Non Small Cell Lung Cancer Average Length of Life Expectancy and Growth Speed

[tompkin44]

My dad was diagnosed with NSCLC stage Iv and died one month later.  What is the average rate for which this cancer grows?  For example, did he probable get it about one month, six months or one year prior?
Thank You

[hm05]

Yes, NSCLC is a *****, it is the worst cancer in that the lungs are your life line.  Breathing and life are synonomous.  I am sorry to hear you are in a similar situation.  My Mom had depression for months before her initial diagnosis, and then throughout, and now still, but she is so weak and sick and will not be complaining much longer, because she is approaching the end, sadly.  I will tell you like Debbie said...PATIENCE...it is key.  How on earth can you expect your Mom to have anything positive to say when stage IV is the end of the road?  I mean, you will never get "I am so happy to just be alive" out of a stage IV lung cancer patient.  My Mom is now in and out of "coherency" where the drugs have made her just out there.
Be patient and loving with your mom.  Is she alone?  Aren't you planning to be with her now?  The Tarceva is only to postpone the growth, but will never be a cure...so know that this is why your mom can not be UPBEAT or positive.  You can not know what they are going through.  




My Mother has non small cell lung cancer. She had a lung removed 3 years ago,and was cancer free. In December it came back in the other lung and she is at stage IV. She couldn't tolerate chemo, and has been on Tarceva for 3 months. It seems to be helping, but the side effects are a killer! Lately it seems as if she is deteriorating. She has a cat scan this week, so we'll see if there is any change.

She was never a positive person, but now she calls me to complain about every little thing constantly. I know it is terrible she is sick, and I have to be strong for her. I want to tell her to at least say something positive, but I can't. I love my Mother..but it is so hard to cope.

Any suggestions?

[Mur]

My Mother has non small cell lung cancer. She had a lung removed 3 years ago,and was cancer free. In December it came back in the other lung and she is at stage IV. She couldn't tolerate chemo, and has been on Tarceva for 3 months. It seems to be helping, but the side effects are a killer! Lately it seems as if she is deteriorating. She has a cat scan this week, so we'll see if there is any change.

She was never a positive person, but now she calls me to complain about every little thing constantly. I know it is terrible she is sick, and I have to be strong for her. I want to tell her to at least say something positive, but I can't.     I love my Mother..but it is so hard to cope.

Any suggestions?

[tompkin44]

Yes, I have a 9 year old son Michael.  You know my mom died when I was 12 and I was so broken by her death... One of the verses I have in my bedroom are Jesus' words:

Let not your heart be troubled:
ye believe in God,
believe also in me.
In my Father's house are many dwelling places:
if it were not so,
I would have told you.
I go to prepare a place for you.
And if I go and prepare a place for you,
I will come again,
and receive you unto myself:
that where I am,
there ye may be also.  John 14:1-3

Jesus said this right after telling his disciples Judus would betray him, the night the soldiers came and He allowed Himself to be handed over and crucified: I never could understand that He allowed Himself to be punished for men's sin (mine), that He took the punishment for sin so we could be excused of it.  If you read John chapter 14 you will see he told them what was going to happen ahead of time.  You know 11 of the 12 disciples died horrible deaths beacuse they would not deny that He rose.  When I learned that it made me think twice.  

Why am I telling you this?  When I accepted Him as my savior, asked Him into my heart, I tell you He healed my heart!  I do feel so bad for you because I have felt that hurt when my mom died then watched my dad as you are.  So I will say, try Jesus, ask Him to show you if He is God, if He's not it won't hurt you anyway.  But I can attest He healed my heart and will for you too.

I have to tell you, I was raised in a Catholic Church but wanted nothing to do with it because all I saw were rituals and hypocricy, though deep down I knew there was a God.  At 23 years old I prayed and asked God how I could know Him...well, my old boyfriend poped back into my life but he had a different sparkle - he had accepted Jesus as His savior, I know how you feel about Jesus, actually I felt the same way.  I wanted to hear but for the past 10 years wanted nothing to do with Jesus, my college roomate would debate with me regarding Him!  It is a long story but God led me to a good Church where they taught what the Bible said, and I ended up seeing my sin and asking Jesus into my heart.

Well, if you still want to write I will check the board, I will be praying for you.  I am sure if you tell your mom you are sorry she will quickly tell you she forgives you for she knows your heart was and is in the right place.  Debbie

[hm05]

No, no children, yet.  I think maybe I will try soon.  My husband and I have been dealing with so much over the past 5 years.  First, 9-11, we were both there that day, and then my husbands Dad died one month before our wedding, and just one month after we visited him, for the 4th of July.  My husband lost his mom many years before, so now, it is like bang, bang, bang.  HIs father, my father, now my mother. I do feel a heavy weight is around me, and my pain is not lifting. I feel so helpless.  I have a fair amount of guilt already, from when I was her caregiver after her lung surgery.  We all thought she wasn't getting better, or getting out of bed, because she was just in her depression, but now I feel sooooo bad, because obviously, she was sick right along.  I so pushed her, and yelled at her, to get out of bed and enjoy her life, that she is one of the lucky ones whose cancer was caught.  Just get out of bed and do something and live your life.  She probably really wanted to, but just couldn't physically do it. I just spoke to her on the phone, and she just can hardly put a sentence together because she can not get alot of air.  I feel so bad for her, it is just tearing me up inside.  I broke down today, and just balled my eyes out, screaming into my pillow, GOD why ?  But I do realize there is a plan for us, and when it is your time to go you go.  I just hate dealing with the agony and the pain.  It is more than a human can bear.  Do you have kids Debbie?  Did they know their Grandfather?

[tompkin44]

I know what you mean about wanting to know how much time your mom has left, that is a very normal thing to want to know.  My dad's one oncologist who I felf was very smart and almost too blunt did give me a time frame when I really pressed him.  He said about 1 - 2 months, my dad passed away 2 weeks after that.  But you can see them weakening, my dad had more headaches and hiccups.  Also, his liver seemed to swell up, you could see his right side of his stomach swelling, 2 days before he died.  Just be with your mom as much as you can and be as patient as you can so you don't feel guilty after.  One thing, we were praying that God would send an angel to comfort my dad, 5 hours before he died he was drifting in and out of sleep and I was sitting beside him.  He wanted me to read him Romans chapter 4 which I was between his little rests.  During one knap he opened his eyes, turned his head to me and asked if I had my hand on his head.  I said no.  He closed his eyes and slowly said, "Someone had their hand on my forehead".  I do believe God had an angel their for my dad.  He passed away in his sleep.  Believe me, my heart goes out to you, it is so hard but keep loving your mom.  Do you have children?

[hm05]

Ok.  Yes, we have gotten things "as best as we can" squared away for my mother's care, when released from the Hospital, she will come home.  We received a bed and oxygen from Hospice, and they will be finding an aid for the daytime, for approx. four hours a day-and if they can not find a 4 hr. aid then we will do 8 hr. Then, at night, we hired a "family care giver" this is for 12 hrs. from 8-8...that way someone should always be around.  I don't know how long she has, but the dr. took her oxygen off yesterday after pulling the tube, because her o2 saturation levels were high.  Which is a good thing, so she won't need the o2 when she gets home, unless she becomes real breathless, etc.
I really hate the idea of NOT KNOWING what is coming down the pike for her, like how it will all go, and how fast.  I just wish someone could tell me, ok-1st, your mom will...
then she will....and finally she will..... I just hate the uncertainty of it all-but cancer is like that, isn't it.  I am  a control freak, and have problems letting others take care of things.  I think that is why I hate this whole thing, because I WANT TO BE THERE, I WANT TO HELP HER, and I WANT TO EASE HER PASSING ANYWAY I CAN.  I am an extention of her, and feel I know what she would best want.
If the family care worker is very expensive, 17.00hr, (who is from a good agency which is insured and bonded, and drives her own car, and has good references ) doesn't work out for some reason, then I really think I will lose it, because then the nursing home will be the only alternative. A private LPN is difficult to find, and is even more costly per hr. I tell you, it is just ridiculous how hard this is and how you really have to look under every rock to get the information. But I will say, thank You for giving me much needed advice and helpful suggestions.