whats going on???

[lotsamommy5]

okay so me an my boyfriend have been together about a year an a half. He is 11years older then me but we hit it off from the begining an our relationship was great our sex life was awsome, i couldnt be happier. He use to nag me about him putting a ring on my finger (little to say when i talk about it now he completely avoids the conversationan he says its to expensive an we should wait until im not pregnant anymore(which was fine with me i didnt want to get married pregnant but why hasnt he at least asked me? an he use to joke with my family he was going to get me pregnant well about 9mths into our relationship i get pregnant. i was scared but excited he the same i believe.  (he does have 2 children with his ex wife an i do have 3 with my ex) anyways ever since i started showing our relationship has felt like it is going down hill. i mean sometime i feel like he is cheating but then other times i just feel like it is the pregnancy getting to me. I mean everyngiht we do what we always have from the begining we snuggle up on the couch together an watch our shows. but i guess its the littel things that gets to me he use to text me a thousand times a day with littel messages liek i love you i miss you kisses an your so beautiful...an so forth. but now he doesnt ever do it anymore. an when i text him he wont text back. he is complaining he just isnt getting the work an he is getting stressed out financially but he is leaving the house around 8-9am an not coming home til 7pm. some days he is dirty an others he just looks like he did when he left in the morning.an another problem is our sex life. it was at its best but since i have started showing(once again) we barely have sex ever. maybe once everyother week an i have to make the move(not like him at all) i knew from the begining he was a little superficial but i fee like all this is because im pregnant now. my biggest problem is he never talks about the baby. we went for our ultrasound an he sat back in a chair in the back of the room an really didnt say anything at all. i try to talk to him about the baby moving an an just kinda blows off the conversation. but at times(not very much) he will rub my belly an say hows our baby treating you mommy? or if he so happens to have his hand on my side an the baby moves he acts like he wants to get excited over feeling it but then he turns it into thats cool an shhhhh what t.v...im going crazy i am so confused. but anytime we go anywhere he wont let me carry anything an we do have a daughter who just tunred one in february(she's actually just mine but he has taken her in an as far as she knows he is daddy she knows no other. plus he doesnt want her to it upsets him to think her dad might end up coming around down the road.) sweet right thats what i thought but def. just dont know what to think about the rest of his actions an attitude an everything else. could he be seeing someone else or  does he just not know how to handle the pregnancy? (remember his kids are 17 an 14)  Some one please help me im so confussed an i dont want to be in a relationship thats not worth it my being my last relationship was 9years an 3 kids later an i regret it lasting that long.....someone help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[specialmom]

Okay.  Well, I still think that you need to talk to him and really do some soul searching about what you want your life to look like.  Try to get on the same page with him and hopefully it will all work out.  But communication is key.  You've got a child on the way now.  I wish you much luck in working through this.  

[lotsamommy5]

no no no our little girl we already have isnt really his she was just a month old when we got together an he has been there for her since hte only mna in her life so we say she belongs to him we got pregnant about 9mths into our relationship..

[specialmom]

Oh my.  Your hands are full.  While I am tempted to ask you about the pregnancies before marriage . . . I'll try not to.  (maybe not good thinking?)  But you already have a baby and another on the way and enought to show in a year and a half? You must have gotten pregnant on your first couple of dates.  But all of that is water under the bridge.

I guess though, this is the problem of having a child with someone you aren't married to.  You begin to wonder if they ever will want to.  I don't know if he will or not but I guess you need to have some heart to heart discussions with him

Also, some sould searching conversations with yourself for how you got into this situation.  No judgement but this must be really hard and obviously, is not idea.  


Talk to him.  I feel funny saying don't get married to just get married/ make sure he is going to be a committed and loving partner . . . two kids later.  But I guess that advice still stands.  I wish you all of the best luck there is!  Happy pregnancy.