advice.

[wyrpamatz]

Ok so here it goes. My husband and I live with his parents for now because we are trying to save up for a house. I cook for everyone at the house there is 5 of us. And we spend a lot of money on groceries every week so I can cook. My husband and I were talking and we came up with the conclusion of talking to his mom about buying our food separately and me cooking just for him and I because of the fact that I spend a lot of money buying food for all 5 of us. But my MIL is very sensitive and I dont want her to feel bad. Could you guys p,ease give me an example of the best way of telling my MIL that we prefer buying our food separately.

[TTinKKerBBell]

I agree with all other posters.

I would add that if You're buying food for 5 people, well that's 3 extra as You would still buy and cook for Your Husband and YourSelf.  That seems like a small "price" to pay for the Generosity You are receiving from His Family.  Might You cook more economically?  Big pots of spaghetti, chili, casseroles, etc. - things that go a long way for a crowd.  I wouldn't do or say anything that might look like You're ungrateful or unwilling to Give in return for what You are Receiving.
Your Mother-in-law is being very Generous to share Her home as Her expenses (running a home; utilities, water, etc.) are greater for 5 people than for 3.
Good Luck

[QuinnyO]

no disrespect intended, but regardless of wheter your paying rent or not - that is there house, and it looks really shadey that you'd cook only for your husband when they're letting you guys live there until you can get your own place.

you should let your Mother in law be aware that you're financially incapable of buying food for 5 people if that were the case and she should have no problem with contributing versus tip toeing around the 400 lb elephant in the room.

-because honestly if you said that to me and i were your mother in law letting you live in my house - i'd say 'if you're only gonna cook for you guys, then go cook in your own kitchen, and keep your food in your fridge - OH WAIT -  you don't have one.

keepin it 100 =] Quinn

[nursegirl6572]

Ditto sm's advice!

[specialmom]

Hi there.  How much rent do you pay to live there?  If it is low, then they may consider the help with food and cooking to be a payment for being able to live there.  At which point, that would seem reasonable you buy this food if that is how they feel like you and your husband are contributing to living there.  

I am afraid that since this is the dynamic you set up, that it would be kind of hard to change it now.  Then you have two women in the kitchen cooking and the owner of the house may say "sorry, I'm in the kitchen now so you'll have to work on "YOUR" stuff later."  Unless everyone is used to the fend for yourself system, then it gets trickier.  Perhaps a better approach is to show them what you are spending on food and see if they want to contribute.

However, again-------  if you pay low rent, they might resent that.