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im too attaxhed to my boyfriend and its killing me.

I have been in a relationship for a year and a half. And things have always been good and sweet, unless a problem arrises and it always tests my patience and his trust. He has trust issues. He was in a previous relationship for 6 years and she so happen to confessed that during a complicated situation she slept with his close friend. We got together about 6 months after that and i didnt know about this at all.  We started out as flings and nearly a month later he popped the question will i officially be his girlfriend and i said yes. I myself just came out of a relationship and this boy was his close friend. I dont know if i was just anrebound then or was i a part of his revenge toward his ex.

Things always get out of hand when i catch him chatting with other flings or he sees me chatting with my male friends to the point where we've technically broke up a million times but we got back together because id always back down. So does he. I forgot about him having trust issues since for the past six months he was the one that has been messing up. Going out with a female friend and got caught, chatting with a fling and got caught, contacting a girl i strictly said not to and got caught.

I am the kind of person who really takes care of a relationship when i have one. Somewhat stupid in love, but maybe its because ive messed up alot during high school. I love him to the point he changed me. From sneakers to stilltoes, from baggy jeans to hot pants and cocktail dresses, from natural look to make up to body lotion, hair moisturiser, nail polish, skin exfoliator even my hair colour, and body size. I thought at the beginning that i was doing this change for myself, turns out its for him. Even my character changed. I was the roudy rough headsteong never backed down girl. Now im the vulnerable weak sensitive low esteemed pathetic girl i am. I realize this and im adapting to it. Which is bad.

I fought with my parent over a sesitive issue and stayed with him ever since. Its been 2 months now and he has chased me out 4 times. Im immune to his many women chatting he says are his friend but this last one is too much.

He has been busy on his laptop for weeks and even when im around he is totally absorbed into it. I get hurt when his friend calls and asks him out he jumps at it but when i ask he delays and sometimes even tells me no. I psycho myself and say relationships take understanding so i got bored and got a hold of a guys number. I did the craziest thing which ive never done, chat with him. I know to some people, its just chatting, so? Trust me in my relationship its like im stepping on a mine, the moment i do the wrong move, kaboom!

And thats what happened when he saw it and read it. He even said have fun, lets play this game if you want to we'll see who hurts in the end. I walked out but camw back again, and walked out and came back again and walked out and came bck again the same night. Then, all of a sudden he is acting like its all cool. Hes like its fine its up to u. A sudden guilt came upon me, i dont even know why should i be guilty for something i didnt do wrong? He even did it multiple times and i accepted it. And i cant sleep since he is ignoring it. Im baffled. I dont know what should i do. He was even casually on skype with another girl friend and she just broke up. He says they know he is living with me but if a girl knows this guys is living with his girlfriend, would they keep chatting? Unless he gives an impression the relationship is not that serious, right? Please do advise. What can i do??

Ps we plot revenge on each other alot. What kind of s relationhip is that?
2 Responses
134578 tn?1614729226
"We plot revenge on each other a lot, what kind of a relationship is that?"  

A relationship where you are emotionally very young, don't have anything better to do, and like drama, and don't  have a strong self image.  Can't you step up your expectations for yourself?   If you were on the fast track to med school I wouldn't see you doing this, or if you were running for public office and could see you had a chance, or if you were in Bangladesh running a clinic.  And guess what, you could do these things.  You just need to lift your sights.  If you lift up your expectations of what you might accomplish in life, stupid stuff like this boyfriend and your mutual games will just drop away as the trivia they are.

Good luck, it might just take you growing up for a while.
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
I agree with anniebrooke.  You're better off living with a girlfriend (paying your half) if you are out on your own than in a relationship that doesn't sound that great and he has more power because of the situation.  I'd really consider taking a break from living together, find another arrangement and then see how you feel about him.  good luck
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