I had a pattern with dating addicted men. You can't change that. A person needs to be ready to change or it isn't going to happen.
This is lame, really! My husband has an issue of taking my scissors so when i need it it is always gone. Usually it ends up in the garage. I have battled this one for years so one night i decided what"s good for the goose is going to be good for the gander. I looked for my scissors, nowhere to be found so i asked the ole boy where is it? His response did you look in the garage?!! Umm no........I looked at him and said the next time i cant find my scissors i am going out to the garage and taking one of your tools. Fast forward to a few days later, no scissors...so out to the garage i went, saw his precious drill sitting there and i took the dumb thing. He needed it a few days later and asks if i have seen his drill......I just looked at him and said nothing. He then pauses for a moment, looks to the area of the scissors and procedes to go outside. Well, low and behold he comes in with my scissors!! I went upstairs, into the attic and got his drill. I am happy to report my fine scissors has sat in its spot since!!! Next time his air compressor will be gone as i know he will resort to his prior behavior!!!!
The small one that drives me cuckoo is that my husband doesn't know where things go in the house, and puts them away (good for him for putting things away) wherever there is a space. I am likely to find my shoes in the kitchen cupboard. If I painstakingly explain where things go, he looks at me as a dog would look at someone trying to explain physics, and never, ever applies one thing I have said to the real world.
MY SCISSORS IS GONE............and so is his air compressor.
Taking this to the more serious note. My husband had many bad habits when we got together. He likes to drink, and he was a bit abusive.
The truth is I tried a few things. Telling him I would leave if things didn't change, taking away the money he had to get beer. None of that worked. So I prayed for him to change. One day a cousin of his invited us to church. My husband wasn't interested but that might we got in a huge fight and I ended up outside in tears. I prayed and my husband came out and made up with me. Then we went to church the next day.
I will not say all was better after that. It was the start though. Over the years my husband and me went through alo t and grew up together. He stopped drinking when it was that it having seizures. He stopped being abusive when he realized he could lose me and that his life was better with me in it. He started being more loving over the last few years even, and he says it is because he knows what he has.
I dont think you can make someone change major habits. Prayer, not giving up, and knowing when to stand firm is what it takes.
My husband and me now are happier then ever. In addition we don't argue often over the things that most couples do. No one ever expected us to last but here we are 15 yrs later and 8 Yrs of marriage.
Hope this helps someone ....