Wrong impression

[love138]

I want to see how this guy is doing but, i dont want him  to get the wrong impression that i am interested in him and want to date him. I was thinking about texting him but we havent text in a year and havent seen each other in 2 years..we sort of had a falling out..to me it was more his fought then mine....he seems 2 be a texter and not a talker...how can i go about texting him so that he wont get the wrong impression that im not interested in him?

[VICourageous]

Then give him a Call on the Phone where You can talk and ask him how things are..Or long time since we have talked. Friends reach out all the time and some sooner and some much later.
Bless

[love138]

no its not..im saying if he doesnt respond i can forget about him in general..im not saying "move on" as if im trying to start a gf/bf type relationship..i just want to see how he is in a general way...that's it

[TTinKKerBBell]

I've come to agree with others here. You say "if He doesn't respond then I can just move on" -  "Move on"(??) - that seems more invested than just a simple "hello".  If I'm now getting the "wrong" idea, I think, so would He.

[nursegirl6572]

I agree completely with the posts above.  For whatever reason he's on your mind, to get a text out of the blue from you after all this time WILL be confusing and it will only be natural for him to make assumptions about it.  Just leave it be is my advice too.

[Londres70]

Sounds like you should probably leave things as is, i.e. don't contact him.  

[love138]

i get what you're saying...i dont know im just confused to be honest. To me, if i text him and he doesnt respond then i can just move on and delete his number..to me its really no big deal. i'll try to update on what happens

[specialmom]

Well, it sounds like to me that he wasn't wanting to really do much with you and just wanted to text, right?  And even though he texted you last, that was just because you weren't all that interested in his lack of effort.  So, how doe s being caring come into play a full year later (and two since you've even seen him)?   See what I'm getting at?  Why take a step back?  Your friendship or whatever it was didn't work out because of reasons that probably aren't different a year later.  

I just feel like there is something going on that prompts you to want to get in touch with someone that wasn't making any effort and so much so that you noticed and got irritated with him.  You haven't seen him in 2 years or texted with him in one----  why is it on your mind now?

If you want to text him, go for it.  I just think that there is no way to predict how he will react to it and probably he'll be like "huh?  why now?"  just like I am.
good luck

[love138]

hmm, im not lonely. Im just a caring person i guess. Well, i didnt want him to be more "into" me, i wanted him to communicate like a regular human being. To me he seemed lonely b/c he would ask me to hang out all the time and he wanted me to come over to his house or vice versa. Also i didnt understand his point of texting all the time..we were just associates.. thats it...i dont mind texting him to see how he's doing but i dont want him to think that i "want" him or whatever

[specialmom]

To me it sounds like you may be a bit lonely and he came to mind.  It doesn't sound like you were compatible as friends or in dating.  I'd probably not contact him.  I don't see much point.  Doesn't sound like there was a friendship and you wanted him to be more into you and call and that kind of thing and he wasn't.  

I'd think about who is in your life now or where you can meet new people to feel connected to someone.  

That's just my opinion any way.  If you really feel like it is worth it, then sure.  Text him a hello.  good luck

[love138]

we never dated..and we were trying to establish a friendship or whatever

[love138]

He was a nice guy who i met that i did like at one point and i assumed he liked me and wanted to be friends.well he said he wanted to be friends...anyway, we had a falling out over him basically texting me and not speaking over the phone to me.. we got into some sort of text argument over it and he was the last one to text me and i never responded back to him..i was just tired communicating through text and him lying about calling and asking me out through text..and also texting me late at night..it was just weird. it was actually my intention to call him at the time  but i didnt and left it alone..why i say he would get the wrong impression is because i think that he did like me more than just  a friend/associate  and i guess i wanted more out of it too but, i think he would take it the wrong way than just a casual "hello, how are you?" my intentions are not to date him b/c im not really interested in him in that way..and i dont want to be in a relationship right now.i always got the impression that i made him nervous for some reason..

[Londres70]

I am not sure why you are interested in getting in touch with this guy.  

If you two were good friends, then I would say just text him a short message.  

If you two weren't good friends and just casually dated or had some brief interest with each other, don't contact him.  

[specialmom]

I kind of wonder what your motive is.  Is it just to say hi?  Genuine curiosity to see what is going on with him?  To become friends again?  to apologize or clarify a misunderstanding?  If there is no real motive for contacting, maybe letting sleeping dogs lie.  I think text is very personal. I receive texts from folks that I'm dealing with on a day to day basis.  If I haven't talked to someone in a long time, I would be utterly confused by a text.

Do you have his email?  You can write more there and tell him what your motive is.  But if he's gone on and is happy---  and he at one time was interested in you but you weren't him, I wouldn't contact him.  Don't distract him from what is going on since you state up front you don't want to date him.  if he thinks of you that way, any text that is general will confuse him.

If you feel you really do want to contact him, be really specific about purpose.  "Thought about you and wanted to just see how your life is going.  Mine is great, dating a nice guy, etc.  Or, I was thinking about how we ended things and I feel bad for X.  Hope you are doing well and we've both moved on to be happy.  Etc.  

I think you need to figure out what it is you are desiring from him from this opening communication again.  good luck

[Nighthawk61]

Can you elaborate on the relationship and the falling out? Did you text him after the falling out? or was the last text part of the falling out?

[Nighthawk61]

I agree that it's hard to become friends with x lovers, unless you had a strong friendship prior to your sexual relationship. If you did have a long standing friendship prior to a sexual relationship, you could text, Can't we just be friends? Or Can't we get over our ill feelings, and just be freinds? or I still care about our friendship. Maybe?

[Life360_Dave]

Hi, if your not interested in him why do you want to see how hes doing? If he had feelings for you and you broke up with him, then getting in contact with him would spark that you have interest. If he broke up with you then he would think your still trying to get back with him so why bother. Its very difficult for ex lovers to become just friends esp the oppisite sex  as most often there is not a true balance with both persons feelings.

[TTinKKerBBell]

I see nothing "wrong" with simply saying "Hi, how are You"?

How can one get the "wrong" idea from a hello?  and what is a "wrong" idea?