How to get my hubsand to move out of in laws home

[Ann_1992__]

I cant take it anymore living with both my MIL and FIL they are making my life hell. Firstly when i joined the family his brother and his wife used to come around EVERY DAY to eat and they were VERY horrible to me especially his wife - i felt like i was being bullied like a school kid even resulted in her physically pushing me and no one done nothing about it because they was off to Umraah together for a whole week and didnt want their time to be ''awkward'' which is NOT acceptable. This continued until i made my husband say that we would move out if they continue coming which only lasted a month sadly !!  MIL makes my life hard makes up stories as well does not allow me to cook, purposely locks the door when she knows what time i will be returning from work, i get ignored by both MIL and FIL when i tried to say hello. MANY MANY more issues in that house hold. It is a VERY negative environment and i HATE it !!!  
I have spoken to my husband but he does not want to leave keeps saying you need to settle in. Now i have heard from  3 different mouths that my MIL is trying to tell people to persuade my husband to stay in the house NOT because they want their son they are worried how they will pay rent without him !
i cannot deal with this no more i am now 4months pregnant and i cannot deal with this no more, i feel like there are only 2 options either i leave or die i cannot cope anymore it is too much and i am worried it will cause harm to my unborn baby i just want to leave before my baby is born

[specialmom]

My suggestion is if you call and make this contact that you do not share it.  Just for your safety.  In some cultures, women are treated very badly, sometimes they are made to leave the home while the children stay, etc. and we don't want that to happen to you.  I would keep your 'escape' route to yourself until the last minute for your protection.  Let us know what the crisis center says.  We'll be thinking of you.  This sounds like an intolerable situation and you sound like a smart women who knows this can't go on.  Anniebrooke did a great job providing a crisis place for you to contact!  Let us know how it goes!

[Ann_1992__]

I contacted the crisis centre but they was saying when the child is born to approach them again. But they wanted to go to the police n that’s not a route I want - they contacted my parents his mum n dad n told on my bad behaviour & it was reallly bad I’m so stuck now ! I knew this would happen !!

[Mae072017]

I would make sure your spouse knows how you’re feeling and how serious your feelings are and if he does not care then I would try to compile your resources and be separated if not divorced.

[AnnieBrooke]

If you are in a traditionalist country, what are your options? Some are more strict on issues like divorce than others. I would certainly not put up with being the person whose happiness and sanity is sacrificed for the in-laws who are horrible to me, especially when pregnant! But I am in the U.S. where a woman (even one who is pregnant) can walk out on an unhappy situation and there is little social stigma. (In fact, there is sympathy and some support if she can find it, such as women's shelters.) Your mentioning Umraah makes me feel less able to offer you intelligent suggestions because I don't know what is culturally acceptable for you. That said, however, your choice of leave or die, means you must leave. Do not die over people who are not worth it. Your duty to your child trumps your duty to any other family member.

[Ann_1992__]

I’m living in London im so unhappy here I just don’t know where to go or where to turn to. I know if I go back to my parents home they will convince me to go back to him because it is frowned upon. I really don’t know :(

[AnnieBrooke]

What about if you went to your parents "for a while" or "for a visit"? At least you could talk to them then, and explain how serious the situation has become for you. If it is really life or death, as you describe, it might surprise you that they will be helpful and not pressure you.

In a big city like London, there must be women's services, possibly even ones geared to women of your cultural background. I would not hesitate to look one up and at least find someone to talk to.

[AnnieBrooke]

Call the Family Safety Program at the Muslim Resource Center. That is just one, I simply googled "Women's Crisis Center London Muslim." There were other resources including hot lines. Please reach out.

[Ann_1992__]

THANK YOU VERY MUCH for your idea of calling the family saftey programme i am going to call them today ! You have helped me out soo much i will call them and see if they can help me in any way !
i can go to my parents for a while but i know eventually i have to return there because of ''social stigma'' we live in the 21st century but asian community acts like we are still cavemen !

[AnnieBrooke]

As I said, there are other help lines and resources, also. I merely googled the phrase I wrote above, but the Muslim Resource Center looked like a pretty solid outfit with a lot of resources. Please do as specialmom says and keep your plans to yourself. Especially you do not want to lose custody of your child, or open yourself to a more egregious attack from your in-laws.

[Ann_1992__]

I tried to speak up , what they did was inform my parents about my “ behaviours “ & how I wasn’t talking to them & pissed off my parents & I got
basically a “ telling off” from his dad in front of mine I felt like a child !

I can’t believe they actually said I wasn’t talking to them n this n that ! & also told me I’m not allowed to lock my room door wen I go to work