Is this normal?

[michaelb111]

Hi everyone, thanks for taking time to read my query!

My situation is like this:
I am with my partner for 8 years, we have one child who is 5 and one on the way. Our relationship is a very strange one but I want to know is it really that strange. Firstly we dont particular get on that well, we are having the second child because we love our first one so much and didnt want to see her without a brother/sister. My parnter is moody basically 6.2/7 days a week. We dont kiss. hug nothing and have zero sex, In the past 5 years I would guess we had sex 4 times with 1 resulting in pregancy, which was good as the sex was such **** that we both said we would not do that again as there is less then zero chemistry between us! The not talkiing in the evening and having zero in common i can live with but the no sex and anything physical kinda gets to me, Im just wondering what someone would do in my case, or should i just accept i wont be having any sex again in my life or love for the sake of keeping my family together! Im not prepared to leave my kids either!

Thanks

[michaelb111]

Hi Y'all,

The environment at home is fine, she is a moody person and I usually have a knot in my stomach when I get home but our child is fine, probably the happiest kid I have ever seen :)
The thing is I would like my room mate to be happy in the future and find love as life is to short but she says shes to old for love now, she is 33 and I would like to find someone who loves me, but kids come first and making them happy and loved! Im not sure what Im asking maybe just reassurance that Im not the only person in this kind of situation and its not so unnormal!

[Life360_Dave]

Hi and welcome, i think this is normal for those that are not satisfied with their social accomplishments. Sex and hugging has its place but if their creative side is not being used and a successful financial future is not on the horizon then these mundane habit lifestyles take place.

[TTinKKerBBell]

....and You planned a second Baby?  My feeling is You should not plan another Baby if Your plan wasn't to stick together for better or worse.  You love Her SO much You didn't want to see Her without a Brother/Sister.....well, She needs Mommy and Daddy, too.  It's what the Babies want - They have no choice - but You do.
I would go for couples counseling and try to turn this into a happy home for the sake of those TWO Babies.  It's what the Babies want

Good Luck.

[specialmom]

Hm, well.  You sound like roommates.  I'm not sure about the wisdom of getting pregnant with a second child while doubting the relationship.  It would be one thing to say you were just coparents, companions, partners with a sexless marriage but you are saying she is moody almost all the time and you don't get along.  That's really not a great house to raise kids in.  You and your 'oartner' are their role models for relationships.  Would you curse your kids to this same kind of life in the future??  I would say that if you two worked well together and all was fine except for a sexless marriage, that it could probably work.  Certainly those types of households exist even if it isn't perfect.  But an unhappy home is different.  

really wish you'd not put this situation on yet another child.  

but that is done now.  I'm not sure what your goal is----  to make the current situation better, learn to just accept it as is or if you are asking if you should leave.  Could you clarify what your question is?

[RockRose]

In rereading,  I think maybe you're not married . . . so that makes kind of more sense.

You just for some reason fell into the habit of living together?

[RockRose]

I'm wondering,  how did you go from being wildly in love,  wanting to stand up and vow to spend the rest of your lives together,  to this?

[michaelb111]

Im 34 by the way! male