my husband

[nelly1028]

I found a drafted text for  me in my husbands phone it said that he was not happy with me and he could not except raising another mans kids I have 2 and we have 1 on the way I asked him about it he said he wrote it when he was mad he didn`t mean it but it hurt me he have said that b4 I juct want you all`s input on it what u think??

[PromisedLand]

I'd only have 1 son if I hadn't taken my wive's 3 on as my own and as far as I'm concerned they ARE my own...I love them as much as my own and they love me as their Dad and both girls want me to walk them down the aisle one day..my (step) son is the most wonderful/hardest working/bound to be very successful 26 year old I've ever known and if it wasn't for him and my oldest daughter, I would have had a heck of a time getting through the loss of my second son a while back.

I learned much about step parenting from my Dad who took my stepbrother in as his own immediately and always treated him like he treated the other 3 of us..


Jim

[lovemykids465]

I know I journal my feelings just to vent and once I do I feel better. Doesn't always represent how I really feel just how I am feeling at that moment. He may have been doing the same thing.

[nelly1028]

yea it was a drafted text but you know it just bothered me to read it, thanks you guys for the advice its been really helpful

[specialmom]

mami just said everything that I would say.  I agree completely.  good luck

[mami1323]

Yeah, I agree that he probably said these things in anger.  I've been known to say things I didn't mean during a fight.  However, you may want to discuss the issue of him not wanting to be part of your kid's lives.  Even though he didn't mean it, that's a very sore subject and I think you need to address it.  

[severin76]

I just would like to point out that he has not sent this text to you, as far as I understand it was just a drafted text which he did not send you, so it is very probable that what he told you afterwards (that he was mad and that he did not mean it) was true.
One of the previous posters said that we often do not mean everything what we say - it can be applied to this case, especially if he even did not say it, just wrote his confused thoughts as drafted text, which he did not send in the end. It shows that he really did not mean it, and that hopefully you do not have to be worried so much.

[Judy246]

I think this is of concern. He said it all that he's not happy with you and you need to discuss with him why?  There are needs within the marriage that are not being met or issues that need to be discussed without the discusion turning into an argument. Also, any man that wouldn't want my children or made this type of comment, it means that deep down inside he resents them for not being his (my apology for being so blunt about this) and being in the picture. I do believe that sometimes we do say things that can come back to haunt us and I'm sure that he does care for your children, but he also knew in the beginning of the relationship that you were a package deal. I say, proceed with caution and your children always come first. Communicate effectively in regards to you concerns about the why is he unhappy with you, you concerns in regards to the children, how can you resolve any issues effecting the marriage, what are his needs that need to be address and then use your own judgement on the situation. We have that instinct that tells us when something is not right. If he is truly sorry, then forgive him and move forward with your life together, your children and the baby on the way. Good luck.

[Myown]

People sometimes say things they don't mean when they are angry, so I would let it go. Of course it hurts you right now, but he did say he didn't mean it to hurt you.
Hopefully he learned not to speak or write anything while he is mad and that lesson applies to you too because you wouldn't want to say anything out of anger and hurt him either. Forgiveness means new slate so to speak, so just erase it as if it didn't happen and if he learned his lesson it will never happen again.

I wish you and your husband the best with your new baby,
MO