do i stay or do i move on

[artist1234]

Been in relationship for 8 years - started as friends, then lovers, now no intamcy - I don't want it.
I feel like his mother now.  We are in our mid 50's. I am bipolar, he has schizophrenia. He is so bright, we share interests in music, photography, and art - me - a painter and him graphic artist. He is a totally computer person - 6 computers - and i do rely on him to keep me up to date and fixes all my techno stuff.  I am grateful - i'd be out of touch .  He does have a care=giver now that I set up 5 years ago. We have never lived together and I can not do cooking cleaning, etc for him.  I have a car - we enjoy going out on day trips.  However, I have more money - and that is my problem too, I end up paying for these since he is on limited income - i am too - but have monthly income too.  He is getting sicker with his illness - more delusions, etc.  He now has COPD, false teeth and hearing aid.- which he doesn't like to wear.  I feel more and more disconnected and wonder if i am staying in it because I feel sorry that he would be all alone.  His family has no connection with him.  He would probably go into a board and care - which i don't want for him.  He is too bright and needs all his guitars, computers, studio..
I need to keep on painting - but find myself exhuasted and dained by his weird conversations lately. I would like to travel - go to italy and holland - once. and saved for it.  He is to sick now to go - a girlfriend was going to go but sick now.  I miss having an adult conversation with a man and being looked at as a woman.  We do not fight - we just got a puppy together - the puppy is at my place.  now what to do.  I feel unhappy - and he is hanging tight onto me.

[cheshchesh819]

i agree you have said it yourself you dont want so stay in it there is a whole world out there ready for you to enjoy,good luck

[teko]

You are in you mid 50's. You are young enough to chase your dreams. It sounds like you are torn. I hear from your post that you truly care about this person but cannot imagine giving up your life for him. And why can you not have him in your life and still live yours? If you are not married the only thing holding you back is you> You need to get out and make friends, do things with them, go places and still be there for you long term friend of friends. He has charted his course, not yours. You only have one life, no do overs. You dont want to end up 80, empty and alone full of regrets. Follow your heart I say.

[perch101]

Reading through your post it sounds like you know what you want - and that is that you do not want to be in a relationship with this guy. But you feel bad for him (sounds like you hit the nail on the head where you said you wonder if you perhaps feel sorry for him being alone if you break up with him). But really, it sounds like you don't want a romantic relationship with him. And thats okay - you are not married and don't have any commitment to him to stay with him just to make him happy - while sacrifycing your own.
The thing is - if you care for him and about him (and it sounds like you do) you can still be in his life - as a friend - and you can still give him emotional support (if you want to) as a friend -  but you don't owe this guy your happiness - therefore sacrifycing your own.
Good luck.