Women Problems...I'm Confused

[Vlad117]

I'm 20 year old male and until about 2 weeks ago, I hadnt had sex for 3 years.
I met this amazing girl and we had a lot to drink and the night was great.

We ended up having sex, and I was hurting her some by accident. Excitement and being drunk mostly. I was a nice guy about it all and tried to be more gentle when asked. It went well mostly, she seemed to be enjoying it and I was totally loving it.

Problem is, she got tired and we basically stopped. I think she got off, but I did not. Weird I know, no sexual contact after 3 years, you'd think it'd be quick. I wasnt mad about it though. I'll blame the alcohol on this one.

Turns out she started crying about having a boyfriend, and my emotions and sense of happiness dropped into the pits of my stomach and I felt like a horrible person.

The thing is, I keep hoping she likes me. Why else would someone just sleep with almost a complete stranger? Alcohol?

no...

she slept a good few hours before waking up and deciding to perform sexual intercourse with me. She was pretty sure about it actually. The morning she seemed pretty happy and everything and I asked if we'd talk after that day.

Yes, all in all she wants to be my friend...but at the same time she seems to be giving me the cold shoulder. I really like this girl, and I almost feel somehow our relationship of not long has diminished.

I did tell her I do like her a lot to basically get it all out of the way. I'd like to have her back over to party more, but I'm afraid she regrets or hates me after that night.

I'm so confused and worried. I dont want her to think thats all I wanted. I dont want her to think that if I invite her over she has to sleep with me. I'm not that kinda person to be honest. She hardly speaks to me though, so I cant really ask her.

How do I get a girl's attention!? lol. I would apprieciate any kind of advice!

[Vlad117]

To be honest, I agree with you all. I feel I'm very mature at my age to really sit down and think all of this through.

I have too. I just know I could at least help her as a person. I mean...If anything I'd just be happy to be her friend and someone to seek advice from.
I know she doesnt trust too many people, but maybe if I could get her to trust me and talk to me about things....I could help her a lot.

Not really trying to have sex with her, as Jaybay said...the relationship would have to come first. I agree. Thats what I'm trying to establish now with her. I dont want her to hate me for a "mistake" even if that wasnt a mistake. I dunno.

I'm glad someone responded because it helps. Shes beginning to talk more with me and seems she would really like to continue on pass what has happened. I just hope something good comes out of all of this.

Not sex either. lol. I really do like her as a person, and I'd just be happy to have her as a close friend if anything.

Thank you again guys, maybe I'll repost later on the situation to let you guys know how things are going!

[Jaybay]

You have just stumbled into the very reason why casual sex ain't such a great idea.  Let her go and move on.  It's not easy in this day and age to show sexual restraint when women push it just as much as men do.  Do you want to go through something like this again?  No fun is it?  Before you jump in the sack with some chick, ask yourself if you want to take the chance of making a baby with that woman.  Do you want to risk getting an STD.  Do you want to make a life with this woman or do you just want to have sex?  The relationship should come first.  The sex is simply icing on the cake of a good relationship.

[Confused-one]

I would say esp with her having a boyfriend you need to respect her enough not to "go after" her. If you truly want to be friends with her however you could invite her & her boy friend to a party or you could possibly ask her if she wants to get coffee or something public so she knows that you are respecting her wishes & not just trying to get sex. If she declines I would say let it be as she did cheat on her boyfriend with you & might feel uncomfortable around you right now. She might need time & space to figure out what she wants to in life. Good luck I hope things work out for you!

[pinkdevil511]

to be honest honey i dont mean to upset you but a lot of times girls get caught up in the moments of drinking and having another guy show them attention especially if they are fighting with the current boyfriend and they make the  mistakes of sleeping with someone else because they felt better about themselves in the moment. they get caught up and it feels great in the moment but then the next morning comes and they realize what they did and the reality sets in.

you seemed to have been very honest with her about your feelings so i doubt she hates you or thinks you only want her for sex. at this point my honest opinion would be to let it go. i understand how feelings can be and how you cant get someone out of your head but think of it this way. she cheated on her boyfriend who is to say if you guys dating that she would be faithful or not to you.

you seem like a good guy in a bad situation and it could only turn out worse if you pursue it. but go with your heart. im a firm believer even if you get hurt in the end at least you tried and you listened to your heart. so sit down and ask your self all the questions. is it worth the pain? the time? the questions? the possible problems if her boyfriend finds out? if you guys did date  would she cheat on you too?

i hope it works out i really do and if you need someone to talk to im here. ill check back later and see if you comment or question anything