Girlfriend's Mood

[robertanthony]

I'm 29 years old. Since 2 months ago I have met a woman who is 34 years old. She has got divorced 1 year ago and I'm not that much experienced in relationship stuff. The thing is that we felt very comfortable till last week. we were keep saying we love each other and we had very good moments but suddenly she stopped the romantic behavior. She's saying she sometimes has her bad mood and remember the stories of her ex husband. she's in a bad mood now since last week and she's saying she remember how her ex misused her. we see each other almost every day but she is distant with me and she's saying it doesn't relate to me. She need to pass this time. I'm also introvert. I tried to support her and listen to her as much as I can and talk to her but she's saying I'm always silent. My question is that She is giving me the signals that she wants to finish with me or I should trust her and wait till she pass this mood?

[Nighthawk61]

Well it seems that now she's blaming you for her mood, in that 'you are always silent". I'm hearing that she is blaming her ex and now you for her mood. This is typically called "projection". ("Psychological projection, also known as blame shifting, is a theory in psychology in which humans defend themselves against their own unpleasant impulses by denying their existence while attributing them to others. For example, a person who is rude may constantly accuse other people of being rude.")

You are dating women to find a girl that you can settle down with. What you're experiencing are "red flags" Reasons why you shouldn't give your heart to a person, and Reasons why you would hold onto your heart, for a wonderful girl that is out there right now waiting for someone to love. In order for you to meet this women, you must be free !!!!

I know it's not easy to break up with a person , when there is no one else in sight, but the fact is that you just can't see the trees for forest. The fact that you've mentioned that you're an introvert and that you're working on it, and that your efforts are not being respected tells me that this is not the girl for you. You need someone to help to draw you our of your shell, not blame you for own problems and prevent you from feeling comfortable in your own skin.

All the best in 2016.I want to hear from you that you've met someone that hasn't got the kind of baggage that brings you down in this New Year !!!!

[feelingundone]

Also be leary of anyone who blames the ex for everything.  I agree with what was said above and just be careful. If you stay in this relationship invest yourself slowly as you may just be the transition guy.
Divorce is usually a devastating process andshe clearly isisn't over it.

[Dee2115]

Sounds like a mood disorder try to be patient with her idk sometimes it never goes away til she let's her past going I. Bipolar and also been there with mymoodscuzi wasn't letting my past gooncwe I did I was OK

[Londres70]

Agree with AB and SM.  

She may divorced, BUT she hasn't resolved issues related to her ex; her past.  She probably would benefit from talking with a therapist.

All the best.

[specialmom]

Often times women and men need a recovery period before getting back into another relationship after a divorce.  This is common.  And while things may have felt good in the beginning, she now realizes that it's too soon.  And two months is fast to be telling each other you love one another.  The theory that the quicker it takes off the faster it fizzles out is played out over and over by such fast moving relationships.  I'd try to back off and give her space.  good luck

[AnnieBrooke]

I, also, think you should consider walking away from this relationship.  She is not emotionally available at this time, and you don't really know what happened in her marriage either (her ex-husband might not have been totally to blame for everything).  I'm glad you had the fun of finding yourself a girlfriend, it shows that you are a lovable person.  But if you stay with her, you will feel unloved and sooner or later will internalize it and feel unlovable.  Not a good thing for you.  I suggest you tell her that it seems time to break it off, or if you don't have the heart to make the point this permanently, to take a break for a few months, and go on with your life.

[RockRose]

I don't think your asking the right question.  The question is,  do you want a woman who is terribly moody and blames it on her ex-husband?  

In my opinion,  she may have a mood disorder and when she feels horrible,  just guesses it's because of her ex-husband,   when in reality it's a chemical problem in her brain.  

So do you want a woman who is this moody?