insecurities or instinct being right ?

[newmommy1217]

hey everyone :)

a couple months ago actually throughout my pregnancy I've asked/blogged about my current boyfriend ''baby daddy''. usually it's about me thinking he's cheating or not interested in me anymore seeing as i'm SUPER pregnant and do NOT feel sexy at all. i feel like we lost a lot of our ''spark'' and i don't know what to do at times because we feel so distant. well today, as i was getting our daughters room ready for her arrival..he made a joke about how a girl gave him her number and instead of saying he's taken or even bringing up his daughter he decided to ''pretend'' to take the number down. now the thing that's not sitting well w/ me is that he not only he didn't say he was taken and the fact that he said he pretended to take the number down but that he knew her liscense plate and where she was from. to me that's not something that if she was just hitting on you and you weren't interested her you wouldn't know that.. i mean i guess you could but why is that necessary ? i get it that i do sound a little crazy but to make matters even worse a week ago we were eating dinner and he always checks girls out to the point where i notice her too. i was trying to show him something on my phone and instead of him looking at my screen he completely ignored what i was saying and looked at the chick. it bothered me so bad because i have been extremely easy on him about my feelings and things like that, i cried. as soon as he realized that this situation is a little bit more than on the surface and it bothers me he became mad and defensive. i just don't know what to think about all of this. he has been trying to not only bring other girls up but not even look at porn. (which is a big deal because it's an everyday thing w/ him) that was another issue of ours.. he would constantly look at porn to the point where between checking other girls out and seeing porn stars that i dont and will NEVER look like got his attention over me. that's not cool in a relationship.. i know guys watch porn and are wired to be extremely sexual BUT there's a level of respect and instead of going into detail that line was crossed over and over again. i guess it's safe to say that i feel neglected, insecure and not worth his time. but my title to this question or rant was is this really a big deal.. is he not interested ? is he showing me that we might not be compatiable or that there's something missing ... or am i blowing this out of proportion due to being insecure, hormonal/ preggers. i just feel like it's not fair if i say yeah it's just my hormones because i think any female would feel upset in this situation.


please let me know your thoughts!

[newmommy1217]

Im so happy not only one person but two people got back to me so fast before I let it blow up! haha but yes, i think that @specialmom is 100% correct and I never looked at it that way. I am very happy that I'm w/ my boyfriend and feel so proud to have a daughter w/ him because he is the love of my life. I also do appreciate your advice as well @brock2222 because of your prospective as a male lol. it's good to hear your opinion and i do agree that i think since ive been preggers i have been more concentrated about the baby, money, family, my health and just being a new mommy. i guess when it comes down to it im more or less asking him if he's happy, ready, his opinion about the baby, me, etc. before we got pregnant we had really communication and talked about everything under the sun. i will take both of your opinions/advice to heart and try to work out this internal issue and the whole situation w/ my boyfriend :) thank you so much for understanding and not judging! you don't understand how much i appreciate the kind words.

[brock2222]

It is clear that your boyfriend is missing the attention that you normally give him. As a red blooded male I look, but definatley do not touch. I think specialmom may have hit the nail on the head this time.
It is hormonal, he is not cheating. Throw a bit of extra attention his way, it will pay dividends.

[specialmom]

Hi there!  Well, first----  happy pregnancy.  This is a special time in your life.  I understand how one feels when pregnant and often it is not sexy however, what you may not realize is that many men find pregnant women very attractive.  I didn't feel super into sex during pregnancy and was pretty tired afterwards when the baby was born.  I did get pregnant a second time right away and then wowie, the exhaustion was front and center.  Not to mention it was hard to feel terribly 'hot' when I had baby food on the front of my shirt and a diaper bag over my arm.  BUT, my husband took what I had to give and waited until my um pa pa came back (which it did).  

Because sweetie, your partner is equally as excited as you about the baby you are carrying.  So, have faith in that.

Now, the girl's number.  Well, he told you about it.  I guess I'd want my husband to say "buzz off" if a woman offered her number but he chose not to.  But he DID choose to tell you about it which would make me think he has no intentions.  He probably thought it was funny.  

Now, don't get mad----  but I do think your hormones are making things feel worse right now.  Be proud----  you are carrying this man's child!!  that is very special.   I did a lot of journaling when I was pregnant and took long walks to cool off.  Try not to let your mind 'spin'.  

If there are other things happening----  okay.  Let us know.  But just looking at a girl and having someone provide their number to him----  I'd say you are in the clear and just letting your insecurity take over.  All men do look occasionally (and they should try not to be obvious about it--- they should be considerate) and it means NOTHING!

Okay?  I hope I helped a little bit.  I've been in your shoes and it is all normal but hold your head up high as you're the mama of his baby!