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Dad putting nagitive lies in our heads
Hello, I'm 14 and I live with my two parents, two older sisters and one younger brother. Lately things have been hard, for me at least. Please read all posts by me. It's ling but it explains it. I didn't get to all the things though.
Dad 44 years. He is over weight, he weighs 300lbs or so, but he won't tell me exactly. He's beyond lazy, but dose work 6/7 days a week. He eats junk food all the time and the most healthy thing I saw him eat was a apple to the side of chips. There's this red couch in the family room that he nearly lives on. He eats there, takes naps there, and sence it's right infront of the tv he turns it on the second he wakes up. But he does sleep in bed upstairs. He also handles all the money.
Mom 44 years old and she too is over weight. She dose make a small effort to loose weight but she always aims it back so she's going up and down. She's not nearly as fat as my dad and she worlks as a part time teacher. She goes to work less that I go to school, but she dose most of the house cleaning. She sleeps on the couch down stars. She also takes a TON of pain killers. It might be a simple stubbed toe so she takes a pill, I personally think she's addicted ad I've tryed telling her and she just say "oh stop it Libby!"
Oldest sister is 18. She is not over weight, although she is 5'4" and 150lbs she looks like she's 120. She will be leaving for colloge in a week. She dose not know how to spend her money wisely, wanting to always eat out with friends but she is not lazy. She sleeps a lot! But when she I awake she dose her chores and then goes out with fiends. She is understanding and helps me out a lot. I'll explain more in a sec.
Next older sister is 16. She is 130 and I think 5'5" she is very stubborn and docent relize a lot of stuff. She complains that she is fat but she's so skinny. She didn't get the gen for thunder thighs like me and oldest sister has. Anyways she ignores people all the time and to me she is sometimes slutty. Sex possession pics and posting it on facebook and wearing shirts too small for her that her but crack hanged out. I tell her that and she yells at me that there was nothing there. But I saw room for a half doller slot. She dosent understand much and wants to move out as soon as possabel and I can 100% say she won't make it.
Youngest is my brother who is 12 and going into middle school for the first time. He dosent have many friends and he watches tv all the time. He clearly dosent get enugh exercise cuz very often he with jump up and down flapping his arms. It was cute before but now he's getting to big and he's ruining our cheap house. He dosent even know he dose it. Friends, well he has a few. One friend he likes more only cuz they don't intract. They just sit there playing visor games together. Like not even same game. Like they have their own little gameboy abd they play that. Or his other friend who I personally like but David dosent like cuz his friend intracks with his too much. They'll run around the house shotting nurf guns at each other like normal boys, and then after half hour of so my brother wants to go watch a movie.
Dad 44 years. He is over weight, he weighs 300lbs or so, but he won't tell me exactly. He's beyond lazy, but dose work 6/7 days a week. He eats junk food all the time and the most healthy thing I saw him eat was a apple to the side of chips. There's this red couch in the family room that he nearly lives on. He eats there, takes naps there, and sence it's right infront of the tv he turns it on the second he wakes up. But he does sleep in bed upstairs. He also handles all the money.
Mom 44 years old and she too is over weight. She dose make a small effort to loose weight but she always aims it back so she's going up and down. She's not nearly as fat as my dad and she worlks as a part time teacher. She goes to work less that I go to school, but she dose most of the house cleaning. She sleeps on the couch down stars. She also takes a TON of pain killers. It might be a simple stubbed toe so she takes a pill, I personally think she's addicted ad I've tryed telling her and she just say "oh stop it Libby!"
Oldest sister is 18. She is not over weight, although she is 5'4" and 150lbs she looks like she's 120. She will be leaving for colloge in a week. She dose not know how to spend her money wisely, wanting to always eat out with friends but she is not lazy. She sleeps a lot! But when she I awake she dose her chores and then goes out with fiends. She is understanding and helps me out a lot. I'll explain more in a sec.
Next older sister is 16. She is 130 and I think 5'5" she is very stubborn and docent relize a lot of stuff. She complains that she is fat but she's so skinny. She didn't get the gen for thunder thighs like me and oldest sister has. Anyways she ignores people all the time and to me she is sometimes slutty. Sex possession pics and posting it on facebook and wearing shirts too small for her that her but crack hanged out. I tell her that and she yells at me that there was nothing there. But I saw room for a half doller slot. She dosent understand much and wants to move out as soon as possabel and I can 100% say she won't make it.
Youngest is my brother who is 12 and going into middle school for the first time. He dosent have many friends and he watches tv all the time. He clearly dosent get enugh exercise cuz very often he with jump up and down flapping his arms. It was cute before but now he's getting to big and he's ruining our cheap house. He dosent even know he dose it. Friends, well he has a few. One friend he likes more only cuz they don't intract. They just sit there playing visor games together. Like not even same game. Like they have their own little gameboy abd they play that. Or his other friend who I personally like but David dosent like cuz his friend intracks with his too much. They'll run around the house shotting nurf guns at each other like normal boys, and then after half hour of so my brother wants to go watch a movie.
Thanks, I'll try to get my brother to do more. We can't shoot hoops now (dad knocked that over cuz he was angry) and sadly we have 5 broken bikes and 1 working bike. I do have a aunt and uncle not to far away. Thanks a bunch.
I agree with sweet pea. The whole thing sounds very difficult, more than any 14-year-old should be expected to solve or even try to be responsible for. Being stuck in a family situation that you can't fix is one of the precursors for young women being anorexic, and (oddly enough, because it doesn't sound logical, for young men becoming rapists). I know you would like to rescue your brother, but it is not your fault that things are like this and really isn't your responsibility to fix, either. It will definitely take more than you. It is your parents' patterns that create the issues, but they sound like they have abdicated as adults and as parents, and are just stuck in their patterns. (I don't suppose there is any way to suggest to them that the whole family should go into counseling, is there?) Failing them taking the responsibility and working to fix things, is there a way to rescue yourself? That is why I was agreeing with sweetpea. An aunt, a cousin family, somewhere you can live? I know that doesn't save your brother, but it would take your parents making a lot of changes, to help your brother. My only other suggestion is to engage your brother, take him outside and play basketball, and things like that, so he can have the pleasure of healthy movement and maybe will be less interested in just sitting around. I'm sure sorry this is happening for you. Soon you'll be able to be out of it, and maybe swimming will provide your route. Good luck to you in every way.
There really isn't much you can do for your dad, a lot of it has to be his own will power to change. Though I think it might be better if you can stay somewhere else for a little bit. Do you have other family close by? I don't see your living condition as very healthy.
Interaction between the family. Btw there's no alcohol involved. So here's a tipical day.
Dad gets up early and goes to work. He might say bye to the kids and ask if they need him to pick up something. I wake up before mom and eat breakfast. Mom wakes up after me and then she tells mento eat breakfast, well I just did and I'm read to go to swimming. So I go swimming and mom always picks me up late. Never has there been I time I didn't have to wait a long time. Swimming ends at 9:30 she knows that and often we go to 9:45. So now I just walk home witch isn't that far. So I'm fine. I get home and get a snack, and older sister (not the oldest) her names Abby btw, so Abby is up and on facebook. I go to my room and text or sometimes take a nap. I'm not a fan of tv. So then later I get lunch, when my brother, David, (sorry for telling you names now and not sooner) he's just comeing down at 2pm to eat breakfast. As he always eat, in front of the tv. Mom yells at me to eat lunch, and how I should have 4 healthy full meals a day. 4!? Yes I am expected to eat 4 meals, not including snack but no one else dose so I eat 3 meals and 2 snacks. So then I get so annoyed be cuz I had 2 meals and 1 snack while David is busy eating his first! So I ask, "why don't you ever lexure David about eating three full meals a day?" and she just laughes at me, "hah! I'm talking to you not him!" I just walk away and hid in my room. Later it my tummy tells me it's time for pm snack. I go downstars and david is watching tv eating his AM snack. But it's like 4pm. Anyways so Abby is still on facebook and moms ussaly in the kitchen talking on the phone. If I come down not looking perfect my mom will say, "ya, libbys just comeing down here in her pjs *sigh**giggles*" she even looks me in the eye. I hate when people talk about me like I dont know they are. So she talks on the phone and stars at me and grins her teeth at me. It's annoying and I wave my hand to get her to look elsewhere. Maybe I'm just a teen but I hate when people look at me. Even if they're not looking AT me if they look somewhat in my direction I can't get kind of angry. So I sit down and eat my snack. Then mom trys shoving food at me. "here! Eat my chicken burito!" "what do you want? I'll make you it?" although it's not direct but when she dose it she's also talking about dieting and eating less to diet. Quick note, I'm 5'5" and 110lbs. I was once 95 and I want to starve myself again. But I won't cuz I want to be good at swimming. So I eat healthy. Fruits veggies protiens fiber everything. I know it all and I do my best to get the right amount. So sence I really haven't talked to anyone the whole day, as everyday I feel lonely. Mom watches me, as I eat the whole box of chokolate bars and talks about "oh! I lost 5 pounds in two weeks just by walking a hour a day." she looks at me "I never eat chocolate or over eat," she laughes and it makes ms want to throw the food at her and not leave. The only way I can get her to leave me alone is if I eat it. If I binge horably infront of her! All the while talking about diet and her kids, me. I hate it! I tell her to stop "don't yell at me like that! ...oh ya, libbys just having a fit." she makes it sound so normal! That's why her friends all think I have problems! I don't! I'm 14!!! Anyways so I binge and feel horable. My stomach hurts and by the time dinner comes, (sence I'm so used to counting calories) I might already be up to 3,000. I've gotten better at bingeing on carrots or something like that. Anyways after snack Abby is off facebook and up stars practicing guitar and david's still watching tv. Kaiti, the oldest is comeing up from the basement were her room is and ussaly says something like "I'm going to the mall" or "I'm going to buffalow wildwings with so and so" so atleast she tells us were she's going and with who and a be back time. She always has her phone on her so we can contacke her. Mom just says "ok, bye" then the really battle begeins. After going in my room until dinner I come down. David is still watching tv and his lunch mess is out. Mom-"David what do you want for dinner?" David-"uh, I'm not hungry." mom-"okay *walks away*" so then mom makes something, I might suggest it. If she dose make something I will eat, if she dosent and just tells us were on our own I ussaly take a snack sized, by then David turns off the tv. cuz of the binge before my stomach still hurts. Dad comes home, huffing and puffing from walking from the car to the door and to the couch. He sits down and turns on the tv. David comes and sits down and watches tv with dad. Ok, this is confusing btw I'm here just watching it happen.
Mom-"David. Come eat dinner" (meaning stop watching tv)
David-"urrm"
Mom-*sigh and eye roll* "Jeff can you turn off the tv?"
Dad-.....
Mom-walks away. Comes back after some time and dad and David and both eating chips. She looks around and is frustrated with David.
S
Dad-"what joy!"
Mom-"david's been watching tv all day and he needs to eat dinner"
David-liking his salty/cheesey fingers, "I'm not hungry"
Mom-sigh and about to speak...
Dad-to David "you mom always yells dosent she"
Mom-"not true, he's been watching..."
Dad-to David still "it never ends dose it,"
Mom-"Jeff please stop."
David-"ya mom you always yell"
Dad-"see the kids think so"
Mom-deep breath "Jeff, I don't not like it when you say things about me that admit true.."
Dad-whinny "stop joy! Your always yelling! It's abusive and I don't like it!" to David "David, she's never going to stop. She dose this everyday.......blahblah" ect
So thngs are that my dad puts things in our heads that my mom is verbally abusive. Thing is I had my dad atck me before when I almost broke david's foot. I was I think 6, and I apologized to David and he gave me a hug and accepted. Later though dad came storming in my room, clomping up the stars. I was so scared I froze up then made a dash to hid. It was to late and he flu ng the door open and started screaming "You almost broke your brothers foot!!! Your gonna pay for that!!" he was on top of me, although I wasn't sure what happened cuz I just closed my eyes, started kicking and flaying my arms around and screaming as loud as I could. I think my mom came, what happened after was worse. He never apologized. David felt bad so he gave me a pokémon card to make me feel better and then we had a "sleep over". Another time, not to long ago he threw a hamer at me. We were fixing the screen door together and he got mad cuz I didn't know what "that" ment so he them a hammer at me. It didn't hit me but I did leave a dent in the cement.
Back to putting thoughts into our heads, me and kaiti seam to be the only ones who notice. Mom sort of, but she and I have a hard time communicating. Ussaly talking to kaiti and then having her tell mom works. I tell Abby it's gonna get all messed up. Abby seams oblivious and unaffected my dads ideas about mom. She is almost like my dad. I was once a victim of his lies. After mrs time with mom and less with dad I see it as a horable thing. David, having slight autstice (very slight) and spacy he is trapped. Dad en eccurages him to watch tv. I live my little brother and I don't know how to help him. He likes when I take him for bike rides. But dad says that eating fried foods and watching tv for two hours after eating gives your stomach to digest it. True for two hours food spend in your stomach befor moving on, but he warps facts. Fried foods are horrible! The only reason why they go threw so fast is it's so bad that your body trys to get it out.
So how can I help my brother and maybe help my dad? Btw he's a horder and I want to tLk to him about getting ride of the 7 broken key boards we have in the basment. And more
Dad gets up early and goes to work. He might say bye to the kids and ask if they need him to pick up something. I wake up before mom and eat breakfast. Mom wakes up after me and then she tells mento eat breakfast, well I just did and I'm read to go to swimming. So I go swimming and mom always picks me up late. Never has there been I time I didn't have to wait a long time. Swimming ends at 9:30 she knows that and often we go to 9:45. So now I just walk home witch isn't that far. So I'm fine. I get home and get a snack, and older sister (not the oldest) her names Abby btw, so Abby is up and on facebook. I go to my room and text or sometimes take a nap. I'm not a fan of tv. So then later I get lunch, when my brother, David, (sorry for telling you names now and not sooner) he's just comeing down at 2pm to eat breakfast. As he always eat, in front of the tv. Mom yells at me to eat lunch, and how I should have 4 healthy full meals a day. 4!? Yes I am expected to eat 4 meals, not including snack but no one else dose so I eat 3 meals and 2 snacks. So then I get so annoyed be cuz I had 2 meals and 1 snack while David is busy eating his first! So I ask, "why don't you ever lexure David about eating three full meals a day?" and she just laughes at me, "hah! I'm talking to you not him!" I just walk away and hid in my room. Later it my tummy tells me it's time for pm snack. I go downstars and david is watching tv eating his AM snack. But it's like 4pm. Anyways so Abby is still on facebook and moms ussaly in the kitchen talking on the phone. If I come down not looking perfect my mom will say, "ya, libbys just comeing down here in her pjs *sigh**giggles*" she even looks me in the eye. I hate when people talk about me like I dont know they are. So she talks on the phone and stars at me and grins her teeth at me. It's annoying and I wave my hand to get her to look elsewhere. Maybe I'm just a teen but I hate when people look at me. Even if they're not looking AT me if they look somewhat in my direction I can't get kind of angry. So I sit down and eat my snack. Then mom trys shoving food at me. "here! Eat my chicken burito!" "what do you want? I'll make you it?" although it's not direct but when she dose it she's also talking about dieting and eating less to diet. Quick note, I'm 5'5" and 110lbs. I was once 95 and I want to starve myself again. But I won't cuz I want to be good at swimming. So I eat healthy. Fruits veggies protiens fiber everything. I know it all and I do my best to get the right amount. So sence I really haven't talked to anyone the whole day, as everyday I feel lonely. Mom watches me, as I eat the whole box of chokolate bars and talks about "oh! I lost 5 pounds in two weeks just by walking a hour a day." she looks at me "I never eat chocolate or over eat," she laughes and it makes ms want to throw the food at her and not leave. The only way I can get her to leave me alone is if I eat it. If I binge horably infront of her! All the while talking about diet and her kids, me. I hate it! I tell her to stop "don't yell at me like that! ...oh ya, libbys just having a fit." she makes it sound so normal! That's why her friends all think I have problems! I don't! I'm 14!!! Anyways so I binge and feel horable. My stomach hurts and by the time dinner comes, (sence I'm so used to counting calories) I might already be up to 3,000. I've gotten better at bingeing on carrots or something like that. Anyways after snack Abby is off facebook and up stars practicing guitar and david's still watching tv. Kaiti, the oldest is comeing up from the basement were her room is and ussaly says something like "I'm going to the mall" or "I'm going to buffalow wildwings with so and so" so atleast she tells us were she's going and with who and a be back time. She always has her phone on her so we can contacke her. Mom just says "ok, bye" then the really battle begeins. After going in my room until dinner I come down. David is still watching tv and his lunch mess is out. Mom-"David what do you want for dinner?" David-"uh, I'm not hungry." mom-"okay *walks away*" so then mom makes something, I might suggest it. If she dose make something I will eat, if she dosent and just tells us were on our own I ussaly take a snack sized, by then David turns off the tv. cuz of the binge before my stomach still hurts. Dad comes home, huffing and puffing from walking from the car to the door and to the couch. He sits down and turns on the tv. David comes and sits down and watches tv with dad. Ok, this is confusing btw I'm here just watching it happen.
Mom-"David. Come eat dinner" (meaning stop watching tv)
David-"urrm"
Mom-*sigh and eye roll* "Jeff can you turn off the tv?"
Dad-.....
Mom-walks away. Comes back after some time and dad and David and both eating chips. She looks around and is frustrated with David.
S
Dad-"what joy!"
Mom-"david's been watching tv all day and he needs to eat dinner"
David-liking his salty/cheesey fingers, "I'm not hungry"
Mom-sigh and about to speak...
Dad-to David "you mom always yells dosent she"
Mom-"not true, he's been watching..."
Dad-to David still "it never ends dose it,"
Mom-"Jeff please stop."
David-"ya mom you always yell"
Dad-"see the kids think so"
Mom-deep breath "Jeff, I don't not like it when you say things about me that admit true.."
Dad-whinny "stop joy! Your always yelling! It's abusive and I don't like it!" to David "David, she's never going to stop. She dose this everyday.......blahblah" ect
So thngs are that my dad puts things in our heads that my mom is verbally abusive. Thing is I had my dad atck me before when I almost broke david's foot. I was I think 6, and I apologized to David and he gave me a hug and accepted. Later though dad came storming in my room, clomping up the stars. I was so scared I froze up then made a dash to hid. It was to late and he flu ng the door open and started screaming "You almost broke your brothers foot!!! Your gonna pay for that!!" he was on top of me, although I wasn't sure what happened cuz I just closed my eyes, started kicking and flaying my arms around and screaming as loud as I could. I think my mom came, what happened after was worse. He never apologized. David felt bad so he gave me a pokémon card to make me feel better and then we had a "sleep over". Another time, not to long ago he threw a hamer at me. We were fixing the screen door together and he got mad cuz I didn't know what "that" ment so he them a hammer at me. It didn't hit me but I did leave a dent in the cement.
Back to putting thoughts into our heads, me and kaiti seam to be the only ones who notice. Mom sort of, but she and I have a hard time communicating. Ussaly talking to kaiti and then having her tell mom works. I tell Abby it's gonna get all messed up. Abby seams oblivious and unaffected my dads ideas about mom. She is almost like my dad. I was once a victim of his lies. After mrs time with mom and less with dad I see it as a horable thing. David, having slight autstice (very slight) and spacy he is trapped. Dad en eccurages him to watch tv. I live my little brother and I don't know how to help him. He likes when I take him for bike rides. But dad says that eating fried foods and watching tv for two hours after eating gives your stomach to digest it. True for two hours food spend in your stomach befor moving on, but he warps facts. Fried foods are horrible! The only reason why they go threw so fast is it's so bad that your body trys to get it out.
So how can I help my brother and maybe help my dad? Btw he's a horder and I want to tLk to him about getting ride of the 7 broken key boards we have in the basment. And more
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