seems silly two kids later . .    but he still may want to keep that private.  Anyway, good luck.  Just tell him as secrets fester inside of us.  

[savvyjewel]

Yeah.. I honestly think he knows already. He's just waiting for you to tell him. Just tell him mama.. get that **** off your chest. He ain't going no where. Sounds to me like he love you long time ;)

[thaiworld]

Sorry i was saying u love him and he loves u. He would forgive u. After awhile

[thaiworld]

Something tell me the hospital should have said something. Because their require to report it. But

[dianaexoh]

You should definitely come clean on that one as opposed to letting him discover it. You have a child, another on the way and are happy, so I doubt he would leave. I'm amazed that you managed to keep it on the dl that long without a family member or friend outing you, that's some work.

[CammiLovesU]

If you just tell him the truth, I'm quite sure he'll be fine.  He lied.  You lied.  But you have 2 Kids and it is what it is.  From what you've described, he doesnt seem like the type of guy that would proclaim "thats it!" And leave.  But eventually, the truth will need to come out.  Just let him know straight up everything will be fine.

[NewatThis7980]

He never asked if you wanted a drink at a bar or a resturant? He probably already knows.

My boyfriend made a huge fuss about telling me his age at first. Which made me even more suspicious as to why he was hiding it. I would just tell him, then NEVER bring it up again.

[Roxxxy915]

Lol @Patricia02 ^ comment!!!!! Lol imean like you said he signed the previous birth certificate more than likely he notice your name & age etc... Hes probably not saying anything to you/playing dumb lol cause it isnt a big deal anymore since you guys been together for awhile now. & plus , again he lied to you tooo!

[Patriciaaa02]

Omg how does he not know what about the candles on your birthday cake lol I think he knows he just waiting for u tell him he lied too anyways

[alexx1216]

Oh yeah, he lied too, so it shouldn't be a huge deal, but you should be honest

[alexx1216]

Omg is this a true story?? Lol girl of cores he you need to tell the father of yours kids your age! I'm surprised the hospital didn't say anything when you delivered at 17 and him being 31. Goodluck though, I really hope everything works out at the end for you guys, but YES tell him your age, it's important for him to know.

[deekie25]

Plus he lied too

[deekie25]

Ugh I accidentally clicked back to community instead of post comment....it pretty much came down to just come clean about it he probably knows but never said anything . Age is just a number and if you love each other it shouldn't matter

[kcrowley15]

I honestly don't think it will be too big of an issue. Of course he might be a little upset because you never told him but age is just a number! Plus I mean he must obviously love you. You all have been together that long and are having baby #2. I would say to just talk to him about it. Don't let him just find out on his own. Hope that helps :)