Don't know what to do

[JacksonNico89]

Hi there,

So in september i recieved a condom protected blowjob from a SW. I didnt get hard and she used her hands for parts of it. After finishing in the condom i went home washed with water and masturbated. Im worried that i could have got gonorrhea as some of the lotion i used went in my urethra.

In december i had bad pains in my penis tip but no discharge or burning on urination. I tested negative for gon in jan but afraid it could have cleared up and i passed it to my partner.

Thanks for your help

[GuitarRox]

You can't give yourself gonorrhea from masturbating with lotion. Hand jobs from another person but especially yourself are no risk for std's. Protected oral means you had a barrier. You tested negative. If you have penile discomfort, talk to your doctor but it sounds like it  has subsided and you have just left over anxiety. You never needed a test from your events as you really did not risk an std. I think I'd spend your time now working on overcoming anxiety.

[JacksonNico89]

Hi Rox,

Thank you for your answer. What i meant by the handjob was that bacteria on hands/base of penis could have transferred into urethra with masturbation with lotion

[JacksonNico89]

Hi Rox,

Thanks for your reply. To clarify I was worried the bacteria in the saliva i got on base of penis from protected oral could have transfered into my urethra with the lotion i used.

Have you seen gonorrhea present 2 months after an encounter ?

[GuitarRox]

I'm worried about your anxiety. It really comes down to that. Even if there was a risk involved, you tested negative. At this point, your anxiety is the issue.

[auntiejessi]

Gonorrhea - or any STI - doesn't work that way.

By the time you got home, washed, and masturbated, any bacteria would have died. There's no risk for infection.

Also, if you had infected your partner, they would have turned around and re-infected you, meaning you'd have tested positive in January.

As Rox said, this is all anxiety.

[JacksonNico89]

Issue is my partner and i dont have intercourse only genital rubbing not sure what its called tbh. She has always had vaginisms. I know my anxiety is bad, my concern is that id infected and cleared it before testing. So now I'll never know. Hard to decide what to do I just know id kill myself if my partner had PID. Thanks for your time both of you appreciate it.

[auntiejessi]

You aren't listening.

You couldn't have gotten it.

You couldn't have infected your partner if you couldn't have gotten it.

If you aren't penetrating your partner, you couldn't have infected her.

You need therapy. Your anxiety is leading you to think of harming yourself for no reason. Please, get the help you need. You've tested negative and do not have it. You never had it.

[JacksonNico89]

Thanks Jessie. I feel like i needed that bluntness. I will seek help and try to change my thoughts. Appreciate your help

[auntiejessi]

You're welcome.

Remember that guilt does not equal risk.

[Gazsmithster]

As a 3rd person to say the same thing - there was never any risk at all. Not even a close risk. Anxiety can cause you to feel normal sensations but at an increased rate. Try and relax and get counselling for health anxiety if needed.

[JacksonNico89]

Thanks Gaz. The feelings of burning were so intense that's why i got so convinced, I've read gonorrhea is almost always presenting within 2 weeks so convinced myself these symptoms were either harmless ngu or just anxiety/ pelvic floor dysfunction. I've started counselling and have given up drinking heavily so i never end up in this situation again.

[auntiejessi]

I'm so happy you've started counseling. :)

Alcohol is very irritating to the bladder and urethra. If you're drinking heavily, and especially if you're not drinking enough water, that can cause burning/pain/irritation in the bladder, penis and urethra.

Glad you're doing better. :)