Non Small Cell Lung Cancer Average Length of Life Expectancy and Growth Speed

[tompkin44]

My dad was diagnosed with NSCLC stage Iv and died one month later.  What is the average rate for which this cancer grows?  For example, did he probable get it about one month, six months or one year prior?
Thank You

[hm05]

Good day All...  I want to say to you both that, these discussions are great.  It really is a comfort to me to know
you both have either been through it or are going through it.
I want to talk about patience...
Debbie has mentioned it a few times, and I now can see why.
I have been taking care of my mom days, from 8am-6pm daily.
I am the caregiver.  I do it all.  I am constantly asking
God to provide me with patience. I need to remember that my Mother did not ask to be this way, whatever is to be, is to be, and this is what fate came her way, why? I am not quite sure, but I think now the why's are not as important as the fact that what is, JUST IS.  I have been experiencing moments of "removal of self" so as to not be me, but more of an "outsider" a "good samaritan" if you will.  I try to forget about all the anger, fights, hate, distain, I have felt in the past toward my Mom for whatever reason.  I am trying to focus on all the great and wonderful times when love and happiness were all around us. How soon we forget!  We as women know that the relationship we have with our parents-especially our Mothers---is very complex.  So while I am changing her, or bathing her, or feeding her, I try to
remember that, those things really do not matter now.  I put all that aside to deal with the here and now.  I am challenged to NOT get emotional, but it is so monumental!  THIS IS MY MOTHER!!! I am so angry that this
is happening to her, and sometimes it is too much to bear. But I never blame GOD-I realize that there is a divine plan for all of us, and when it is I
put myself in a position to love her, and forget all about myself.  This is the only way to get through it.  Sadly, she
is asking me-"why am I not getting better?"  And that
"something is really wrong with me, huh?"  I tell her, do
not worry.  I am here for you, and should you decide that
you can not go on this way, God will be there to assist you.
I also tell her, not to worry because my Father will be
waiting for her when she is ready, as he just died himself, three months ago, suddenly.  We all take our parents for granted, I know I did.  That is why now patience is my
primary goal.  All I need is patience to make her less
scared and to feel good about the time when she does go,
so I won't have to spend my life saddened about how I
treated her.

[tompkin44]

Yes facing the unknown is hard.  I don't know what your faith is but as you probably read both my father and I have come to believe that Jesus Christ was God, that he died on the cross for our sins and rose again to show that He conquered death, that by faith we accept this free gift.  I am simply holding this out to you, not trying to be forcefull in any way.

Maybe if you asked the time frame for yourself, not to share with your mom, it will help you to be more patient when times get difficult.  Also, hospice was a very good support system for both info and a partner going through this.  I am sorry you have to face this, one thing a lung doctor said to my dad after my dad asked him directly if he was dying has stuck in my mind, he said, "John, you are dying the day you are born."  That is so true when you think about it.  Sincerely, Debbie

[Mur]

My Mom has been on Tarceva for 6 months already. I am trying to be as supportive as possible helping her in any way I can. I don't think she would be prepared to stop the Tarceva because that would be like "giving up", and she isn't prepared to do that yet. So, as all of you know, we take one day at a time and deal with things as they happen. I really wouldn't want the doctor to give her a time frame because that might bring her down even more. Even though the "unknown" is hard, the "known" might be harder.

[tompkin44]

MUR:  If the side effects of Tarceva are really bothering your mom, ask her oncologist what the exact benefits are.  I hate to be so blunt, but ask how much more time this drug will afford her.  From all I read Stage IV is usuall a 6-8 month stage, ask specificall what they think.  I also see alot on the boards that if family was more aware of time lines and side effects (most are not because they don't have the time to reserch because they're thrown into this Stage...) they would not do the drugs due to the horrible side affects.  I also read alot about nutrition helping alot.... I was speaking with a hospice nurse yesterday who told me of this woman with state iv breast cancer, chemo didn't help, but she went to cancer free with nutrition, I haven't looked at the site yet but her story is on "healthquartersministry.com".  But really, from all we know now, stage iv is treated for palliative care, to keep the patient comfortable.  After my dad died, I wished I was a little more patient with his pain after I learned more about what he was going through; I think the more patient and giving you are to your mom the more you will not have to regret later.

[Mur]

Thanks for your comments. My Mon doesn't live alone, she is with her husband, but he is much older and can only do so much. It is helpful that he is there, though. I know I can't expect her to be positive, but I wish she would have some sort of quality of life now, because it is only going to get worse. I guess we just have to take one day at a time and support her as much as possible.

[hm05]

Yes, NSCLC is a *****, it is the worst cancer in that the lungs are your life line. Breathing and life are synonomous. I am sorry to hear you are in a similar situation. My Mom had depression for months before her initial diagnosis, and then throughout, and now still, but she is so weak and sick and will not be complaining much longer, because she is approaching the end, sadly. I will tell you like Debbie said...PATIENCE...it is key. How on earth can you expect your Mom to have anything positive to say when stage IV is the end of the road? I mean, you will never get "I am so happy to just be alive" out of a stage IV lung cancer patient. My Mom is now in and out of "coherency" where the drugs have made her just out there.
Be patient and loving with your mom. Is she alone? Aren't you planning to be with her now? The Tarceva is only to postpone the growth, but will never be a cure...so know that this is why your mom can not be UPBEAT or positive. You can not know what they are going through.

(sorry about previous post-I copied and pasted your post too.)