As the plot thickens..

[MsCammi]

I met this man on Badoo (Meet New People Website). From the very first day we spoke I expressed to him that I wanted to make friends. Nothing more, nothing less.

At this point of my life I do not want a relationship what so ever. My next relationship..I want it to be my last. I no longer want to waste time with anyone else..BUT that's besides the point.

So despite all that he began to like me, and slowly but surely I began to feel for him too. Though I have these feelings I still stand by my decision. I have only known him since the last week of April of this year...



        I've visited him several times now, we've had our outings, and even plan to see a movie together later this week.

In the past  six weeks despite my "Plea" for friendship...we have had oral sex... we kiss..hold hands..cuddle...

HE might as well be my boyfriend huh?

                                  I have never moved so quickly with anybody...period.  

I really really like him, but don't desire for anything further at this point (Commitment wise). I'm confusing myself to the point where I can't say "Well he's my friend." because he's a little beyond that now.

Maybe I'm over-thinking US, and what we do ..and it's completely harmless... but Still...There are times when he will too reveal to me that he's confused about "how he feels."

I recently asked him this, he says, "I still very much like you, I care about you, but I'm honestly confused about your placement in my life."....I too am the same...so I figure ...okay lets hang out more..figure out how we "mold together?"

In my gut...I know one of these "hang out days" will end in intimacy and I feel that it will HURT things....though we connect so well on so many levels...

                        I need a little guidance here?? I'm not sure what I need exactly. I need an outsider.

Stray Away?

                       He's 27, I am 23.

[AnnieBrooke]

I'm not sure it sounds like you want a relationship, it sounds more like you want someone to be around who makes you feel a bit special, without having to work too hard to get it.  Hate to say it, but a guy friend once told me that in the modern world, guys aren't willing to hang around in the long term unless they think there will be some sex forthcoming.  If you're subconsciously aware of this and giving the benefits just so he'll stick around to make you feel good, that kind of explains your story.  It's not entirely fair to the guy, though, if he in fact wants a relationship (with someone).  If there is no chance for a complete relationship with you, you should let him know so he can decide if this is just a waste of time.  Of course, I can see that you don't want to give him this opening because he might go away, but if you are just using him to boost your ego (and hiding this by being "confused"), you should probably be a little more honest with him and tell him there is no chance of a full relationship with you, and that you don't want more sex either.  Then he can decide what he is there for, and stay or go.

[babyberry000]

It sounds like you want a relationship without the title.
There is such thing as dating not exclusivley & having an open relationship.
I know you say you don't want one but actions speak louder than words, you went wrong by not defining the relationship and setting boundries early on.
If you don't want a relationship break it off,
If you want to keep doing what your doing it's called an open relationship , just so you know. It's as easy as that, don't make it more complicated than it has to be

[MsCammi]

Though I'm making a terrible point of it...I really and truly don't want anything physical with anyone. It was one of those stupid things that I'm shaking my head at myself for that should have NEVER happened.

Honestly at the end of the day...I enjoy his conversation,sense of humor, and the person he is in general. The rest of that is BEYOND Un-needed. .

I have honestly never done anything physical with someone I am not in a relationship with...This is a first time for me.

I don't really want to cut him out my life to be honest with you...I kind of want him to stick around....Maybe I should and it would be for the best.

I know at the end of the day its my decision, but I also know how I feel about him at this time...who knows how I would feel after some more time.

Hm...

Thank you to you all.

[TTinKKerBBell]

So agree with AnnieBrooke

I fail to understand how You think this will "end" in "intimacy" and that it will "HURT things"  

My reaction is:   ?? !! ?? !!

and my question is:   What in the world could be more 'intimate' than taking one's genitals in Your mouth??  Are You saying that intercourse is MORE intimate than that?? ??  !! !!

I Truly Don't Get That.

I'm pretty certain You don't have oral sex with Your Female Friends, how is it okay to have oral sex with Male Friends??

I Truly Don't Get That Either.

Intercourse and Oral Sex(BOTH) are(SHOULD be)  Revered and Reserved for a Meaningful Relationship.

[AnnieBrooke]

In my world, if I don't want a relationship, I don't have sex (and oral sex is sex, what do you think it is, shaking hands?) and I don't kiss.  Those things are, emotionally speaking, part of the relationship package, not the friendship package, and they tend to really muddy the waters if you really don't have an intention of going long-term with someone.  Please stop seeing this guy if you can't figure out how to say no to casual sexual stimulation.

[MsCammi]

I was just up late one night, I made a profile, I never thought things would journey as far they have now. We never "agreed" to a benefits anything. He simply wanted to "return the favor" and I didn't exactly stop him or tell him no. I kind of let it happen.

I also can't lie and say I didn't want it lol

I honestly don't think any kind of commitment will happen between us anytime soon, I do really enjoy his company, and I have other friends I hang out with, he just happens to be one of them...

[thirdtimemum]

A little confused wondering why you were on a dating website if you didn't want a relationship? Did you just want a partner for dinners or movies etc? Because there's always that chance that it could turn into more, you know.
Probably wasn't a good idea engaging in oral sex either if you had just wanted to keep it platonic as friends, unless this was something you guys had agreed on, friends with benefits kind of thing. It's only natural that if you guys are hanging out a lot together you're going to develop feelings for each other.
I'd say that if you are truly not ready to be in a relationship end the relationship now, and maybe find some more girlfriends to hang out with instead of a guy so there's no chance of you starting something like a relationship which is exactly what you don't want.