probably overreacting

[ncguy]

Two weeks ago I received an "erotic massage" in a hotel room.  The only skin to skin contact was with her hand, however, I'm converned that I may have caught something from the bedspread while I was laying down naked. About 3 days after I noticed a slight discoloration on the tip of my penis, and the same day had a STD panel test done (all results came back negative).  However, the spot is still there, and I have mild discomfort in my genitals that comes and goes.  I'm pretty sure it's stress, but the spot worries me.  I was planning to get another panel test in a couple weeks (after a month). If they all come back negative, am I in the clear?

Thank you so much.

[ncguy]

I should add that my concern is that she performed similar massages on other people on the same bed (which would almost surely result in their fluids on the bedspread). When she finished she cleaned up with a hotel washcloth (which I assume was clean, but my anxiety makes me wonder about that too). Aside from the shame and guilt and nervousness, what really concerns me is the spot.  Thanks again.

[auntiejessi]

Your chances of getting anything from a bedspread or blanket is next to nothing.  I wouldn't worry about that at all, but would get your symptoms checked out.

Also, testing for stds at 3 days is really bordering on too early.  You might want to test again in a couple of weeks for gonorrhea and chlamydia, given your symptoms.  

Aj

[auntiejessi]

I would also add that if you do have an std, its not from this encounter.

[ncguy]

This was the first encounter of any kind I've had in months. So if we can rule out this encounter, that's all I need to know.  This is by far the stupidest thing I've ever done, and it's the only encounter of any kind I've had in months.  (And that was with someone I trust completely and was protected intercourse.)

Thank you.  For my own clarification, how long can STDs remain active on material? I've read varying answers to that question on the internet.  I don't recall any wetness, but the last two weeks have been absolutely nightmarish.

[auntiejessi]

It does vary, but I always say, "if its dried, its died" in regards to std bacteria.

AJ

[ncguy]

Thanks again.  I don't know how long it'll take me to stop worrying completely, but this helps.  I'm still a bit concerned about the spot, and I plan to see a urologist next week.  One more thing, does the "if it's dried, it's died" rule of thumb work for viruses too?

[auntiejessi]

Yeah, mostly.  Herpes and HIV die very quickly outside the body.  Hepatitis C takes longer, but that's only in blood.  Hepatitis B takes a little longer, too, but that wouldn't be spread via contact on a bed spread, etc.  You would have to get that virus IN your urethra for you to contract it.

Quite honestly, I'd be more worried about bed bugs, fungus, etc., that you find a lot in hotel rooms.  STDs wouldn't even cross my mind.

Aj

[ncguy]

I have one more follow-up question. In addition to the minor discomfort that comes and goes, I experience some itching that also comes and goes.  I'll go a few hours and not have any itching, but then I'll start itching and it'll last for an hour or so.  If this was an STD would the itching be continual, or would it come and go?

[auntiejessi]

It would be continual, but you should get that checked out.  It might be anxiety, but you should get it checked to be sure.

Aj

[ncguy]

I've been to the urologist, who says that the symptoms don't appear to be STD (which is a relief), and I realize that there's virtually no chance of contracting something without any kind of penetration (e.g. stray fluids on material).  But the spot still hasn't gone (it's been about 3 weeks now)... doesn't hurt/rupture/bleed/secrete, but it's there, like a freckle... you can't miss it.  I also continue (albeit less frequently) to have bouts of itching.  It'll go for hours (usually when I'm busy or focused on something else), but then when it comes back, it stays.  It's not dibilitating, and if it was the worst thing I had to deal with I'd be fine.  But it feels wrong, because this never happened before.  What could be causing this?  I plan to take a panel STD test next week (when it'll be 30 days since the night I wish never happened).

Thanks again.

[auntiejessi]

I don't know what it is.  Perhaps its just a freckle or something you've had all along and just noticed it because of this incident?

Aj

[ncguy]

Thanks.  It'd be obvious (to the urologist) if it was herpes or something, right? What about the itching? Psychosomatic?

[auntiejessi]

It would probably be obvious to the urologist if it was something abnormal.  Herpes isn't always that obvious, but it would cause more than a freckle-spot.

The itching could be purely psychosomatic.

Aj

[ncguy]

Thanks again.  What do you do when you're not talking people down from the ledge after their regrettable indiscretions?  :-)

[auntiejessi]

LOL nice description.

I have a pretty normal life - family, friends, etc.  

Aj

[ncguy]

Seems apt.  It's twice that you've made me feel a little less doomed.  I'll probably feel better after taking a test next week.  But this has been a horrific 3+ weeks.  I can't imagine what it's like if you do something that's more risky.  I've definitely learned my lesson.  I have my fingers crossed that logic wins out and I don't have any unwanted souvenirs.

[auntiejessi]

Good.  Just remember that we have loads and loads of studies and decades and decades worth of std treatment behind us.  We know how things are transmitted, and you are at no risk for an std.

Bed bugs, fungal infections and the heebie jeebies - yes.  ;)

AJ

[ncguy]

Logically, I know this... and I really appreciate the positive reinforcement.  But the mind plays tricks on the body.  (What's the best treatment for bed bugs, fungus, heebie jeebies?  I even got lice shampoo and did that all over a week apart just to be safe.)  :-)

[auntiejessi]

OMG you are overreacting here.  You don't have bed bugs - that would be bug bites all over your body.  Fungus can be treated with over the counter stuff for jock itch or yeast, and heebie jeebies just gets better with time and logic.  :)

AJ

[ncguy]

Sounds like heebee jeebies are going to be the toughest to treat.  :-)

[auntiejessi]

lol they usually are.  If they were easy to treat, I wouldn't be talking people down from the proverbial ledge, now would I?  ;)

AJ

[ncguy]

I suppose not.  But aside from altruism being its own reward, where to do find the time for all the ledge down-talking?

[auntiejessi]

Well, I'm not working now (as many Americans aren't) so that helps.

And really, most days I don't spend more than a couple of hours total on here.

Aj

[ncguy]

Well, I hope you're still out there. I need one last (hopefully) ledge talk.  The itching is still intermittent but seems to have decreased noticably. I figure this is because I've talked myself into not having any bed bugs or lice or anything and my brain has stopped fixating on any little normal itch.  But the spot at the opening of my penis still concerns me.  In my favor, (1) the urologist didn't seem troubled by it and (2) based on what I've read and what you've said it seems unlikely to catch something via latent fluid on a washcloth or bed spread.  On the other hand, it's not a freckle.  It looks almost like a bruise... only brown.  The darkness seems to change.  It hasn't (to my knowledge) secreted anything, and it certainly hasn't ruptured or bleed.  (Again, good things, in my book.)  There has also been no pain while urinating (which seems like a common symptom for many STDs).  But there is a slight discomfort on the tip of my penis.  I can't tell if it's where the spot is or not.  Either way, I suppose until I take the test and get the results next week, I'll be a little edgy -- even if logically I don't think I need to be.  What on earth could this spot be?

Thanks again...

Slowly stepping back from the ledge... but peeking down occasionally.