stuck in a rut???

[croydonvic]

i been with this guy for 3yrs mainly on more then off and recently his become distant, i found him using a swingers website so i joined it and chatted with him. he said that the sex was boring but he wasn't bored of me anyway i told him it was mme after he'd arranged to meet this unknown girl for sex, so i suggested a few things and i went out and brought things to spice it up but its still as boring and its now at the stage where we have sex and its in one postion and i never get to climax he does then gets off and thats it, he never wants to buy anything to spice it up nor suggests anything, then recently i got laid off work due to the credit crunch and since my monthly salary gone from over a grand to just 400 his gone even more funny, today his come in from work not really even spoke to me no kiss or how are you nothing dont even want his dinner and im getting just one or two woords from him, yet his been on the phone to his mate for an hour talking all fine and now its back to the silence and his in a foul mood so i asked what was up and got my head bitten off this is all over that i didnt pay out for him to have a bag of smoke. im not working he is and im expected to pay out all the time his had all my savings and im broke and i moved house for him got rid of my dog my friends, is it me or does it look like his taking the **** and dont want me or what cos im sick of sitting in silence and being sat to scared to say anything this is not a relationship its like im a maid i do everything for him cook clean wahing the lot i pay half the bills and im not getting nothing back not even a orgasm!! i dunno what to do, so was he just using me and now wants rid or does he love me.

[jo929]

You sound like you could use some help call a place that will take you in and help you straighten your life out there are plenty of places call the hotline or operator, sounds like you ned to get out fast  luck  jo

[Jennifer1987]

I agree with Judy, I was with a cheating partner and I swear Im way better off with out him...... If he agreed to met someone else for sex what makes you think he hasn't done it  already???? Dump him before he drives you crazy!

[Judy246]

I find his behavior with this swingers website and risky behavior of arranging sex with an unknown girl simply unexceptable and I would have dumped him on the spot.
It's obvious that there is a problem with intimacy for him to seek it elsewhere! I also think he has been unfaithful or is very high risk for infidelity or risky "quicky" sex, putting you at risk for an STD.  I also feel the financial burden is causing him stress and he is lashing out. He is sending you a message that he's not happy in the relationship right now. "Bag of smoke"...sorry, is this weed or cigarets? Concerned if it's illegal, because this would be unecessary waist of money.  Communication is key in a relationship, so it's time to discuss what are the problems and what needs to be done to resolve them even if it means re-evaluate the relationship. Good Luck, Judy